I'm all good bro. Just wanted to make sure that you were ok..just had a 3 day weekend here which was pretty nice...shit weather but you get that this time of year. Nice just to stay indoors and relax
Been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist lately and it turns out I have alot of fucked up issues that i had no idea about until now. ADHD symptoms, Bi-polar, high anxiety, extreme depression and PTSD from a shitty childhood. It sucks but it's a relief to know why I might be the way I am. By the way I know I haven't been active here in some time. I just want to say that if I've ever been a dick to you I do apologize. I've gone through some interesting things that have somewhat changed my ways. I've also done a ton of psychadelics and have had some extreme ego deaths that have helped put me in my place as well. I hope you all find peace.
Feel a bit flat today. Found out yesterday that a good client of mine killed himself last week. Okay he was "only" a client but I like most of the people I work for. He was an awesome guy - like a really pleasant guy to work for. Really nice family. Successful business Two kids and a wife Just makes me wonder how someone can get in such a dark place that they need to leave this world and their family behind
What's more he was an identical twin and whenever I go to see them each year for our annual catch up I see both him and his brother (I can tell them apart but it's funny talking to the same looking people at once) It'll be weird going to see his brother in a few months time and seeing his identical twin ... like he is still with us
Been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist lately and it turns out I have alot of fucked up issues that i had no idea about until now. ADHD symptoms, Bi-polar, high anxiety, extreme depression and PTSD from a shitty childhood. It sucks but it's a relief to know why I might be the way I am. By the way I know I haven't been active here in some time. I just want to say that if I've ever been a dick to you I do apologize. I've gone through some interesting things that have somewhat changed my ways. I've also done a ton of psychadelics and have had some extreme ego deaths that have helped put me in my place as well. I hope you all find peace.
We’re all broken and damaged and walking around with some ptsd from childhood. Some people just haven’t started sorting through it yet.
Feel a bit flat today. Found out yesterday that a good client of mine killed himself last week. Okay he was "only" a client but I like most of the people I work for. He was an awesome guy - like a really pleasant guy to work for. Really nice family. Successful business Two kids and a wife Just makes me wonder how someone can get in such a dark place that they need to leave this world and their family behind
What's more he was an identical twin and whenever I go to see them each year for our annual catch up I see both him and his brother (I can tell them apart but it's funny talking to the same looking people at once) It'll be weird going to see his brother in a few months time and seeing his identical twin ... like he is still with us
Death of a twin is extra weird on top of an already difficult time.
My brother in law has been diagnosed as schizophrenic. He had been bumming around in shithole Alabama for years. We just figured he was either on pills or meth and that was what was wrong with him. He’s always been weird af and quiet. Used to blow off steam by taking long “walks” where nobody really ever knew his whereabouts and he would often bring stray animals back home.
About a year ago, he got arrested because he had wondered off and got lost during one of his walks and ended up breaking into someone’s tool shed and starting a fire to keep warm. His dad waited several months to bail him out, during which time we’re fairly certain he was raped. When he got out, he bounced between family members up north in Ohio and Pennsylvania until he set a fire in his dad’s kitchen and finally got institutionalized for a time.
When he got out, instead of attempting to help, his dad bought him a bus ticket and sent him back to Alabama. My sister in law lives there, but she has 4 kids with 2 deadbeats, so she didn’t have the time or resources to deal with him. He ended up living mostly in a trailer his buddy sold meth out of.
My wife largely avoids her family, so she was in the dark about how he was until about a month ago. She went to visit and came back with videos where he was raving about sex cults infiltrating the local police dept and discussing two imaginary women he was in love with. He had carved the women’s names into his arm. She said the photo he kept in his wallet of one of the women was a clip from a magazine ad. He also told her he had been attempting to have sex with trees, described an unhealthy obsession with a local cop, and would sometimes speak in tongues. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. He hadn’t had a haircut in a while and sadly resembled a young Charles Manson.
His situation came to a head when his friends left him in charge of their four year old son and when they returned he had spaced out and let the child wonder off to be found down the road alone. So he got kicked out of the meth trailer. His dad then paid for him to stay in a hotel for a week. When we went to get him he had removed all of the light bulbs In his room and put aluminum foil over the windows and mirrors.
So last Thursday, I drove him 14 hours (in one sitting) to Pennsylvania and we had him committed up there to be closer to their mother. It was the longest trip of my life, not just in pure distance but in terms of my sanity. Every time we stopped for bathroom breaks or food, he would wonder off. At one stop at a gas station/McDonalds combo, I found him in a bathroom stall talking to himself, scaring the shit out of some guy in there. At another, he randomly changed pants in the lobby of a rest area. He was constantly talking to himself, tossing things around the car, shouting out the windows, burning himself, etc. I couldn’t play any aggressive music because it agitated him. By the end of the trip, I was dying to listen to something with bite to help keep me awake. Schizos also don’t bathe properly or regularly, so the motherfucker stunk the car up. Had to detail it when I got home so it wouldn’t smell like old feet and ass.
We had their mother meet us at the hospital where we told him that we had pre-screened the doctors to make sure they weren’t in the same sex cult as the Alabama cops. He went in willingly. However, when we called the hospital the next day, they said he had left the same night. So I spent most of Friday night driving around York, Pa looking for him. Finally, he called their mother. He didn’t leave, but had been transferred to another facility that wasn’t crowded and the hospital just relayed the info wrong.
My mother in law has a new husband that I met. He’s kind of an idiot. Neither one of them has the faintest idea of how debilitating Schizophrenia is. Had to have a long talk with both of them to get them understanding and on board. I tried to have the same talk with my wife’s grandmother, but that went nowhere and she and my wife ended up having a big fucking fight where my wife left and I got stuck awkwardly sitting there. I had to drive back Saturday because my daughter’s birthday was Monday. Ended up spending 26 hours driving over 3 days.
Its been a taxing experience. It’s been a week since I got back and I’ve barely recovered. My mother in law has talked with him this week, and says he’s making a lot more sense but that he’s always tired. Hopefully it’s all been worth the trouble
Yeah that was a wild read. You’re a good dude for forking all that for him. Shit like that is usually thankless but if people don’t man up like you did these types of vulnerable people her lost in the cracks. Hopefully they can find him the right medics to help allow him to function better.
What’s crazy is the amount of stuff I left out. Like his friend told us that once he walked out into the woods and didn’t come back for 3 days. When he did come back, he was dirty and covered in bug bites and couldn’t remember where he had been. At one point during the drive, he had this major freak out because we passed a Jehovah’s Witness church. He took a drink and squeezed it until it burst all over the back seat. I had to pull over and put my hand on his shoulder and look him in the eye and promise him I wouldn’t let anything happen to him to get him to calm down.
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How are you cunts?
long time lol. Hope you are doing good.
Found out yesterday that a good client of mine killed himself last week.
Okay he was "only" a client but I like most of the people I work for.
He was an awesome guy - like a really pleasant guy to work for.
Really nice family.
Successful business
Two kids and a wife
Just makes me wonder how someone can get in such a dark place that they need to leave this world and their family behind
What's more he was an identical twin and whenever I go to see them each year for our annual catch up I see both him and his brother (I can tell them apart but it's funny talking to the same looking people at once)
It'll be weird going to see his brother in a few months time and seeing his identical twin ... like he is still with us
My mother in law has a new husband that I met. He’s kind of an idiot. Neither one of them has the faintest idea of how debilitating Schizophrenia is. Had to have a long talk with both of them to get them understanding and on board. I tried to have the same talk with my wife’s grandmother, but that went nowhere and she and my wife ended up having a big fucking fight where my wife left and I got stuck awkwardly sitting there. I had to drive back Saturday because my daughter’s birthday was Monday. Ended up spending 26 hours driving over 3 days.