Let that shit out. We are all carrying a fuckton of ptsd style baggage. Everybody got fucked up in one way or another. Most of us weren’t raised to be open about personal trauma so it got shoved to the back of the mind to be carried around and dealt with later. It’s time to put the baggage down. Don’t carry it forever, that shit is heavy and it hurts. Put on the playlist, crank it up and cry it out.
Some positive updates for a change of pace. Been seeing this new girl for a few months now, things are going great so far and we couldn't get along better. I didn't realize I was going to be ready to see someone again as I didn't really have much direction for myself over the last couple years, but I honestly haven't been happier.
I'm also a week and a half away from moving into my grandma's old place which has made me so excited to finally move out of this apartment that I used to share with my ex. It'll be a very welcomed change of pace and has motivated me to want to eventually move into a house of my own. My grandma's old place will be temporary, likely a year or so. Once it's sold though, my part of the inheritance should be enough for a nice down payment on a home, which is the current plan.
I suppose it’s back on the battlefield and not just in training if you’re mentioning the emotional connection. Unless your just taking the time to love yourself lol. Good news either way.
I was pretty comfy with the single life and then a big tiddie irish chick wandered in but it's been good 😂
We been taking it mucho slow cuz we both are still fairly fresh out of longterm relationships, but we're not seeing other people because we're both anxious fucks who like each other 🤙
Some positive and negative things for me lately. I haven't slept good in weeks because of my POPS struggles. He got let go from his job while he was hospitalized, so when he got out he was depressed and like addicts do went right back to the sauce.
He has since quit, and completely detoxed. Were at 7 days today. Some of the stories he was telling me were wild. He said he was hallucinating so bad that he thought people were in his house. He would have to walk up to them and look them in the eye to get them to go away. Said he called the cops and the cops asked him if hes lonely lmao. It scared him pretty bad i think lol. Hopefully fear will be an effective enough motivator to keep him sober this time, but i have my doubts.
This has put me in a constant state of worry. Which induces insomnia for me. So i have been sleeping from about 2 am to 6:30 am or so for the last 3 weeks. Looking forward to sleeping this weekend.
On a more positive note, My GF is pregnant. We are still at the early early stages, so we obviously aren't telling anyone. I really want to be thrilled right now. But with the pressures of Christmas, and the fact that i took a 15k pay hit this year, are just making it hard for me to find joy in anything that requires me to be more fiscally responsible than i am now.
Next year should be a killer year financially for me. but man i am just feeling overwhelmed, and its hard to keep it together when you are not sleeping well.
My wife recently got custody of her first child back, so I have 4 kids around most weekends. She’s 16. My 14 year old son is used to being the oldest, so having an older sister around now is uncomfortable for him, especially since he’s oddly sort of a born fascist and she’s an sjw. They fight a lot and even though I love my son to death, he’s mostly in the wrong. It’s difficult because I don’t really get along with my stepdaughter much either. She’s ridiculously selfish and uses self diagnosed mental illness as a crutch. It’s fucking annoying
Last weekend, my stepdaughter and 11 year old daughter went out walking, presumably to the skate park at the town square. I was at the garbage dump in line trying to drop off some shit from my garage when my wife called crying because she couldn’t get them to answer their phones and they weren’t at the park. It was red alert stressful for about 45 minutes before they finally called. They were at a boys house a county over. I rushed out and picked them up and took them home. Sent the stepdaughter back to her dad’s. Put the 11 year old on restriction and took her phone. Got into her phone and found out she’s been stealing weed from my stash and selling it to kids at school.
So then we go to thanksgiving at my rich sisters house. Everything seems to go well. Then I get a call from my sister Tuesday. My daughter told her cousins (who are all sheltered, private school kids) that she smokes weed and vapes daily and that she’s been sending booty pics to boys. Her cousins freaked out and told my sister. I went home and took my daughter out for a ride and had a very long talk about what she’s been doing. I told her how bad the influence of trashy people and drugs fucked my whole life up and how much I’ve had to battle my entire adult life to be solvent. I *think* I got through to her, but only time will tell.
I knew that by having kids with a woman like my wife, who was bad af as a teen and spent most of middle school and high school incarcerated, that my kids would likely have wild tendencies. What’s hard on me is that my 11 year old has been my “easy” kid until very recently. She never really cried as a baby. She potty trained herself. She’s always had good grades. She’s never been demanding or difficult. Her current issues are a sea change from how she was up until maybe 6 months ago.
My wife is basically emotionally vacant. She has next to no empathy. I can’t talk to her about my feelings at all. She was really healthy for me when we met because she forced me to stop using my depression and anxiety as a crutch and to take life by the horns. But here lately, I’ve really needed someone to talk to.
Ive been having some extreme issues with high blood pressure that are exacerbated by my bad temper. I really can’t help getting pissed off about stupid shit like traffic. Like, I get so mad that I’m almost in tears by the time I get to work. When I step back, I see how damaging it is for me to get my blood up about shit like that, but I really can’t help it. I would’ve figured it out by now. But in my experience, mental help has been a mirage. I went to shrinks for 18 years and took all the meds I was given and it made me a mess.
I’m sorry you’re going through all that. I wish I could give you a better solution than “random weirdo on the internet whose top Spotify song/artist this year was Limp Bizkit is here to listen if you need to talk” but unfortunately that’s the best I can do.
She’s ok with the daughter, but there’s an odd level of competition there with her that she’s def not conscious of. She has a shorter temper with the daughter than any of the others, which has always struck me as odd. My 11 year old is the most like me of all of the kids and I think my wife subconsciously takes things out on her because of that. She’s not a bad mom though. She’s very loving and protective of the kids. Her main problems are inconsistency and laziness. She does the annoying thing where she lets social media take up too much of her time and ends up in stupid conflict with complete strangers online. The kids are getting to the age where they take offense to that shit stealing away her attention from them, so it’s causing conflict lately. We get along on most parenting ideals though. I’m especially happy that I don’t have to coparent with a bootlicker. I don’t have to worry about her finding Jesus or any of that sort of stupid shit that I’ve seen my friends go through. She’s been really down to earth and honest with the kids about stuff like sex and drugs. There’s a lot I like about her. She’s just not emotionally available. She came from a really rough upbringing with a stupid, annoying, trashy dumbass for a mom that never taught her how to succeed as an adult. Her mom basically bed-hopped her way from guy to guy with varying levels of dysfunction. For several years, there were 8 kids in their house with only 2 that shared the same set of parents. My wife’s entire core family consists of beautiful women with severe addiction issues, so there’s a swarm of men around them that are of questionable intentions. To cope with the dysfunction, my wife kinda dissociated emotionally. It took me a while to really reconcile with that. My family is very close. Like…we all tell each other “I love you” before we get off the phone. Stuff like that. My parents are both very successful and well-adjusted. They are very supportive, sweet people that showed me and my siblings how to be good people. I shower my kids and wife in love and support and it’s rubbed off on my wife. She told me that even though she first thought it was corny, she always wanted to have a family like mine. So while she’s acclimating over time to being loved and appreciated, she’s always going to be a little rough around the edges. She had a major falling out with her mother recently that forced to step back and reconsider how she viewed everything her mom taught her. They were already having a pretty big fight about how the mom was treating my wife’s schizophrenic brother when her sister told my wife that from ages 5-8 their half brother and step brother molested her and that the mom knew and didn’t do anything about it. That pretty much severed the connection when my wife found out. It’s allowed my wife to make huge strides. Her mom’s opinion had been holding us back as a couple since forever. She enabled a lot of negative approaches my wife had and she was always influencing my wife into shitty financial decisions. Now that she’s out of the equation, everything has been a lot better. It had been taboo to say anything negative about her mom, but now that we can be honest the kids are pretty savage about her and my wife gets it now. I know it’s sad that it had to come to that, but it is what it is. Alcohol had been another major problem for my wife, but she’s been sober 9 months now. Things have been rapidly improving lately. My wife finally got a job that she’s been able to hold for more than 6 months. She’s been promoted twice and had $8k in raises since starting in June. She’s also embraced extreme couponing, so we’ve started saving tons of money lately. I’m very encouraged by the recent results, but it has taken time and circumstances to get here.
That happens a lot more than you would think. I see weird shit like that all the time where Moms are ultra competitive wit their daughters, especially the younger more immature Moms. It makes sense too, because females are innately competitive wit eachother in general by nature. It’s why they’ll fuck wit a dude knowing he ain’t shit and has 4 other bitches on standby. “If he ultimately chooses me, I beat these bitches and won.”
Yeah one of my best friends was like that. She and her mom had a very competitive relationship. She passed away a little over 6 years ago and it wrecked her mother. I still talk to mom from time to time and she feels a lot of guilt about their relationship
Some positive and negative things for me lately. I haven't slept good in weeks because of my POPS struggles. He got let go from his job while he was hospitalized, so when he got out he was depressed and like addicts do went right back to the sauce.
He has since quit, and completely detoxed. Were at 7 days today. Some of the stories he was telling me were wild. He said he was hallucinating so bad that he thought people were in his house. He would have to walk up to them and look them in the eye to get them to go away. Said he called the cops and the cops asked him if hes lonely lmao. It scared him pretty bad i think lol. Hopefully fear will be an effective enough motivator to keep him sober this time, but i have my doubts.
update on this. Current tally is 9ish days?
But he was awarded unemployment. They fired him for misconduct but UAW found that he reported everything correctly, and that he was not properly warned about his attendance and they are going to award him unemployment.
Makes me really relieved for my dad. For all his shortcomings, hes never been the type to ever miss work, and quite frankly IMO should get unemployment.
He doesn't even want to just sit around. He wants to work, but most companies are going o wait until the first of the year to do most hiring at this point, so its really a reliefe for him. and quite honestly me.
theres absolutely no way we would let anyone move in with us. Its our one rule when it comes to helping people around us lol.and i was worried he wasnt going to make rent lol.
Dealing with addicts is tough. They’re like ticking time bombs. They require so much constant attention to their affliction that most can’t keep up. Even with my wife being off the sauce for 9 months, she still smokes weed and takes kratom for her opioid withdrawals. I don’t mind the weed, but the kratom has been a problem because she gets sick when she doesn’t take it. I get irritated because deep down it’s her lack of ability to handle stress that leads her back to it. She sorta creates or embellishes situations to give herself a reason to take it. I’ve been good about having solidarity with her about the drinking, but my firm’s Christmas party is Saturday at one of the partner’s houses and I would love to be able to cut loose.
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I'm also a week and a half away from moving into my grandma's old place which has made me so excited to finally move out of this apartment that I used to share with my ex. It'll be a very welcomed change of pace and has motivated me to want to eventually move into a house of my own. My grandma's old place will be temporary, likely a year or so. Once it's sold though, my part of the inheritance should be enough for a nice down payment on a home, which is the current plan.
We been taking it mucho slow cuz we both are still fairly fresh out of longterm relationships, but we're not seeing other people because we're both anxious fucks who like each other 🤙
He has since quit, and completely detoxed. Were at 7 days today. Some of the stories he was telling me were wild. He said he was hallucinating so bad that he thought people were in his house. He would have to walk up to them and look them in the eye to get them to go away. Said he called the cops and the cops asked him if hes lonely lmao. It scared him pretty bad i think lol. Hopefully fear will be an effective enough motivator to keep him sober this time, but i have my doubts.
This has put me in a constant state of worry. Which induces insomnia for me. So i have been sleeping from about 2 am to 6:30 am or so for the last 3 weeks. Looking forward to sleeping this weekend.
On a more positive note, My GF is pregnant. We are still at the early early stages, so we obviously aren't telling anyone. I really want to be thrilled right now. But with the pressures of Christmas, and the fact that i took a 15k pay hit this year, are just making it hard for me to find joy in anything that requires me to be more fiscally responsible than i am now.
Next year should be a killer year financially for me. but man i am just feeling overwhelmed, and its hard to keep it together when you are not sleeping well.
Fuck i am hoping it's a boy lmao.
Yeah i am pretty excited for the little thing.
her Gma keeps telling me shes giving us 5k when we get engaged though lmao
Last weekend, my stepdaughter and 11 year old daughter went out walking, presumably to the skate park at the town square. I was at the garbage dump in line trying to drop off some shit from my garage when my wife called crying because she couldn’t get them to answer their phones and they weren’t at the park. It was red alert stressful for about 45 minutes before they finally called. They were at a boys house a county over. I rushed out and picked them up and took them home. Sent the stepdaughter back to her dad’s. Put the 11 year old on restriction and took her phone. Got into her phone and found out she’s been stealing weed from my stash and selling it to kids at school.
Life isn’t easy
knew and didn’t do anything about it. That pretty much severed the connection when my wife found out. It’s allowed my wife to make huge strides. Her mom’s opinion had been holding us back as a couple since forever. She enabled a lot of negative approaches my wife had and she was always influencing my wife into shitty financial decisions. Now that she’s out of the equation, everything has been a lot better. It had been taboo to say anything negative about her mom, but now that we can be honest the kids are pretty savage about her and my wife gets it now. I know it’s sad that it had to come to that, but it is what it is. Alcohol had been another major problem for my wife, but she’s been sober 9 months now. Things have been rapidly improving lately. My wife finally got a job that she’s been able to hold for more than 6 months. She’s been promoted twice and had $8k in raises since starting in June. She’s also embraced extreme couponing, so we’ve started saving tons of money lately. I’m very encouraged by the recent results, but it has taken time and circumstances to get here.
But he was awarded unemployment. They fired him for misconduct but UAW found that he reported everything correctly, and that he was not properly warned about his attendance and they are going to award him unemployment.
Makes me really relieved for my dad. For all his shortcomings, hes never been the type to ever miss work, and quite frankly IMO should get unemployment.
He doesn't even want to just sit around. He wants to work, but most companies are going o wait until the first of the year to do most hiring at this point, so its really a reliefe for him. and quite honestly me.
theres absolutely no way we would let anyone move in with us. Its our one rule when it comes to helping people around us lol.and i was worried he wasnt going to make rent lol.