Mindy: Shit nigger, goddamn it! Nina (my little sister): Whoa. That's like a simile. Because they're brown and stuff. Me: Who are you and what have you done with my sister?
Nina: I want some Famous Anus cookies Me: It's Famous Amos.
Just had a classic Metal Uprising style argument wit my Stepdad.
*Weather's on.*
Me: Dooooope, snow 3 days this week. Him: No, that's just rain tomorrow. Me: It's both snow and frozen rain. Him: No, that's only rain. Me: Rewind that shit right now. (We have Xfinity and you can rewind live TV.) *Gets back to the 7 day forecast.* Me: Pause it. Look at that shit. That's clearly streaks of rain and white snowflakes. Him: The white is the ice 'cause it's frozen rain. Me: Are you kidding me? Those are ROUND WHITE SPECKS, coming down wit streaks of rain. Him: *Gets closer to the screen.* Oh. Yea. Guess you're right. Me: :-| Him: :-|
So my girlfriend and I are laying on her bed and start making out. It's going great for awhile and we're starting to get into it pretty good when all of a sudden someone calls my phone. Now usually we'd just ignore it but I had recently changed my ringtone to the theme song from the TV show "Dallas". Needless to say you can't exactly keep going when you have this song blasting right in your ear (I also had the volume turned all the way up for whatever reason).
So my girlfriend and I are laying on her bed and start making out. It's going great for awhile and we're starting to get into it pretty good when all of a sudden someone calls my phone. Now usually we'd just ignore it but I had recently changed my ringtone to the theme song from the TV show "Dallas". Needless to say you can't exactly keep going when you have this song blasting right in your ear (I also had the volume turned all the way up for whatever reason).
try being in the same situation but having their drunk mother come in wearing their clothes, tight band shirt, skinny jeans and all, and singing along to the A Day To Remember we had playing -_-
my boss intercoms me and all I can hear is the theme song for Always Sunny in Philadelphia he's deaf so he cranks the TV up real loud and he yells into the phone, "what the hell am I watching? is that Danny DeVito??"
Comments
doesn't drink beer? sounds like a faggot
Mindy: Shit nigger, goddamn it!
Nina (my little sister): Whoa. That's like a simile. Because they're brown and stuff.
Me: Who are you and what have you done with my sister?
Nina: I want some Famous Anus cookies
Me: It's Famous Amos.
*Weather's on.*
Me: Dooooope, snow 3 days this week.
Him: No, that's just rain tomorrow.
Me: It's both snow and frozen rain.
Him: No, that's only rain.
Me: Rewind that shit right now. (We have Xfinity and you can rewind live TV.)
*Gets back to the 7 day forecast.*
Me: Pause it. Look at that shit. That's clearly streaks of rain and white snowflakes.
Him: The white is the ice 'cause it's frozen rain.
Me: Are you kidding me? Those are ROUND WHITE SPECKS, coming down wit streaks of rain.
Him: *Gets closer to the screen.* Oh. Yea. Guess you're right.
Me: :-|
Him: :-|
"My grandpa used to call Hershey's Kisses Nigger Titties"
Moral of the story: Stay away from novelty ringtones.
That's a make or break for a girl.
I think I'm just gonna change mine back to the ringtone from "Crank".
This song...
This song is...perfect.
AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING ROLL HER OVER AND START CLAPPIN' DEM CHEEKZ TO THIS SHIT?
Fucking faggot man, fucking faggot.
Customer:You know hurricane Sandy was made by Russians on a laptop?
Me:Cant say ive heard that before.
Customer: Yeah also sandy hook was all the doings of Russian Spies.
Me: How do you figure?
Customer: Both events have the code name Sandy therefore it must be the Russians trying to destroy us.
Me:
Edit. Sad thing was he was 100% serious.
he's deaf so he cranks the TV up real loud
and he yells into the phone, "what the hell am I watching? is that Danny DeVito??"