so I'm driving through the gas station the other day, past the front door while a bunch of young, african american children are coming out. one of them yells, while pointing at me, "hey! it's that lady from the you tube video!" dammit! I'm letting myself go grey but I don't look that old.
My sister: Sweden's above Canada, right? Me: No, it's between Norway and Finland. My sister: That's where we get Swedish Fish and Swiss cheese from, right? Me: How are we related?
Me: did your dad come get kristin yet? 10 mins later no answer Me: ur dad is there 10 mins later no answer Me: Hello, hello, hello is there anybody in there, just nod if you can hear me, is there anyone home? Joey: the fuck u talkin about? Me: lol... i was just singing some floyd to you Joey: lol... u smoking? Me: a cig... u didn't answer earlier Joey: oh gotcha my phone was charging and i was cleaning up after the puppies
Driving home last night. Me: "Tiller, respond to this sentence in the most retarded way ever." My friend Tiller: "Okay." *30 seconds later sitting at a stoplight, we look in the back.* Me: "Well?" Tiller: "Oh, THAT sentence."
so I'm driving through the gas station the other day, past the front door while a bunch of young, african american children are coming out. one of them yells, while pointing at me, "hey! it's that lady from the you tube video!" dammit! I'm letting myself go grey but I don't look that old.
all I wanna know is; where is my $667,000.00?
There's no way you look like the bus monitor!? Your hair is like 12 ft long for starters And you may be old but you aint that old b-(
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all I wanna know is; where is my $667,000.00?
Me: No, it's between Norway and Finland.
My sister: That's where we get Swedish Fish and Swiss cheese from, right?
Me: How are we related?
Me: "Tiller, respond to this sentence in the most retarded way ever."
My friend Tiller: "Okay."
*30 seconds later sitting at a stoplight, we look in the back.*
Me: "Well?"
Tiller: "Oh, THAT sentence."
Your hair is like 12 ft long for starters
And you may be old but you aint that old b-(
but then again who isn't hotter than the bus monitor?
and my hair is only four feet long. you are converting to metric backwards
"if you're willing to spend $150 and up for something signed when the guy signs a to of stuff free at camp, someone should take your money"
"we live in a country where people watch jersey shore"
- Bender, Futurama
the rapper Satan changed into a spider pissed Satan off again and Satan turned him into a shit eatin fly this time
rapper sayz: "That Satan is a motherfucker"
:-j
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)