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Post your favorite quotes that someone said something you said or something you overheard today

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  • OPPOPP Posts: 50,132 spicy boy
    That would be pretty awkward doe.
    I love winning with women
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  • MetalSSlayerMetalSSlayer Posts: 6,164 destroyer of motherfuckers
    "I got this. I've used a Mac before."
    -My friend Rob
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  • drinkwine732drinkwine732 Posts: 20,418 destroyer of motherfuckers
    I forget how, but when I was chillin' with my buddies, the question "What's the most awkward moment you can think of?" came up and one of my friends came up with a rapist who can't get it up or pre-mature ejaculates.
    So you think it's awkward if a woman's saving grace is a man's erectile disfunction? Or that it's awkward that her horror is over sooner because of a man's incapability to keep it going? That's fucking sick.
    My Top Albumsidrinkwine732's Profile Page
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  • MenAreTrashMenAreTrash Posts: 27,667 spicy boy
    It's awkward for dude.
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  • TortureQueenTortureQueen Posts: 805 just the tip
    "Maybe an inticement"
    "Intice me more baby"
    "My rod, your mouth and a happy ending!!!"
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  • SkullAndCrossbonesSkullAndCrossbones Posts: 16,452 destroyer of motherfuckers
    :|
    creepy. am i right?
    "That's another thing I love about metal, it's so fuckin' huge yet certain people don't even know it exists." - Rob Zombie
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  • KridesBrideBrittKridesBrideBritt Posts: 25,781 jayfacer
    5:00 this morning. My sister wakes me up holding a frozen bag of uncooked chicken.

    My sister: Hey. You gotta cook the chicken.
    Me: Go away. I'm trying to sleep.
    My sister: But the chicken!
    Me: Fuck the chicken.
    My sister: That's a bad word.
    Me: Fuck off. I'm trying to sleep.
    My sister: But...chicken. Dad said you have to cook the chicken.
    Me: I don't give a damn! It's five in the fucking morning!
    My sister: Dad! She won't stop cursing about the chicken!
    Me: Go away.
    My dad: She's right. There's no need to curse the chicken.
    Me: Fuck you! Go away!
    My dad: Fine, but remember, the chicken is watching you.

    My dad then grabs the bag of chicken and puts it on my bed table then walks out of my room and my sister is laughing. Something is seriously wrong with my family.
    kristianPhotobucketPhotobucket Trephination-Tuesday Nights/Wednesday Mornings...11pm-1am- http://wrsu.rutgers.edu/listen.html
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  • TigerTiger Posts: 2,116 balls deep
    =))
    The day you need a gun and don't have one, may be your last.

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  • KridesBrideBrittKridesBrideBritt Posts: 25,781 jayfacer
    I thought I dreamed it until I woke up and there was a bag of chicken sitting there.
    kristianPhotobucketPhotobucket Trephination-Tuesday Nights/Wednesday Mornings...11pm-1am- http://wrsu.rutgers.edu/listen.html
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  • SkullAndCrossbonesSkullAndCrossbones Posts: 16,452 destroyer of motherfuckers
    =)) =)) =)) =))
    "That's another thing I love about metal, it's so fuckin' huge yet certain people don't even know it exists." - Rob Zombie
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  • JLRedWing13JLRedWing13 Posts: 48,736 mod
    :))
    JLRedWing13's Profile PagePhotobucketimage
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  • GazorpazorpfieldGazorpazorpfield Posts: 22,293 master of ceremonies
    Friend told me random quotes from the Bonnaroo campground

    *dudes eating a sandwich with nothing but lettuce, cheese and tomato*
    Camper 1: Man, why isn't there any bacon on there?
    Camper 2: Because I can't eat meat on shrooms
    *throws up*
    Camper 2: Maybe I can only eat meat on shrooms

    Camper 1: Dude, do you have a knife?
    Camper 2: I have a lighter...it's like a fire knife

    Guy walking around with a bowl of salsa: Does anybody want some rolls? I've got some rolls if you want some. Does anybody want rolls?
    image Photobucket
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  • NOLANOLA Posts: 6,353 jayfacer
    "Thanks for nothing, Tide with FeBreze scent. Now my bed sheets smell like Puerto Rican hooker queefs."
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  • NecrothulhuNecrothulhu Posts: 33,444 master of ceremonies
    Some chicks on my facebook are just.. <_>

    " *Since there seems to be people soO* concerned with my life instead of their own I'm gonna be straight up.... Yes me *n* my sexy Sara does do sexual favors for each other when were together she licks my twat *n* I lick the shit out of hers!! Whoever has a problem with it can suck it I love my bitch no matter what any of you think :) !!*"
    imageimage
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  • ZmbieFlavrdCupcakesZmbieFlavrdCupcakes Posts: 32,259 jayfacer
    *
    imageimage
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  • NolaFree810NolaFree810 Posts: 36,796 moneytalker
    Some chicks on my facebook are just.. <_>

    " *Since there seems to be people soO* concerned with my life instead of their own I'm gonna be straight up.... Yes me *n* my sexy Sara does do sexual favors for each other when were together she licks my twat *n* I lick the shit out of hers!! Whoever has a problem with it can suck it I love my bitch no matter what any of you think :) !!*"
    *sends fb friend request*
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  • FIRENATHANIELHACKETTFIRENATHANIELHACKETT Posts: 35,453 spicy boy
    Some chicks on my facebook are just.. <_>

    " *Since there seems to be people soO* concerned with my life instead of their own I'm gonna be straight up.... Yes me *n* my sexy Sara does do sexual favors for each other when were together she licks my twat *n* I lick the shit out of hers!! Whoever has a problem with it can suck it I love my bitch no matter what any of you think :) !!*"
    I came.
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  • drinkwine732drinkwine732 Posts: 20,418 destroyer of motherfuckers
    TO BANAROO WE ALL GO NEXT YEAR!
    friend on fb:
    "When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name, to let them know I don't really care about them."
    That's from Ron Swanson.
    My Top Albumsidrinkwine732's Profile Page
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  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,552 master of ceremonies
    5:00 this morning. My sister wakes me up holding a frozen bag of uncooked chicken.

    My sister: Hey. You gotta cook the chicken.
    Me: Go away. I'm trying to sleep.
    My sister: But the chicken!
    Me: Fuck the chicken.
    My sister: That's a bad word.
    Me: Fuck off. I'm trying to sleep.
    My sister: But...chicken. Dad said you have to cook the chicken.
    Me: I don't give a damn! It's five in the fucking morning!
    My sister: Dad! She won't stop cursing about the chicken!
    Me: Go away.
    My dad: She's right. There's no need to curse the chicken.
    Me: Fuck you! Go away!
    My dad: Fine, but remember, the chicken is watching you.

    My dad then grabs the bag of chicken and puts it on my bed table then walks out of my room and my sister is laughing. Something is seriously wrong with my family.










    Your family is weird Brit

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  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,552 master of ceremonies
    Reminds me of a joke....

    Guy says to girl "do you like chicken?"
    Girl says "Yes!!!"
    Guy unzips fly, pulls out cock and says "well suck on this, it's foul"! (fowel)
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