Yeah, when I first started seeing Amanda, I didn't have a phone anymore because I hated people so much at the time. I just wanted to vanish from society. She kinda got a kick outta how crusty and misanthropic I was. Go figure
Look I'll be honest. You're one of my best friends. And I have no secrets. I care about you a lot. But here's the deal.
I have been struggling with on-and-off feelings for you for years now. It's dumb, I know. But I've had a hard time getting completely over you.
I know you've said that you aren't interested in me in that way, but sometimes when we hang out I feel like you might. Obviously its mixed signals, and my brain interpreting conversations and actions differently than what is really happening. Human minds are irrational and stupid in that way.
Regardless, I am not healthy. Emotionally and mentally. And a lot of it stems from my conflicted feelings for you. In order for me to get healthy, I have to get over you.
I have been clinging to some false hope that you might someday change your mind. That if I keep at it long enough and hard enough I could convince you that I am worthy of you.
Last night, through various conversation its obvious that you do not feel the way towards me as I have towards you. And that's not your fault. That's part of life. I get that. My quest is a fools errand.
But for once, I am going to think of my own miserable life for once. And its because you're one of my best friends that I am thinking this way...
But I dont think spending 10 hours in a car, and a night in a hotel with you will be good for my mental health.
My only issue is that you choose to make these statements to her in a text message. I think it would be better if you just came out with it. Sometimes, telling a girl how much she means to you and have her able to see your eyes and know you speak the truth touches a different level than merely the words existing alone
If you're going to continue speaking with her you need to curtail the mental instability shit. People get too easily creeped out and have too much ability to have you "evaluated"
But whatever. If she doesnt respond, she doesnt respond. Maybe when I feel comfortable I'll reach out to her again, but until then I have to put her out of my mind for a while.
I do wonder what she's thinking through all this. If she thinks I'm crazy. Or if she will regret turning me away. Idk...
Any move is better than no move. Don't worry about the response, it's not about her. It's about you. Waiting on her response will drive you nuts. No way of knowing if she read it, is thinking on it, is at a loss for words, or just doesn't care. Doesn't matter, you said what needed saying.
Look I'll be honest. You're one of my best friends. And I have no secrets. I care about you a lot. But here's the deal.
I have been struggling with on-and-off feelings for you for years now. It's dumb, I know. But I've had a hard time getting completely over you.
I know you've said that you aren't interested in me in that way, but sometimes when we hang out I feel like you might. Obviously its mixed signals, and my brain interpreting conversations and actions differently than what is really happening. Human minds are irrational and stupid in that way.
Regardless, I am not healthy. Emotionally and mentally. And a lot of it stems from my conflicted feelings for you. In order for me to get healthy, I have to get over you.
I have been clinging to some false hope that you might someday change your mind. That if I keep at it long enough and hard enough I could convince you that I am worthy of you.
Last night, through various conversation its obvious that you do not feel the way towards me as I have towards you. And that's not your fault. That's part of life. I get that. My quest is a fools errand.
But for once, I am going to think of my own miserable life for once. And its because you're one of my best friends that I am thinking this way...
But I dont think spending 10 hours in a car, and a night in a hotel with you will be good for my mental health.
Im sorry. I hope you still have a good time.
PROUD OF YOU SON. Seriously, good for you dude.
I dont know how I feel yet.
She still hasnt said anything.
Maybe thats for the best. You don't want her to say some bullshit that she doesn't mean just because she knows it will suck you back in.
Finally catching up on the last 6 pages of this thread Well done MC I gotta say man you write very well and are very articulate I'd fuck up a text like that and wouldn't be able to express myself 1/2 as well as you did
And don't have any regrets to sending it man you did good homey not sure if I've said this before but come to NZ we have sheep they don't hurt your feelings and they don't break your heart but if they do we eat 'em
Comments
Gonna be some A+ nu-metal, dawg
She still hasnt said anything.
Don't get down on yourself if she doesn't respond, its not worth it.
I do wonder what she's thinking through all this. If she thinks I'm crazy. Or if she will regret turning me away. Idk...
Everything sucks.
She got dumped from the friend zone.
McFuck that bitch.
Well done MC
I gotta say man you write very well and are very articulate
I'd fuck up a text like that and wouldn't be able to express myself 1/2 as well as you did
you did good homey
not sure if I've said this before but come to NZ
we have sheep
they don't hurt your feelings
and they don't break your heart
but if they do
we eat 'em