I've been through a bunch of shit...most of it happened between me being 11-15. Pretty sure some of the shit that happened tp me sparked my social anxiety, cuz I used to be really different and very outgoing.
no doubt...back in the day i was never afraid to meet new people...i think a lot of what iv been threw and the drug use has had an effect and fucks me when it comes to anxiety
I get pumped when I think about getting a job...then all the people I eould have to be around and talk to sinks in and my anxiety kicks in and shit goes downhill fast :-(
iv found the best way to overcome a fear like that is to force yourself to do it...no matter how much everything is telling you no...just go do it...there is no better feeling then doing something you feel like you can't....you have it in you leah!
I know I wouldn't be able to do just any job...like McDonalds. I could maybe be a janitor lol. The anxiety mixed with my blood pressure bullshit isn't a good mix and would extra stress me out
I was born in 1991 in a small town West Virginia, blah blah normal kid shit happened scraped knees, arms, etc.. In 2001 i got into a golf cart accident and lacerated my liver, was flown to Fairfax, VA where i spent the week before my birthday in the hospital. Haven't Driven a golf cart since. In 2004 my grandfather had a stroke, was the first time i ever saw my father cry, my grandfather was declared brain dead and kept alive for 2 days after the stroke, me and my dad went to the hospital around 11:30 p.m. and me and my dad watched as they pulled the plug on my grandfather. A bunch of drama happened at his funeral and i havent talked to anyone on my dad's side of the family since then. normal teenager crap. When i was 14 my grandmother bought me Guitar Hero and thats when i started getting into metal. At 15 i went to my first concert which was 3 doors down. At 16 i dropped out of high school and got my GED. At 17 i was at a party and i watched 1 one my best friends overdose and die while fucked up on heroin. At 18 I started college, halfway through the first semester i dropped all of my classes. some more stuff happened. those who were on the official forums last year know the rest. here i am today.
there is a lot more fucked up stuff that has happened in my past but i choose to leave that out.
Ok..I was born at around 10:15 am on July 12th, 1989 in Stuebenville, OH. My mom had her tubes untied to have me so it's possible I wpuld have never been here. I have a half brother that's 13 years older then me but when I was little we had the traditional sibling bickering, even when I was a baby. Since he'd never let me play his computer games I'd pop off the keys on the keyboard, he'd toss me on the couch...shit like that. We all lived in an apartment that was a 3 minute walk from my grandma's until I was 2. That's when we moved into the house we have now. My brother moved out when I was 4 so I basically was a only child.
I grew up watching 90's nick, mtv, ect. I would play outside alot, 9 times out of 10 by myself. I didn't have a lot of friends when I was little so my best friend was my cousin. I was a huge tomboy and played sports like football, soccer, hockey and basketball with friends but never got on a team. I did play T-ball when I was 6 though, still have the shirt ha. I also played with cars alot as well. My dad started taking me to WVU football games around the same time. My mom worked at the hospital so sometimes I'd stay up late and wait for her to get home. In the summer she'd take me to my grandma's and have to carry me to the car. My grandma would make me these awesome ass waffles in the morning and I still want the recipe for them. I used to look at all my aunts art that's hanging on the walls upstairs and play with 80's toys.
The first concert I went to was Bryan Adams with my parents. I grew up on a variety of music...Journey, the BeeGees, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Van Halen, bands and artists from the 80's I don't remember the names of, same with the 90's. I started developing my own taste for music when I was young. I noticed I liked Nirvana, Metallica, Marilyn Manson...stuff I wasn't "supposed" to listen to. Loved the Spice Girls. Finally got a game consol in 1999, or 98. It was an awesome Nintendo 64 and I was addicted to it. Still have it and all my games. Got a clear purple gameboy a year after for christmas. Those were the good ol' days haha.
The whole pokemon thing happened, got all kinds of pokemon shit. Was made fun of a shit load in middle school and had a small group of friends. We were pretty much all nerds that watched anime. My favorite artists from then were Eminem and Blink 182. Had a huge crush on a boy named Chris..who was a drummer and a punk that also loved Blink. I'd always try to impress him with shit but would fail..poor me. I'd go to the mall alot with friends as well..cuz that was the only hang out spot at the time. One summer my grandma got brain cancer and it kinda fucked everyone up. She and my aunt too me out shopping once, even though I didn't want to, because they hated what I wore. Got some tommy hilfiger things. I remember my aunt bitched cuz I wanted a shirt with a banana half peeled. A year later after I was at the mall and bought a Trust Co. cd, my mom made me go to my grandmas. By this point she had a hospital bed in the living room. All my aunts n uncles were there. I wanted to go stay at my friends but wasn't allowed. 5 minutes later she stopped breathing and that was the first time I seen everyone cry and I had to hold up my dad, which wasn't easy.
Not long after that other shit happened. My mom can't have a conversation with my dad, so she started conversating with somone else. My dad took it as cheating and I could see why but he blew it out of proportion. He slept in my bed for a while...which I hated and was awkward. Cops got called to my house one day coming home from school because mpof my dad cornering my mom. My dad and that side of the family tried to get me to stick on their side. My mom's health kept getting worse and all this gave her depression. The whole thing was shit.
Then my old crush Chris hooked me up with his best friend, whom I fell in love with within 2 weeks. That lasted 2 months and a week or so...then he cheated. I've said this story enough. Got to HS and all my firends were seniors and juniors. Got my ex back for cheating on me 3 times. I probably shouldn't have though. The summer later a few weeks after my birthday I got a call that he died in a wreck. Didn't believe it for 5 minutes...that was fucking horrible. Literally a week before I saw him one last time at Chris' place. His car broke down and he had to fix it. That was also the night Satan happened to me and I got raped. All because I needed a ride outta there cuz Chris' stupid grandpartents thought I came with Oliver and got a stick up their ass. Never told anyone and blocked it outta my mind. Don't want anyone back home knowing about it. A lot of getting completely fucked up as often as possible after that. A year or so after my granpa passed. Started working at the haunted house all my HS years, started smoking when I was 12. Loved the haunted house unconditionally, still do and miss it horribly and my hh family. Was with the guy I got my ex back with for 6 years, cuz I couldn't be with who I wanted...so I just gave up and settled. Did some crazy shit inbetween. My mom's health has gotten worse and would do a lot for her. Did a lot of shit inbetween, went to concerts, met people, ect. My health got worse..my knees started hurting and making fucked up noises went I bend em, headaches became more frequent. Shit like that. Tried the interweb dating shit..one worked, truly fell in love and now I'm in Texas. Was the craziest and hardest shit for me to do. I miss my mom and everyone else back home..including food joints, HH, the hills, trees, woods, ect. I do have a lot of regrets, should have worked harder in HS, made better choices with some things, been nicer to my mom, ect. There's my shitty life in a nutshell even though there's a lot of non-shitty things in it/about it.
thats bullshit...... I wanna hear about first time y00z got buttsechzedz [-(
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blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Wow...whatever. First time I had sex I was 13...probably should have waited a little longer but what's done is done. Never had buttsecks and never thought about it at all. Until my ex, Allen, fucked up and it went in the wrong hole while I was shitfaced. Didn't feel it and don't really remember either. Also..I got cheated on by pretty much everyone I dated that lasted somewhat long. The shortest time I ever dated someone was like 2 days haha. Back in the day I did all the dumping. But all the cheating and lying has left me with some horrible, major trust issues
Wow...whatever. First time I had sex I was 13...probably should have waited a little longer but what's done is done. Never had buttsecks and never thought about it at all. Until my ex, Allen, fucked up and it went in the wrong hole while I was shitfaced. Didn't feel it and don't really remember either. Also..I got cheated on by pretty much everyone I dated that lasted somewhat long. The shortest time I ever dated someone was like 2 days haha. Back in the day I did all the dumping. But all the cheating and lying has left me with some horrible, major trust issues
Comments
quite a funneh tale
I was born in 1991 in a small town West Virginia, blah blah normal kid shit happened scraped knees, arms, etc.. In 2001 i got into a golf cart accident and lacerated my liver, was flown to Fairfax, VA where i spent the week before my birthday in the hospital. Haven't Driven a golf cart since. In 2004 my grandfather had a stroke, was the first time i ever saw my father cry, my grandfather was declared brain dead and kept alive for 2 days after the stroke, me and my dad went to the hospital around 11:30 p.m. and me and my dad watched as they pulled the plug on my grandfather. A bunch of drama happened at his funeral and i havent talked to anyone on my dad's side of the family since then. normal teenager crap. When i was 14 my grandmother bought me Guitar Hero and thats when i started getting into metal. At 15 i went to my first concert which was 3 doors down. At 16 i dropped out of high school and got my GED. At 17 i was at a party and i watched 1 one my best friends overdose and die while fucked up on heroin. At 18 I started college, halfway through the first semester i dropped all of my classes. some more stuff happened. those who were on the official forums last year know the rest. here i am today.
there is a lot more fucked up stuff that has happened in my past but i choose to leave that out.
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)