Post your favorite quotes that someone said something you said or something you overheard today

Brian

I got 99 problems and all of them revolve around oppression because of the color of my skin.

rammstein516

At least a bitch ain't one.

Brian

Forever alone.......at the moment

rammstein516

Forever... but only for a certain amount of time. MIND = BLOWN

Brian

and

Brian

new page

Santana

Today was a free day in 4th and 5th hour, and my teacher brought in Tetris on his playstation 1 for fun, and this guy is a beast at the game.

So while class was going on, I was kicking everybodys ass, and he was standing there watching, and I was trash-talking him, and he was like,

"Tell you what, if I beat you, you have to donate a dollar to a childrens cancer fund."

And then I said: "What have the cancer kids ever done for me?"

Everybody: "omg that was terrible! Wtf will that was mean!"

My teacher: "Remember to say hi to the devil for me when your rotting in hell."

I thought it was fucking hilarious.

So then when I actually got to play him, he took the controller, and he said
"All right, now I'm gonna send you back to whatever cesspool you crawled out of, you devil child!"

:-))

LOL that's awesome. Your response and the teacher's response

When my teacher opened the door today (we're outside in a trailer), she looked down and saw I was wearing shorts

Teacher: you realize it's freezing right?
Me: yeah, i know
Teacher: oh ok, you just wanted to show off those hot, sexy legs of yours huh?
Me: haha (nervous laugh), I just wear shorts all winter

Brian

And then I said: "What have the cancer kids ever done for me?"

OMG LOL

Fuck off.

You're absolutely hilarious, Will. Seriously. I wake up every morning hoping my day could yield a story like that one.

Good lord Will do you ever make actual jokes or are you gonna just keep stretching out stupid ass statements like silly putty to try to scrape out a laugh from people?

Thank you for taking the words outta my mouth.

LOL that's awesome. Your response and the teacher's response

:-))

Santana

:-$

Gazorpazorpfield

*through text message
Friend: I just saw the sweatest thing
Me: Sounds nasty
Friend: It was a bird singing let the bodies hit the flour
Me: nevermind.

Necrothulhu

Hahahaha

sbs_will

Lol

sbs_will

And then I said: "What have the cancer kids ever done for me?"

OMG LOL

Fuck off.

You're absolutely hilarious, Will. Seriously. I wake up every morning hoping my day could yield a story like that one.

Good lord Will do you ever make actual jokes or are you gonna just keep stretching out stupid ass statements like silly putty to try to scrape out a laugh from people?

Thank you for taking the words outta my mouth.

LOL that's awesome. Your response and the teacher's response

:-))

C-C-C-Combo breaker

OPP

You're absolutely hilarious, Will. Seriously. I wake up every morning hoping my day could yield a story like that one.

lol

Jeff

not all today...none actually but all in the last week.

"she's down to suck too, I asked"

"I jizzed and it shot off like a rocket and she screamed"

(about sending a money gram thingy to someone for gas to get laid)"be right back, it's cheaper than geting a whore"


first and third are the same person about the same person.

sbs_will

My Mom: Save some of the ribs for when they come over.
Me: Who's "They"?
My Mom: Mark and his daughter. (My moms really creepy friend and his creepy daughter)
Me: :-|
My Mom: He bought Mcdonalds last night so he could heat it up today for christmas dinner.

*inb4 brian, wine, ed*

OPP

HAHA! POOR PEOPLE!

Oh wait that's not funny.

sbs_will

:P

Mysterious

Thats actually really depressing. And kind ov hilarious.

Brian

Uncle John: Well, I would say that I deserve a few swift kicks in the ass
Aunt Inge: I'll drink to that!
Uncle John: You'll drink to anything.