He said he lost his virginity to a girl named stephanie meyer...we talked about who it could be for a good 5 minutes trying to figure out why we knew her.
This is one of those things that when you type it out, it doesn't sound nearly as funny..so yeah go ahead and not read while I ramble So we've had this running thing in french class we we're mock the "rippin' and the tearin'" guy in class..and the teacher went along with it for awhile before he decided it was best we didn't say it anymore. Then on Tuesday my friend skipped, and decided to skype our teacher at the beginning of class. about 5 minutes in he goes "Mr. Lake, what is l'extraction et la déchirure"
My friend Kurt on the phone a little while ago, talking about this new Girl at school that came from Germany (Of course, I fucking leave school, and a fucking European girl starts. -_- Just my fucking luck.)
"Well she just started, and I'm a man on a mission right now bro. Let's just say she was a dessert....well I want my slice of that CAKE, my bro. With a nice side of fucking whip cream."
drinkwine732Posts: 20,418destroyer of motherfuckers
"I'm really close to writing herpderp on my windshield and parking in a handicap spot." - me, texting my friend while trying to find an impossible spot to park at OU.
"So, I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and I looked in the mirror and saw someone's feet from the stalls. They were twirling like it was a piss symphony. I swear, they stopped moving when whoever it was stopped pissing."
Thanks to my RA, I cannot brush my teeth without thinking of her story now. Hah.
This was back in freshman year. We had a REALLY cool student teacher in history class. On this particular day he was drinking diet mountain dew code red.
Me: Hey, you know diet pop is really bad for you right? Him: Fuck my life.
It wasnt really that funny, but we all cracked up.
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So we've had this running thing in french class we we're mock the "rippin' and the tearin'" guy in class..and the teacher went along with it for awhile before he decided it was best we didn't say it anymore. Then on Tuesday my friend skipped, and decided to skype our teacher at the beginning of class. about 5 minutes in he goes "Mr. Lake, what is l'extraction et la déchirure"
"Well she just started, and I'm a man on a mission right now bro. Let's just say she was a dessert....well I want my slice of that CAKE, my bro. With a nice side of fucking whip cream."
I was laughing so hard.
Rob: "Yeah, this Norwegian kid at school said I have Lynyrd Skynyrd hair"
Me: "That's probably because it looks like a dead guy's hair"
"So, I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and I looked in the mirror and saw someone's feet from the stalls. They were twirling like it was a piss symphony. I swear, they stopped moving when whoever it was stopped pissing."
Thanks to my RA, I cannot brush my teeth without thinking of her story now. Hah.
On this particular day he was drinking diet mountain dew code red.
Me: Hey, you know diet pop is really bad for you right?
Him: Fuck my life.
It wasnt really that funny, but we all cracked up.
My brotha with the win.
I took this small pink bag of M&M's off her dresser, and I was like:
Hey Mom, Im'ma eat these, if ya don't mind.
So she started screaming she was like "NO ASSHOLE THOSE ARE MINE AND I NEVER GET CANDY!".
So at this point, I put my trollface on, I opened the bag very slowly, and I was like "I will eat just one. And one only. *Trollface*"
I slowly put the M&M in my mouth, and said "One M&M in my mouth" gave another smug smile, slowly ate another one, and said "Two M&M in my mouth.".
Then I slowly closed the bag and walked out of the room with my trollface on.