nephew: Barnacles!! me: lol, what? my brother: he got in trouble at school the other day for saying "shit", so I told him to think of something else to say that wont get him in trouble. nephew: everytime Spongebob says "Barnacles" hes mad so its gotta mean "shit". sister in law: 8-|
The day you need a gun and don't have one, may be your last.
drinkwine732Posts: 20,418destroyer of motherfuckers
edited March 2013
>in the middle of a heated discussion during a meeting >in a bar, so other people around >arguing with boss >final countdown starts playing >everyone stops and says this song is awesome >talk about rocky >other movies this song has been in >"wait, what were we arguing about again?"
me: oh yea we set the clocks back Britt: We did? me: yea lmao its 241 Britt: All the clocks changed without me knowing. me: yea...they do it automatically lmao
Cooking Chicken and Steaks outside lastnight. -Dog decides to have some chicken and beer with me. -Dog pukes 15 minutes later.
Wife- Grose!! I wonder why he threw up? Probably the beer. Me- Nah, we drink every time I BBQ. Its bc he's been running around like a maniac bc the neighors chickens are close to the fence. I bet you he eats it here in a minute. Wife- No he wont. Me- yeah he will, hes a dog.
-wife goes inside. -dog eats puke off the ground. -wife come back out side
Me- told you he would. Wife- Eeewww, bad dog! Me- he wants you to smell his breath, its ok I bet it still taste like chicken at least. Wife- Nooo, get away!!!
me: make sure you wear shoes youre not gonna care about getting poop on mom: oh thats bad because i dont have any me: well then put plastic bags over your shoes! idk! mom: yea! thats what ill do! good idea! me: OMG I WAS JOKING! -_-
Comments
big huge titty chick: are you 99 percent sure she is gonna be there?
dumb ass hick chick: Yeah im 90.99 percent sure
me: lol, what?
my brother: he got in trouble at school the other day for saying "shit", so I told him to think of something else to say that wont get him in trouble.
nephew: everytime Spongebob says "Barnacles" hes mad so its gotta mean "shit".
sister in law: 8-|
Edit: Just looked at the post above mine...
WAT
My friend Jake walks out of the room and comes back without his pants (he had shorts on).
Me: What happened to your pants?
Jake: What? *Looks down*. Fucking Chupacabra ate my pants.
>in a bar, so other people around
>arguing with boss
>final countdown starts playing
>everyone stops and says this song is awesome
>talk about rocky
>other movies this song has been in
>"wait, what were we arguing about again?"
Britt: We did?
me: yea lmao
its 241
Britt: All the clocks changed without me knowing.
me: yea...they do it automatically
lmao
-Dog decides to have some chicken and beer with me.
-Dog pukes 15 minutes later.
Wife- Grose!! I wonder why he threw up? Probably the beer.
Me- Nah, we drink every time I BBQ. Its bc he's been running around like a maniac bc the neighors chickens are close to the fence. I bet you he eats it here in a minute.
Wife- No he wont.
Me- yeah he will, hes a dog.
-wife goes inside.
-dog eats puke off the ground.
-wife come back out side
Me- told you he would.
Wife- Eeewww, bad dog!
Me- he wants you to smell his breath, its ok I bet it still taste like chicken at least.
Wife- Nooo, get away!!!
The face only an owner can love.
after eating his own puke...
mom: oh thats bad because i dont have any
me: well then put plastic bags over your shoes! idk!
mom: yea! thats what ill do! good idea!
me: OMG I WAS JOKING! -_-
me: can you just say 'bubblebutt' into the phone and try not to laugh please
Alex: Bubble b***
his damn phone censors the word 'butt' )
My friend when we went to Chipotle which is about a 30 second walk away from Brown University.
Unfortunately, no sightings occurred.