"I talked with Jesus the other night. It went something like this:
Me: Jesus, so let me get this straight, in order to get to heaven, I need to give you my soul?
Jesus: Yes. That's correct.
M: That sounds a little suspicious... Can't I just, keep my soul to myself, and still get into heaven? Like, I find it kinda weird that you would have given me a soul just to take it back.
J: No, you see, if I don't have your soul, then the Devil has your soul.
M: And who's that?
J: He's the leader of hell.
M: Who the fuck made him and gave him that job?
J: Well, Umm, Let's no talk about that.
M: So, you made the devil, and hell, so that if we don't give you our souls, we suffer forever at the hands of your devil?
J: But if you just give me your soul, you'll have nothing to worry about!
M: how about I just, keep my soul. That sounds like a good idea.
J: But then the Devil..
M: Are you trying to say that, by me keeping my soul, the Devil has my soul? Are you saying that I'M the devil? This is some twisted shit Jesus. I have a hard time believing you are really God. I mean, unless you are just THAT sadistic and happen to have the logical prowess of a pregnant engaged 13 year old.
J: HOW DARE YOU!
M: Okay, shouting? Very mature. I'm done with this conversation.
J: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?? WHAT I CAN DO????
M: Yes, and honestly, not impressed. If those are the criteria for respect, then I'll go worship Robert Downey Jr. Now that's an official badass"
Earlier this season Dwight came up to the new guy and was like "I copped two tickets to the Slayer concert in 11 months, you down?" "No I'm busy that night." "I didn't even tell you when it was..."
Only thing I've seen was in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Mac wears a Bleeding Through shirt in one episode, and I know he had a couple other metal band shirts.
Me: "Hook me up with Rachel, dawg." Chyna: "Well she did say that fucking a black guy was on her college checklist." Me: *Throws SnapBack on floor* *Jumps up from chair* "Gametime"
My roommate Saleena: "LIARS!" Me: "What?" Saleena: "They're liars!" Me: "Huh? Saleena: "Those bitches aren't real Christians! Christians aren't supposed to charge other Christians!" Me: "Okay?" Saleena: "That shit should be like a charity! Don't make me pay for that. Should be free!" Me: "You are always entertaining, you know that?" Saleena: "You're a bitch." Me: :-??
Comments
-Some random bitch in the library during study hall
"I talked with Jesus the other night.
It went something like this:
Me: Jesus, so let me get this straight, in order to get to heaven, I need to give you my soul?
Jesus: Yes. That's correct.
M: That sounds a little suspicious... Can't I just, keep my soul to myself, and still get into heaven? Like, I find it kinda weird that you would have given me a soul just to take it back.
J: No, you see, if I don't have your soul, then the Devil has your soul.
M: And who's that?
J: He's the leader of hell.
M: Who the fuck made him and gave him that job?
J: Well, Umm, Let's no talk about that.
M: So, you made the devil, and hell, so that if we don't give you our souls, we suffer forever at the hands of your devil?
J: But if you just give me your soul, you'll have nothing to worry about!
M: how about I just, keep my soul. That sounds like a good idea.
J: But then the Devil..
M: Are you trying to say that, by me keeping my soul, the Devil has my soul? Are you saying that I'M the devil? This is some twisted shit Jesus. I have a hard time believing you are really God. I mean, unless you are just THAT sadistic and happen to have the logical prowess of a pregnant engaged 13 year old.
J: HOW DARE YOU!
M: Okay, shouting? Very mature. I'm done with this conversation.
J: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?? WHAT I CAN DO????
M: Yes, and honestly, not impressed. If those are the criteria for respect, then I'll go worship Robert Downey Jr. Now that's an official badass"
Chyna: "Well she did say that fucking a black guy was on her college checklist."
Me: *Throws SnapBack on floor* *Jumps up from chair* "Gametime"
My roommate Saleena: "LIARS!"
Me: "What?"
Saleena: "They're liars!"
Me: "Huh?
Saleena: "Those bitches aren't real Christians! Christians aren't supposed to charge other Christians!"
Me: "Okay?"
Saleena: "That shit should be like a charity! Don't make me pay for that. Should be free!"
Me: "You are always entertaining, you know that?"
Saleena: "You're a bitch."
Me: :-??