My friends Kristen and Mae came over for nacho night. This is one of the many derpy conversations that ensued.
Me: Kristen, where did you apply for grad school? Kristen: Here and Harvard. Both doing research. Mae: You would not believe that Kristen is convinced of. Me: Go on... Mae: She thinks Harvard is in Maryland. Kristen: It is. Me: Kristen, it's in Massachusetts. Kristen: No it's not. Me: Yes it is. Kristen: Harvard is in Cambridge. Mae: Cambridge is in Massachusetts. Kristen: No. Cambridge is in Maryland. Cambridge, MA. Me: MA is the abbreviation for Massachusetts. Kristen: No, it's not. Mae: Yes it is. Kristen, you were convinced that Boston was in Maryland and the Ohio is near Nevada. Me: Are you serious? How the fuck are you graduating from here? Kristen: Shut up. Harvard is in Maryland. Me: Look it up, dumb shit. Kristen: Fine. I will. Kristen: It's says it's in Cambridge, MA. Me: MA means Massachusetts, Kristen! Mae: Can I hit her? Me: Please. She applied somewhere and she doesn't even know the correct state it's in. Kristen: Oh fuck. You're right. Me: If you get accepted there, Mae and I are holding up signs at graduation "Have fun at Harvard in Maryland." Kristen: Shut the fuck up.
Lol my Mom was a bitch but actually treated my ass.
The Yelawolf show I was 'sposed to go to today was postponed.
Mom: So was that a Comedian you were 'sposed to see today? Me: What the fuck? Why the fuck would I randomly be seeing a Comedian? Mom: Well what is he? Me: A Rapper....... Mom: Oh, so comedy. Me:
Friend: I blew $400 at a strip club back in Texas...but I fell in love with one of them. Me: Really? Friend: Yeah but my friend called me to tell me that he had more money and got to finger blast her.. So that's pretty much a done deal.
i was watching Breakout Kings last night and this line cracked me up. if you know the show then you'll understand why this was so funny:
(erica is in a room and just got done flirting with some guy while lloyd is walking by. he stops, comes back into the doorway realizing what was happening.)
Lloyd says to erica after the guy leaves: Your girl boner is showing.
) )
"That's another thing I love about metal, it's so fuckin' huge yet certain people don't even know it exists." - Rob Zombie
" a cosmic superbeing came down from the sky and immaculatley impregnated a virgin who gave birth to a human ''god-son'' who is his own father. if you give your soul and life to him, you can go to an amazing existence when you die. which happens because a woman was tricked by a talking snake. happy easter you dumb fuckers"
"The government turned Michael Jackson white because they didn't want a nigga selling all those records. How many black people do you see with the disease that Michael had?" "Then the Illuminati killed him because Michael was going to expose them. Do you really believe the story that the news told you?"
Ryan: Are you guys going home this weekend? Me: Why? Ryan: Easter. Kevin: Fuck no. I'm Asian. Ryan: What? You're too yellow for Easter? Kevin: Fucking right. I'm too Asian for that shit. Susan: But...but...the bunnies.
Due to my Insanity nutrition plan, I have to get food a lot more often, and a lot of it is shit no one else in the house eats. So the conversation went like this.
Me: We have to go grocery shopping. Mom: This new eating shit is really driving me insane. Me: .......Insanity....... Mom: You fucking dick. Me:
Friend told me about a video with Phil Anselmo singing with Alice in Chains. He guessed the song was called Wanted, which was wrong...but when I told him what song it was, shit got confusing.
Me: Hey what were you saying the song was? I looked it up and it was Would? Now I know I would've recognized that. Him: Wanted. Me: Ah that's why I didn't get it Him: Was I saying Would? Me: No the song was Would? Him: What the fuck, do you know?
Shit was hilarious today, y'all won't find it funny probably, but nonetheless.
So we're chilling in the studio, me and 2 other Rappers, and we were talking about having to stay enthusiastic and optimistic about Music, 'cause when it starts stressing you out, that's when you start hating it and not wanting to do it anymore, so it was like:
Nick: But man, shit is rough, 'cause you know when you have those writer's blocks or just can't make anything dope? Or even when you work hard on a dope song, and no one gives it any attention? I'll just sit there like *Puts face in hands.*, "What the FUCK am I doing with my life? I'm a useless piece of shit. I waste all this time locked in the basement writing all day.". Then we stared at eachother for a second and we all lost it, we were like "REAL FUCKING TALK.". And then Zip was like: But then it's the complete opposite when you make a track that you know is too dope, and you just like "Bitch, I'm a fucking boss, fuck you mean.", like, no one can say shit.
Shit was just funny as Hell, for me. Was more of a "Had to be there" type of thing, 'cause I think that's how every aspiring Rapper gets, but it's nice and a relief to know you ain't the only one and to sit there and laugh about it later on, 'cause it really fucks with me sometimes and makes me seriously depressed.
Comments
Me: Kristen, where did you apply for grad school?
Kristen: Here and Harvard. Both doing research.
Mae: You would not believe that Kristen is convinced of.
Me: Go on...
Mae: She thinks Harvard is in Maryland.
Kristen: It is.
Me: Kristen, it's in Massachusetts.
Kristen: No it's not.
Me: Yes it is.
Kristen: Harvard is in Cambridge.
Mae: Cambridge is in Massachusetts.
Kristen: No. Cambridge is in Maryland. Cambridge, MA.
Me: MA is the abbreviation for Massachusetts.
Kristen: No, it's not.
Mae: Yes it is. Kristen, you were convinced that Boston was in Maryland and the Ohio is near Nevada.
Me: Are you serious? How the fuck are you graduating from here?
Kristen: Shut up. Harvard is in Maryland.
Me: Look it up, dumb shit.
Kristen: Fine. I will.
Kristen: It's says it's in Cambridge, MA.
Me: MA means Massachusetts, Kristen!
Mae: Can I hit her?
Me: Please. She applied somewhere and she doesn't even know the correct state it's in.
Kristen: Oh fuck. You're right.
Me: If you get accepted there, Mae and I are holding up signs at graduation "Have fun at Harvard in Maryland."
Kristen: Shut the fuck up.
The Yelawolf show I was 'sposed to go to today was postponed.
Mom: So was that a Comedian you were 'sposed to see today?
Me: What the fuck? Why the fuck would I randomly be seeing a Comedian?
Mom: Well what is he?
Me: A Rapper.......
Mom: Oh, so comedy.
Me:
Me: Really?
Friend: Yeah but my friend called me to tell me that he had more money and got to finger blast her.. So that's pretty much a done deal.
(erica is in a room and just got done flirting with some guy while lloyd is walking by. he stops, comes back into the doorway realizing what was happening.)
Lloyd says to erica after the guy leaves: Your girl boner is showing.
-My friend Jon
Seacrest: Randy, what kind of advice do you have for people voting.
Randy: Well.. At this point.. I'd say vote for you who think should win.
All from my coworker ~
Ryan: Are you guys going home this weekend?
Me: Why?
Ryan: Easter.
Kevin: Fuck no. I'm Asian.
Ryan: What? You're too yellow for Easter?
Kevin: Fucking right. I'm too Asian for that shit.
Susan: But...but...the bunnies.
Me: We have to go grocery shopping.
Mom: This new eating shit is really driving me insane.
Me: .......Insanity.......
Mom:
Me:
* bugger me!
* do you mind if I bum a fag?
* can I push in your stool?
Me: Hey what were you saying the song was? I looked it up and it was Would? Now I know I would've recognized that.
Him: Wanted.
Me: Ah that's why I didn't get it
Him: Was I saying Would?
Me: No the song was Would?
Him: What the fuck, do you know?
So we're chilling in the studio, me and 2 other Rappers, and we were talking about having to stay enthusiastic and optimistic about Music, 'cause when it starts stressing you out, that's when you start hating it and not wanting to do it anymore, so it was like:
Nick: But man, shit is rough, 'cause you know when you have those writer's blocks or just can't make anything dope? Or even when you work hard on a dope song, and no one gives it any attention? I'll just sit there like *Puts face in hands.*, "What the FUCK am I doing with my life? I'm a useless piece of shit. I waste all this time locked in the basement writing all day.".
Then we stared at eachother for a second and we all lost it, we were like "REAL FUCKING TALK.".
And then Zip was like: But then it's the complete opposite when you make a track that you know is too dope, and you just like "Bitch, I'm a fucking boss, fuck you mean.", like, no one can say shit.
Shit was just funny as Hell, for me. Was more of a "Had to be there" type of thing, 'cause I think that's how every aspiring Rapper gets, but it's nice and a relief to know you ain't the only one and to sit there and laugh about it later on, 'cause it really fucks with me sometimes and makes me seriously depressed.