She says "Could you take your glasses off? I feel like I'm having sex with my professor." and I said "Yeah, well if I take my glasses off I'll feel like I'm fucking an impressionist painting."
"Wait. So he's allowed to fuck Chris' girl, but he gets pissed when his ex fucks around?" Me: Yeah, pretty much. My friend: That is such a fucking double standard! Fucking Teenagers! Me: HOW DO THEY WORK? My friend: They don't.
The other day me and my friends were chillin in the parking of our school and we got told that these two kids we know were gonna fight. So, we decided to wait around and watch. Well, the first kid was there waiting for like 15 minute for the second kid to drive back to school because he didn't know they were fighting until someone called him and said, "Hey man, greasy is waiting here in the parking lot to fight you." So, he gets there and this is what happens:
Griffin: *gets outta car* Yo man what's up! Greasy: Nothin. Griffin: You said you wanted to fight? Here I am man. Greasy: Ok, so hit me. Griffin: What? I'm not throwing first punch. Greasy, you said you wanted to fight. Greasy: Don't fuckin call me Greasy. Me: I'VE HAD SHITS MORE VIOLENT THAN THIS!
Then I left, and my buddy told me later that Griffin just ended up leaving.
On my birthday, some of my friends in gym were playing a game of b-ball, and I was of course paying attention and trying sthuper hard. Someone passes the ball to me, so I just lazily take a shot without thinking and it goes in, and I'm just like FUCK YOUR COUCH, NIGGER
TUPAC IS DEAD/THE LEGEND IS GONE/THEY SAYIN TUPAC'S BACK?/DEM NIGGAS WRONG
drinkwine732Posts: 20,418destroyer of motherfuckers
On my birthday, some of my friends in gym were playing a game of b-ball, and I was of course paying attention and trying sthuper hard. Someone passes the ball to me, so I just lazily take a shot without thinking and it goes in, and I'm just like FUCK YOUR COUCH, NIGGER
Knowing the legendary status of your voice, I imagine this situation passing as if you are Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks.
On my birthday, some of my friends in gym were playing a game of b-ball, and I was of course paying attention and trying sthuper hard. Someone passes the ball to me, so I just lazily take a shot without thinking and it goes in, and I'm just like FUCK YOUR COUCH, NIGGER
Knowing the legendary status of your voice, I imagine this situation passing as if you are Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks.
My voice is actually lower now
TUPAC IS DEAD/THE LEGEND IS GONE/THEY SAYIN TUPAC'S BACK?/DEM NIGGAS WRONG
We were in gym today, and I was talking to my friend Danny. All of a sudden this one hot chick walks past, and he loudly says "I don't know what it is about blonde, tan, and sexy chicks but I just want to stick my penis in there. I JUST DO." The girl and her friends were about 2 feet away from us and were staring as they walked away. I'm not sure if I've ever laughed harder.
TUPAC IS DEAD/THE LEGEND IS GONE/THEY SAYIN TUPAC'S BACK?/DEM NIGGAS WRONG
friend Chris: holy shit dude me: huh? friend Chris: Mayhem's vocals me: Is that a good 'holy shit dude' or a bad 'holy shit dude'? friend Chris: I don't really know yet, it's like if Dave Mustaine stopped fucking around and REALLY tried to push out his shit.
friend Chris: holy shit dude me: huh? friend Chris: Mayhem's vocals me: Is that a good 'holy shit dude' or a bad 'holy shit dude'? friend Chris: I don't really know yet, it's like if Dave Mustaine stopped fucking around and REALLY tried to push out his shit.
:-))
I assume he's referring to Attila?
TUPAC IS DEAD/THE LEGEND IS GONE/THEY SAYIN TUPAC'S BACK?/DEM NIGGAS WRONG
Comments
:-)) :-))
Louis Katz
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
My friend: That is such a fucking double standard! Fucking Teenagers!
Me: HOW DO THEY WORK?
My friend: They don't.
Another guy was with us and he says "No way dude, that sounds like a gay astronaut"
Griffin: *gets outta car* Yo man what's up!
Greasy: Nothin.
Griffin: You said you wanted to fight? Here I am man.
Greasy: Ok, so hit me.
Griffin: What? I'm not throwing first punch. Greasy, you said you wanted to fight.
Greasy: Don't fuckin call me Greasy.
Me: I'VE HAD SHITS MORE VIOLENT THAN THIS!
Then I left, and my buddy told me later that Griffin just ended up leaving.
Me: I didn't know you liked bugs so much
Me: See, now you've finally had a taste of Arizona.
Bianca: Oh I've already had a taste of Arizona
Me:
In that exact order.
me: huh?
friend Chris: Mayhem's vocals
me: Is that a good 'holy shit dude' or a bad 'holy shit dude'?
friend Chris: I don't really know yet, it's like if Dave Mustaine stopped fucking around and REALLY tried to push out his shit.
:-))