I fucking hate family drama. My mom is a fucking cunt and probably the most selfish person i've ever met. Instead of feed in to the bullshit i ceased all contact with her.
The only time i see her is at family gatherings, and since she fed my family members her sob story about the situation they all try and guilt trip me into talking to her. "She's your mom"
i fucking hate that more than anything. Shitty people have children too. I dont owe some lifelong duty to put up with her shit. If it were a cousin or aunt or something no one would bat an eye.
I fucking hate family drama. My mom is a fucking cunt and probably the most selfish person i've ever met. Instead of feed in to the bullshit i ceased all contact with her.
The only time i see her is at family gatherings, and since she fed my family members her sob story about the situation they all try and guilt trip me into talking to her. "She's your mom"
i fucking hate that more than anything. Shitty people have children too. I dont owe some lifelong duty to put up with her shit. If it were a cousin or aunt or something no one would bat an eye.
Fuck em. Being family doesn't mean you have to let others drag you down with their bullshit. Some families can be like crabs in a bucket sometimes.
You have 0 obligations to anybody who would rather tear you down than lift you up.
So the person I'm with is, pretty much, a high functioning alcoholic. I can usually contain all of that as long as his mind doesn't run rampant and his emotions don't go everywhere. Because when they do he drinks more 9 times out of 10. Well Wednesday night all through Thursday, that's what happened. I'm not even sure how to be honest. But after so long down that path he doesn't listen to me at all. He increasingly kept pissing me off throughout the night and caused me to not give a fuck what he did as long as he didn't wake my dad up. I punched him in the face a few times, chest once and put him in a choke hold after he punched the floor 2-3 times. Cuz my initial thought was, "fucking great...doesn't fucking listen and now he's gonna wake dad up..I don't wanna deal with that at all." Dad didn't wake up thank Odin. He didn't crash until sometime passed 5 am. Subsequently I just slept on the floor.
Woke up, had a monster and a smoke. Took a shower thinking today will be a fuck ton smoother like it usually is after he falls off the beaten path. But nah, not this time. I kept trying to contain his crazy ass but after a while I can't do anything about stumbling into things and being obnoxious. He's got shitty enough balance when sober so when he's drunk/trashed it's worse lol. And a 5'3 105 lb chick trying to keep a 6'3/4 240 (?) Lb dude balanced doesn't work very well anyway. So he managed to piss me off enough to where I stopped giving a fuck again. I even said some fucked up shit to him in front of my parents which prompted backlash on me.
So everything caused my parents to have a long discussion with him while I sat in the garage trying not to kill anyone and be away from all human contact for a while. By the end of the night last night (around 10 or so) everything was fine. Made him food and he went to sleep. Which was perfect timing because he had to go to work at 11 this morning. All in all he had 1 and a half bottles, maybe a little over, of 1.75 liters of vodka in 24-25 hours. Which is waaay more than usual. Normally one bottle of that will last 3-5 days.
So the person I'm with is, pretty much, a high functioning alcoholic. I can usually contain all of that as long as his mind doesn't run rampant and his emotions don't go everywhere. Because when they do he drinks more 9 times out of 10. Well Wednesday night all through Thursday, that's what happened. I'm not even sure how to be honest. But after so long down that path he doesn't listen to me at all. He increasingly kept pissing me off throughout the night and caused me to not give a fuck what he did as long as he didn't wake my dad up. I punched him in the face a few times, chest once and put him in a choke hold after he punched the floor 2-3 times. Cuz my initial thought was, "fucking great...doesn't fucking listen and now he's gonna wake dad up..I don't wanna deal with that at all." Dad didn't wake up thank Odin. He didn't crash until sometime passed 5 am. Subsequently I just slept on the floor.
Woke up, had a monster and a smoke. Took a shower thinking today will be a fuck ton smoother like it usually is after he falls off the beaten path. But nah, not this time. I kept trying to contain his crazy ass but after a while I can't do anything about stumbling into things and being obnoxious. He's got shitty enough balance when sober so when he's drunk/trashed it's worse lol. And a 5'3 105 lb chick trying to keep a 6'3/4 240 (?) Lb dude balanced doesn't work very well anyway. So he managed to piss me off enough to where I stopped giving a fuck again. I even said some fucked up shit to him in front of my parents which prompted backlash on me.
So everything caused my parents to have a long discussion with him while I sat in the garage trying not to kill anyone and be away from all human contact for a while. By the end of the night last night (around 10 or so) everything was fine. Made him food and he went to sleep. Which was perfect timing because he had to go to work at 11 this morning. All in all he had 1 and a half bottles, maybe a little over, of 1.75 liters of vodka in 24-25 hours. Which is waaay more than usual. Normally one bottle of that will last 3-5 days.
So yeah, fuck the last two days
So are you getting out of this relationship? Im not exactly sure why you'd want to be in a relationship with someone who is more in love* with their substance abuse. The way you wrote this story, your "im fine" was not a result of any positive changes but a result of you cooling down and then going back into the mother-child relationship where you make him his dinner and put him to bed.
* - Yes that part was a little harsh, but I don't believe you can have any sort of relationship with someone who has substance addiction problems. People with big drug or alcohol problems arent present enough in a relationship (or even their own life) to be a contributor to the relationship. If a relationship is one sided, that aint going to work.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
edited June 2015
and look, im not pretending to know anything about your relationship or why you choose to be with him. I understand what you wrote there is probably just venting and might not be nearly as bad as the words seem to be. Still, I personally am a little put off by the immaturity of guys in general, and it amazes me that there are so many out there that are grown adults and can't even take care of themselves. If they can't take care of themselves, why would any woman want to carry that baggage.
There's a shitload more to it than that. That's just surface and he can quit anytime, I've seen it happen a few times. Problem is he isn't good with emotions and has a lot of internal demons he has to work on. Not to mention he always thinks he can handle not drinking, then having a little which doesn't work. I know what needs to happen and so does he. Alcohol isn't the source of the issue at hand, it's what is going on inside. We've had long discussions about all of this and he's working on quitting and tackling the real issue which causes him to drink. I'm not going to quit on him, I'm going to be here with him through it even though it isn't going to be easy for either of us. It's just the last two days he managed to set me over.
He can take care of himself pretty well considering he normally goes through a bottle every 3-5 days. It doesn't interfere with work or anything he is required to do to make a living. It's when he's not busy and left in his own thoughts that causes shit to get cray. He has a lot of learning to do and that's fine with me. And I didn't tuck him in and make him food like a mom would lmao. He was already laying in bed watching Mortal Kombat and I didn't want him getting up to make anything cuz he was still drunk.
People like my parents thinks he needs it and if he doesn't have it he'll flip out or do whatever he can to have another shot or another beer. And if he quits he'll go through withdrawal, but that doesn't happen. I knew how he was before we even started dating and how his mind worked. It's not going to be easy but we're going to work through it together.
Comments
The only time i see her is at family gatherings, and since she fed my family members her sob story about the situation they all try and guilt trip me into talking to her. "She's your mom"
i fucking hate that more than anything. Shitty people have children too. I dont owe some lifelong duty to put up with her shit. If it were a cousin or aunt or something no one would bat an eye.
Fuck em. Being family doesn't mean you have to let others drag you down with their bullshit. Some families can be like crabs in a bucket sometimes.
You have 0 obligations to anybody who would rather tear you down than lift you up.
So the person I'm with is, pretty much, a high functioning alcoholic. I can usually contain all of that as long as his mind doesn't run rampant and his emotions don't go everywhere. Because when they do he drinks more 9 times out of 10. Well Wednesday night all through Thursday, that's what happened. I'm not even sure how to be honest. But after so long down that path he doesn't listen to me at all. He increasingly kept pissing me off throughout the night and caused me to not give a fuck what he did as long as he didn't wake my dad up. I punched him in the face a few times, chest once and put him in a choke hold after he punched the floor 2-3 times. Cuz my initial thought was, "fucking great...doesn't fucking listen and now he's gonna wake dad up..I don't wanna deal with that at all." Dad didn't wake up thank Odin. He didn't crash until sometime passed 5 am. Subsequently I just slept on the floor.
Woke up, had a monster and a smoke. Took a shower thinking today will be a fuck ton smoother like it usually is after he falls off the beaten path. But nah, not this time. I kept trying to contain his crazy ass but after a while I can't do anything about stumbling into things and being obnoxious. He's got shitty enough balance when sober so when he's drunk/trashed it's worse lol. And a 5'3 105 lb chick trying to keep a 6'3/4 240 (?) Lb dude balanced doesn't work very well anyway. So he managed to piss me off enough to where I stopped giving a fuck again. I even said some fucked up shit to him in front of my parents which prompted backlash on me.
So everything caused my parents to have a long discussion with him while I sat in the garage trying not to kill anyone and be away from all human contact for a while. By the end of the night last night (around 10 or so) everything was fine. Made him food and he went to sleep. Which was perfect timing because he had to go to work at 11 this morning. All in all he had 1 and a half bottles, maybe a little over, of 1.75 liters of vodka in 24-25 hours. Which is waaay more than usual. Normally one bottle of that will last 3-5 days.
So yeah, fuck the last two days
* - Yes that part was a little harsh, but I don't believe you can have any sort of relationship with someone who has substance addiction problems. People with big drug or alcohol problems arent present enough in a relationship (or even their own life) to be a contributor to the relationship. If a relationship is one sided, that aint going to work.
Why do you put up with that?
He can take care of himself pretty well considering he normally goes through a bottle every 3-5 days. It doesn't interfere with work or anything he is required to do to make a living. It's when he's not busy and left in his own thoughts that causes shit to get cray. He has a lot of learning to do and that's fine with me. And I didn't tuck him in and make him food like a mom would lmao. He was already laying in bed watching Mortal Kombat and I didn't want him getting up to make anything cuz he was still drunk.
People like my parents thinks he needs it and if he doesn't have it he'll flip out or do whatever he can to have another shot or another beer. And if he quits he'll go through withdrawal, but that doesn't happen. I knew how he was before we even started dating and how his mind worked. It's not going to be easy but we're going to work through it together.