Its not like it lacks any new things to complain about. You can bitch all day if you want to, and I'm sure we will. There was awesome shit, cool shit, boring shit, pointless shit and some really stupid shit. In other words, it was Star Wars.
I'm conflicted with how I want to rate it. Once the initial buzz of new Star Wars started to wear off there are things that are dragging it down from where I would have rated it last night.
I thought i would be good on twitter because i dont follow anyone who do really wver mentions star wars. I followed colby covington (ufc fighter) cause he made me laugh a week or two ago.
Well the fucking asshole is trying to generate buzz for himself and he spoiled the movie.
I dont care that much. Its a bit disappointing but its whatever lol. Still a total fag move doe.
FUCK THIS FUCKING MOVIE! I am legit irate right now. I'm shocked and surprised by how furious this film has made me. I hated it. Every fiber of my being hated this peice of shit.
For one, the main plot point was clunky and slow. It was literally hours of fuckers going "hey take that ship down," then "can't yet shield is up" and finally "hey someone check the fuel gauge." It was inconsistent and boring. No excitement, no energy at all.
And we come to our first atrocity. That scene when Leia was blasted from the deck and went into a goddamn SPACE COMA then fucking force pulled herself back into the ship ) dear Christ I literally shouted "FUCK YOU, MOVIE" and was shushed by movie goers. That was ridiculous. When has she ever been a physical force user? When ever? Yes, she's had a connection to the force but it's always been more of a mental thing. If she was going to randomly be able to use the force, it should have been established in Force Awakens at least a little bit. Fuck.
Fuck the Casino scene. You can go shit, shave, smoke a cigarette and come back and not miss a damn thing. Why does this nearly three hour movie have time for this shit? Why is Luke drinking some water elephants semen?
Ya know what I found hilarious. People complain about Jar Jar. And rightfully so. Fuck Jar Jar. BUT AT LEAST THERE WAS ONLY ONE OF HIM. There are like fifty Jar Jars in this movie. The amount of stupid obnoxious cutesy bullshit in this movie made me miss goddamn Jar Jar. Nothing should ever make anyone miss Jar Jar. Penguins, Ice dogs, Water elephants with edible semen, discount ton tons, BB-8.
And while we're here, everything in this movie was a fucking punchline. I felt like I was watching a comedy. And fuck BB-8 while we're at it. Let's just re-label him to BB-Ex Machina. Literally, Everytime Finn and whatever the fuck her name was were in trouble BB-8 swoops in out of no where and saves the day. And people complained about all the shit R2 did in the prequels? This fucking Droid was operating a walker. One time? Fine. Literally every time? Fuck that. Jesus, Disney really really wanted you to know BB-Faggot exists in toy form, huh?
And again this movie just rehashes old shit. Dagobah especially. The fact that Kylo came to be who he is because of a misunderstanding that we see in flash back form like six different times was annoying as hell also.
Finally, Snoke. I was really enjoying Snoke. And then they killed him. He went out like a punk ass bitch. How did he not sense that? You can't Power scale him like a God and a noob in the same scene. Oh, Captain Phasma appears to extract her Vengence and pay off her story arc but oh wait buy the time you read this sentence she's fucking dead too. Why even have her? Oh, it's so BB-Ex Machina can save the day in ridiculous fashion. Did you guys know he's available in Toy Form!!!? This movie dumped it's bad guys so quick, it was ridiculous. Kylo Ren's rise to power didn't even feel earned. After all that damn Snoke hype.
The scene with Yoda. That made my dick hard. No complaints.
And lastly, the finale. It was cool. It's a shame you have to sit through a clunky, boring almost two hours to get here. Luke is just an all around bad ass. That part especially when they opened fire. Beautiful.
All in all fuck this fucking movie. I can't believe how infuriated I am. I'm legit furious. Every main Star Wars entry> Rogue One> The shitty theatrical CGI Clone Wars mess> fuck why does the Holiday Special sound good to me right now? 3/10 at absolute most. One point for every scene I enjoyed and that's still a point to many. Fuck you, movie.
Kylo Ren is not main villain material. I give 0 fucks about him or his motives. Movie was a complete waste of time and I'm mad they robbed me of my money. Hopefully JJ can bring shit back on track with the next one.
Thing that pissed me off the most was Luke going after Kylo because he was scared he might be like his father... you know the guy he redeemed at the end. Luke Skywalker wouldn't kill anything unless he had to in self defense. Jabba's whole crew got warned first, he wouldn't even kill Vader or the Emperor, yet he's gonna try to kill Kylo in his sleep? #NotMyLuke
You know what would have been great? Luke getting his Rouge One Vader moment vs the oncoming attack force. Legends of Luke Skywalker says he pulled a star destroyer from orbit with the force. Surely those walkers are fucked after that barrage of fire. Nope. Grumpy Luke never even left the island, and now he's a ghost because he got tired.
Force powers for Leia? Sure why not. Makes sense, been waiting years for it... just not like that. What a great and touching way it would have been for them to give her an ending after the fact, and give more importance to Holdo's (purple hair lady) character... but nope.
It wasn't so bad now. It's Star Wars, you almost have to expect it to be half terrible. I LOVED how unpredictable it was, even if I didn't like where it went all the time. I never expected it to be about running out of space gas )
That leap though... holy shit.
R2 was always the hero in every star Wars movie. Makes sense that BB8 gets to fill that roll (lol) now. The new scrappy droid hero of the new trilogy. Overdone sure, but droids have operated all kinds of shit throughout the series, usually they just plug in and autopilot though. The mechanical operation is what looked goofy to me.
The second act of a trilogy is tough to judge until you see the third. Lots of people hated Empire at the time as well. Now its the most loved movie. The resistance is in a tougher spot than ever. Everyone hated TFA being such a rip off of ANH, and now Jimmie's were rustled at the 180 turn from the Emperor and Apprentice dynamic from Empire.
The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is great. Can't wait to see the throne room scenes again. And the Battle of Crait looked awesome. The Yoda speech about failure that is basically the theme of the movie was great. Lots of character growth for Poe.
Comments
Well the fucking asshole is trying to generate buzz for himself and he spoiled the movie.
I dont care that much. Its a bit disappointing but its whatever lol. Still a total fag move doe.
FUCK THIS FUCKING MOVIE! I am legit irate right now. I'm shocked and surprised by how furious this film has made me. I hated it. Every fiber of my being hated this peice of shit.
For one, the main plot point was clunky and slow. It was literally hours of fuckers going "hey take that ship down," then "can't yet shield is up" and finally "hey someone check the fuel gauge." It was inconsistent and boring. No excitement, no energy at all.
And we come to our first atrocity. That scene when Leia was blasted from the deck and went into a goddamn SPACE COMA then fucking force pulled herself back into the ship
Fuck the Casino scene. You can go shit, shave, smoke a cigarette and come back and not miss a damn thing. Why does this nearly three hour movie have time for this shit? Why is Luke drinking some water elephants semen?
Ya know what I found hilarious. People complain about Jar Jar. And rightfully so. Fuck Jar Jar. BUT AT LEAST THERE WAS ONLY ONE OF HIM. There are like fifty Jar Jars in this movie. The amount of stupid obnoxious cutesy bullshit in this movie made me miss goddamn Jar Jar. Nothing should ever make anyone miss Jar Jar. Penguins, Ice dogs, Water elephants with edible semen, discount ton tons, BB-8.
And while we're here, everything in this movie was a fucking punchline. I felt like I was watching a comedy. And fuck BB-8 while we're at it. Let's just re-label him to BB-Ex Machina. Literally, Everytime Finn and whatever the fuck her name was were in trouble BB-8 swoops in out of no where and saves the day. And people complained about all the shit R2 did in the prequels? This fucking Droid was operating a walker. One time? Fine. Literally every time? Fuck that. Jesus, Disney really really wanted you to know BB-Faggot exists in toy form, huh?
And again this movie just rehashes old shit. Dagobah especially. The fact that Kylo came to be who he is because of a misunderstanding that we see in flash back form like six different times was annoying as hell also.
Finally, Snoke. I was really enjoying Snoke. And then they killed him. He went out like a punk ass bitch. How did he not sense that? You can't Power scale him like a God and a noob in the same scene. Oh, Captain Phasma appears to extract her Vengence and pay off her story arc but oh wait buy the time you read this sentence she's fucking dead too. Why even have her? Oh, it's so BB-Ex Machina can save the day in ridiculous fashion. Did you guys know he's available in Toy Form!!!? This movie dumped it's bad guys so quick, it was ridiculous. Kylo Ren's rise to power didn't even feel earned. After all that damn Snoke hype.
The scene with Yoda. That made my dick hard. No complaints.
And lastly, the finale. It was cool. It's a shame you have to sit through a clunky, boring almost two hours to get here. Luke is just an all around bad ass. That part especially when they opened fire. Beautiful.
All in all fuck this fucking movie. I can't believe how infuriated I am. I'm legit furious. Every main Star Wars entry> Rogue One> The shitty theatrical CGI Clone Wars mess> fuck why does the Holiday Special sound good to me right now? 3/10 at absolute most. One point for every scene I enjoyed and that's still a point to many. Fuck you, movie.
You know what would have been great? Luke getting his Rouge One Vader moment vs the oncoming attack force. Legends of Luke Skywalker says he pulled a star destroyer from orbit with the force. Surely those walkers are fucked after that barrage of fire. Nope. Grumpy Luke never even left the island, and now he's a ghost because he got tired.
Force powers for Leia? Sure why not. Makes sense, been waiting years for it... just not like that. What a great and touching way it would have been for them to give her an ending after the fact, and give more importance to Holdo's (purple hair lady) character... but nope.
That leap though... holy shit.
R2 was always the hero in every star Wars movie. Makes sense that BB8 gets to fill that roll (lol) now. The new scrappy droid hero of the new trilogy. Overdone sure, but droids have operated all kinds of shit throughout the series, usually they just plug in and autopilot though. The mechanical operation is what looked goofy to me.
The second act of a trilogy is tough to judge until you see the third. Lots of people hated Empire at the time as well. Now its the most loved movie. The resistance is in a tougher spot than ever. Everyone hated TFA being such a rip off of ANH, and now Jimmie's were rustled at the 180 turn from the Emperor and Apprentice dynamic from Empire.
The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is great. Can't wait to see the throne room scenes again. And the Battle of Crait looked awesome. The Yoda speech about failure that is basically the theme of the movie was great. Lots of character growth for Poe.