The 12 year old that did that lived 10 minutes down the road from my parents. It's cast a pall on the entire area. People out there are simple. It's already crazy enough that someone would kill themselves so young, but having the live stream part on top of it is overwhelming. It didn't help that a 6 year old girl was beaten to death by her moms boyfriend just a couple of weeks before
I don't think anyone thinks it should be easy on you. It's more people want you to work on it instead of giving up. You kinda overthink things a lot and make grand assumptions about things that come off as naive because you're lacking in social experience. Honestly I think you are too quick to label people and put them into a box and allow that label to guide how you react to them. Most of the time, people just aren't that simple. I feel for you. When I was younger, it was my anger that distanced people from me and hampered my relationships. I came to a breaking point when I got locked up the first time at 27 and had to take a long hard look in the mirror and properly evaluate myself. I forced myself to be more easy going about stuff and just stay away from the things that (ahem) triggered my anger. My life isn't all wine and roses now, but it's better than it was at 22-26. Once I kinda swallowed the bitter pill and accepted that life wasn't perfect and that most of my dreams prolly wouldn't come true, I learned to relax and appreciate life more. Some people will feel that's defeatist, but it was giving me a ton of anxiety to think of how much I hadn't done with my life. Ambition can be a curse sometimes. Putting deadlines on things like when you should be "making it" in your career or settling down with someone can drive you crazy. I went through the same period of my friends all settling down and having kids and it was lonely and isolating, but it also allowed me time to be myself as an adult with money in a way my friends didn't have because they gave themselves responsibilities before I did. My 20 year high school reunion is coming up. There are a few people I went to school with that are grandparents now. I'm happy as hell that ain't me. There will be a day later in life when you're bogged down in bills and responsibilities and you'll think back on this moment and appreciate it more. You never know, you could die tomorrow. Might as well loosen up and enjoy yourself
Life just fucking sucks man. Im sick of always failing. Sick of everything going at snails pace. And sick of always feeling behind where my friends are in life.
Being the retarded talentless loser type my whole life is really starting to take its toll on me. Realizing that Im not even good at what Im good at, and Im even worse at what Im bad at.
Ive been single so long I feel nothing when it comes to the prospect of meeting women or dating anymore. No excitement. No angst. No nervousness. No hope. Nothing. And that feeling of nothingness is leaking into every facet of my life. Its hard for me to feel excited about waking up now a days. The empty feeling sucks.
Ive accepted my dreams probably wont come true long ago. And its resulted in having no drive, and no ambition. I used to try to power through things, and accept the failure. But im so sick of the failure now I dont even like trying anymore.
And nothing have I failed at more than relationships. I dont like trying at them, because I know deep down its doomed for failure (due to the reasons listed in my last post).
Im getting older. My peers are getting older. And my window of opportunity is getting smaller. Every year. Soon there wont be any opportunity.
You need to embrace 3 things
First: It can always be worse. You could be starving. Living under bridges. Dying of cancer. Addicted to something so bad you steal or prostitute yourself. I've known people like this. It sucks that life doesn't play out to plan, but it doesn't suck as much as something like having your face burned off in a fire or having a child with severe physical deformities. I've known people like that, too. I made me respect what I have. Hell, being around my 83 year old grandfather does that. I'm so stoked that my hips aren't failing like his are and that I can walk to a car without aid.
Second: You will die. My cousin passed from Lieukemia at 2. My uncle died at 20 in a car accident. He wasn't even driving. My best friend died of a heat stroke at 37 last year. Time is short. Nobody is guaranteed anything. Might as well just do as much as you can to enjoy it. I like the Fight Club/Project Mayhem "What's one thing you want to do before you die?" or the idea of a bucket list. I choose smaller things like parasailing or completing some music. It's fairly important for me to have one of my scripts made into a feature film, but since I can't really accomplish this without the help of others, I leave it further down the list. I try to focus on the things I can do without others. Breaking life down into smaller tasks also helps. Step 1 clean up, step 2 eat better, step 3 exercise more, etc. The more you take care of all the little shit in your life, the easier the bigger tasks will be attainable
Third: Avoid drama. The less you worry about and/or involve yourself in the affairs of others, the happier you will be. All this worrying about shit you see online gets you nowhere. I know there's a such thing as fighting the good fight, but when you realize that the machine you're raging against is nothing but a bunch of other miserable people, you start to see a pattern. Misery loves company. Spirit vampires are everywhere. Focus on things that make you happy, at least until you are happy. It's easier to influence others when you're positive about things anyway. When you're like "This could be awesome!", it effects people in a much more positive way than "This is all fucked!". I struggle with this as well, but that doesn't make it not true. Bottom line though, is: Focus on what makes you happy and avoid the misery others inflict on you
I don't think anyone thinks it should be easy on you. It's more people want you to work on it instead of giving up. You kinda overthink things a lot and make grand assumptions about things that come off as naive because you're lacking in social experience. Honestly I think you are too quick to label people and put them into a box and allow that label to guide how you react to them. Most of the time, people just aren't that simple. I feel for you. When I was younger, it was my anger that distanced people from me and hampered my relationships. I came to a breaking point when I got locked up the first time at 27 and had to take a long hard look in the mirror and properly evaluate myself. I forced myself to be more easy going about stuff and just stay away from the things that (ahem) triggered my anger. My life isn't all wine and roses now, but it's better than it was at 22-26. Once I kinda swallowed the bitter pill and accepted that life wasn't perfect and that most of my dreams prolly wouldn't come true, I learned to relax and appreciate life more. Some people will feel that's defeatist, but it was giving me a ton of anxiety to think of how much I hadn't done with my life. Ambition can be a curse sometimes. Putting deadlines on things like when you should be "making it" in your career or settling down with someone can drive you crazy. I went through the same period of my friends all settling down and having kids and it was lonely and isolating, but it also allowed me time to be myself as an adult with money in a way my friends didn't have because they gave themselves responsibilities before I did. My 20 year high school reunion is coming up. There are a few people I went to school with that are grandparents now. I'm happy as hell that ain't me. There will be a day later in life when you're bogged down in bills and responsibilities and you'll think back on this moment and appreciate it more. You never know, you could die tomorrow. Might as well loosen up and enjoy yourself
Life just fucking sucks man. Im sick of always failing. Sick of everything going at snails pace. And sick of always feeling behind where my friends are in life.
Being the retarded talentless loser type my whole life is really starting to take its toll on me. Realizing that Im not even good at what Im good at, and Im even worse at what Im bad at.
Ive been single so long I feel nothing when it comes to the prospect of meeting women or dating anymore. No excitement. No angst. No nervousness. No hope. Nothing. And that feeling of nothingness is leaking into every facet of my life. Its hard for me to feel excited about waking up now a days. The empty feeling sucks.
Ive accepted my dreams probably wont come true long ago. And its resulted in having no drive, and no ambition. I used to try to power through things, and accept the failure. But im so sick of the failure now I dont even like trying anymore.
And nothing have I failed at more than relationships. I dont like trying at them, because I know deep down its doomed for failure (due to the reasons listed in my last post).
Im getting older. My peers are getting older. And my window of opportunity is getting smaller. Every year. Soon there wont be any opportunity.
You need to embrace 3 things
First: It can always be worse. You could be starving. Living under bridges. Dying of cancer. Addicted to something so bad you steal or prostitute yourself. I've known people like this. It sucks that life doesn't play out to plan, but it doesn't suck as much as something like having your face burned off in a fire or having a child with severe physical deformities. I've known people like that, too. I made me respect what I have. Hell, being around my 83 year old grandfather does that. I'm so stoked that my hips aren't failing like his are and that I can walk to a car without aid.
Honestly this truth adds to my "life sucks" philosophy. It sucks that others have to go through the shit that they do, and its hard to stay positive on their behalf.
That was/is alot to read Life is what ya make it MC Work harder..Hit the Gym..Change everything Nobody likes change at first but ya get use to it for example I just quit smoking...26 days today..BUT I DID IT don't forget I drive a fucking truck through fucking cities/snowstorms stressful shit at times..Really makes ya want a cig but I changed And guess what I feel ALOT better and I'm getting use to it I honestly feel bad for you Sorry I mocked you..I won't do it anymore Here's to you bud...Make a new beginning Only you can
MC u ever considered what dudes think of your lil problem they feel really sorry for u... its actually devastating to hear shit like u spew. .. idk whether to cry with u or punch u in the face... i definitely aint gonna invite your lame ass to a party unless u intend to stick it in a chix if one should come on to u ... cuz all i need is a chix comin up to me sayin whats that fukkrz problem... i mean id tell her u are ghay so therefore less drama... but doubt id tell a chix he is lame about sex his nuts are numb... see that starts all kinds of drama... see.
fukkin numb nutz
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
I don't think anyone thinks it should be easy on you. It's more people want you to work on it instead of giving up. You kinda overthink things a lot and make grand assumptions about things that come off as naive because you're lacking in social experience. Honestly I think you are too quick to label people and put them into a box and allow that label to guide how you react to them. Most of the time, people just aren't that simple. I feel for you. When I was younger, it was my anger that distanced people from me and hampered my relationships. I came to a breaking point when I got locked up the first time at 27 and had to take a long hard look in the mirror and properly evaluate myself. I forced myself to be more easy going about stuff and just stay away from the things that (ahem) triggered my anger. My life isn't all wine and roses now, but it's better than it was at 22-26. Once I kinda swallowed the bitter pill and accepted that life wasn't perfect and that most of my dreams prolly wouldn't come true, I learned to relax and appreciate life more. Some people will feel that's defeatist, but it was giving me a ton of anxiety to think of how much I hadn't done with my life. Ambition can be a curse sometimes. Putting deadlines on things like when you should be "making it" in your career or settling down with someone can drive you crazy. I went through the same period of my friends all settling down and having kids and it was lonely and isolating, but it also allowed me time to be myself as an adult with money in a way my friends didn't have because they gave themselves responsibilities before I did. My 20 year high school reunion is coming up. There are a few people I went to school with that are grandparents now. I'm happy as hell that ain't me. There will be a day later in life when you're bogged down in bills and responsibilities and you'll think back on this moment and appreciate it more. You never know, you could die tomorrow. Might as well loosen up and enjoy yourself
Life just fucking sucks man. Im sick of always failing. Sick of everything going at snails pace. And sick of always feeling behind where my friends are in life.
Being the retarded talentless loser type my whole life is really starting to take its toll on me. Realizing that Im not even good at what Im good at, and Im even worse at what Im bad at.
Ive been single so long I feel nothing when it comes to the prospect of meeting women or dating anymore. No excitement. No angst. No nervousness. No hope. Nothing. And that feeling of nothingness is leaking into every facet of my life. Its hard for me to feel excited about waking up now a days. The empty feeling sucks.
Ive accepted my dreams probably wont come true long ago. And its resulted in having no drive, and no ambition. I used to try to power through things, and accept the failure. But im so sick of the failure now I dont even like trying anymore.
And nothing have I failed at more than relationships. I dont like trying at them, because I know deep down its doomed for failure (due to the reasons listed in my last post).
Im getting older. My peers are getting older. And my window of opportunity is getting smaller. Every year. Soon there wont be any opportunity.
You need to embrace 3 things
First: It can always be worse. You could be starving. Living under bridges. Dying of cancer. Addicted to something so bad you steal or prostitute yourself. I've known people like this. It sucks that life doesn't play out to plan, but it doesn't suck as much as something like having your face burned off in a fire or having a child with severe physical deformities. I've known people like that, too. I made me respect what I have. Hell, being around my 83 year old grandfather does that. I'm so stoked that my hips aren't failing like his are and that I can walk to a car without aid.
Honestly this truth adds to my "life sucks" philosophy. It sucks that others have to go through the shit that they do, and its hard to stay positive on their behalf.
You can't focus on that too much though. As much pain and fear there is in life, there are also small beautiful moments that often get ignored and forgotten. It's a tragedy of the human condition. For instance: For years if you asked me about my 6th grade the first thing that would pop up was how this kid in my class stole a Bo Jackson card that was really expensive at the time. It killed me and ate me up with anger all summer. Now, the card is prolly $2 and I could get it off eBay. No big deal. But what escaped me for years was the final day of school that year. I was an overachiever back then. I made straight A's all the way from Kindergarten to the middle of 7th grade. Teachers loved me. So as a treat for the last day of school, while all the other kids were being forced to watch 'Ann of Green Gables' bored af, I got to pick out a group of my friends to stack chairs in the lunch room. It doesn't sound like much, but we were unsupervised. I picked my 3 best friends and this girl I had a crush on. We ended up getting into the shake machine in the lunch room and making milkshakes for ourselves and pretty much fucking off the whole time. By the end of the day, the girl I brought kissed me. It was one of those hallmark memories, like out of a cheesy y.a. book. But for years, I completely forgot that day. It didn't fit my narrative. School sucked. Girls sucked. Teachers sucked. Life was boring. Grunge lol. It wasn't til I crossed paths with that girl at a convenience store years later that I remembered and recognized that moment for how beautiful it was. I focused on that stupid baseball card for 3 months, but ignored my beautiful, perfect 11 year old boy day. And it happens all the time. Even now, with my efforts to live out my own determinations I can wallow in my angst. It's an easy hole to fall into. But you can't let that define you. It'll just cloud you from all the things happening that really are great and should be indulged
Comments
First: It can always be worse. You could be starving. Living under bridges. Dying of cancer. Addicted to something so bad you steal or prostitute yourself. I've known people like this. It sucks that life doesn't play out to plan, but it doesn't suck as much as something like having your face burned off in a fire or having a child with severe physical deformities. I've known people like that, too. I made me respect what I have. Hell, being around my 83 year old grandfather does that. I'm so stoked that my hips aren't failing like his are and that I can walk to a car without aid.
Second: You will die. My cousin passed from Lieukemia at 2. My uncle died at 20 in a car accident. He wasn't even driving. My best friend died of a heat stroke at 37 last year. Time is short. Nobody is guaranteed anything. Might as well just do as much as you can to enjoy it. I like the Fight Club/Project Mayhem "What's one thing you want to do before you die?" or the idea of a bucket list. I choose smaller things like parasailing or completing some music. It's fairly important for me to have one of my scripts made into a feature film, but since I can't really accomplish this without the help of others, I leave it further down the list. I try to focus on the things I can do without others. Breaking life down into smaller tasks also helps. Step 1 clean up, step 2 eat better, step 3 exercise more, etc. The more you take care of all the little shit in your life, the easier the bigger tasks will be attainable
Third: Avoid drama. The less you worry about and/or involve yourself in the affairs of others, the happier you will be. All this worrying about shit you see online gets you nowhere. I know there's a such thing as fighting the good fight, but when you realize that the machine you're raging against is nothing but a bunch of other miserable people, you start to see a pattern. Misery loves company. Spirit vampires are everywhere. Focus on things that make you happy, at least until you are happy. It's easier to influence others when you're positive about things anyway. When you're like "This could be awesome!", it effects people in a much more positive way than "This is all fucked!". I struggle with this as well, but that doesn't make it not true. Bottom line though, is: Focus on what makes you happy and avoid the misery others inflict on you
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Life is what ya make it MC
Work harder..Hit the Gym..Change everything
Nobody likes change at first but ya get use to it for example
I just quit smoking...26 days today..BUT I DID IT
don't forget I drive a fucking truck through fucking cities/snowstorms
stressful shit at times..Really makes ya want a cig but I changed
And guess what
I feel ALOT better and I'm getting use to it
I honestly feel bad for you
Sorry I mocked you..I won't do it anymore
Here's to you bud...Make a new beginning
Only you can
THE LEGEND!!!!!
fukkin numb nutz
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)