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  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    fukkin aye cuban cigarz i want one dammit >:)


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies

    An indestructible duck hit by a car at almost 100kmh survived with bruises after getting stuck inside the vehicle's grill for a day.

    Wellington man Phillip Johnson was driving on State Highway 1 near Levin on Wednesday when two ducks waddled onto the road.

    He braked to avoid the pair, but heard a thump and thought he had clipped one.

    "I looked in the rear view mirror and it was walking. I thought the other one had flown away."

    Mr Johnson forgot about the incident till the next day, when he thought he should check the car for damage.

    "I saw some feathers, then I saw the whole duck was still there, and it was still alive. I was surprised more than anything, then concerned about how badly was it damaged."

    The duck proved quite unflappable however.

    "It was just sitting there looking at me the way ducks do. It was quite curious. It looked like the grill had bent back and it had gone straight in."

    Mr Johnson left the duck where it was, and drove to his local vet Allan Probert.

    "He said he had never seen anything like it."

    The two men plus duck then drove to a local panel beater.

    They bent back the grill to extract the female bird.

    "It got a bit agitated so we let it go for a bit. It went straight to a puddle, I think it was pretty thirsty."

    Mr Probert said the duck had bruising and a damaged wing.

    It was expected to make a full recovery.

    "It's one of the most unusual cases I have come across.''

    He planned to release the duck at Zealandia when it was better.

    - The Dominion Post
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies

    Is it Christchurch or Gotham City?

    With the White Lights of Hope swirling in the skies above the earthquake-hit city, a man wearing a Batman costume – complete with mask, cape and tights – marched into the central police station late on Sunday night.

    "First of all he wanted to speak to the commissioner," said Sergeant Chris Jones, who was just starting his shift when the "caped crusader" appeared.

    "And then he wanted to know what was going on and why he'd been called, because he'd seen the lights in the sky."

    The lights have been beaming out from within the cordoned central city since the first anniversary of last Septem-ber's quake as a symbol of hope for long-suffering residents.

    Internet chatter quickly latched on to the similarity to the Bat-Signal – the emblem flashed in the skies above Gotham City to summon comic-book character Batman, usually at the behest of police commissioner Gordon. Jones was not impressed by Sunday night's masked prankster, who was filmed by a friend.

    "He was actually rather a scrawny Batman, I'd have to say," Jones said.

    "If he was going to look for a sidekick for a Robin, he'd have to be probably about 6 foot 4 and built like a tank to help him out."

    After a brief exchange with police watchhouse staff, the costumed prankster, aged in his early 20s, made his exit – presumably to the Batmobile.

    Jones said "Batman" was treated with the utmost respect, adding: "Contrary to popular belief, the police still have a sense of humour."

    - The Press
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    'Topless' car wash creates controversy
    Last updated 12:58 04/10/2011

    KREE NASH

    It was an advertisement designed to grab attention, but it has raised plenty of eyebrows in the process.

    The Miss Wagga Quest in Australia's New South Wales has advertised a ''topless'' car wash this Saturday as part of its fund-raising program.

    But the word topless isn't what it seems.

    "It means the girls won't actually wash the tops of the cars, they will only wash from the windows down," Miss Wagga Quest Committee chairwoman Amanda Gleeson said.

    "If people want the top of their car washed they have to pay extra."

    In a bid to ensure those wanting to have their car washed don't get the wrong idea, the word topless was marked with apostrophes to show it was being used as an advertising gimmick.

    But many have questioned the need for the word believing it's been done in poor taste.

    Quest entrant foundation co-ordinator Deidre Tome said it was an idea put forward by the girls to pick up interest in the event and each girl is required to represent the quest with dignity.

    "It was for the gimmick and quirkiness, but all the girls are expected to abide by the laws of the land and are required to (host events) with the appropriate behaviour which is befitting of the quest and the Business Chamber," she said.

    The car wash was approved by the Wagga Business Chamber committee, who run and support the Miss Wagga Quest.

    -The Daily Advertiser
  • SkullAndCrossbonesSkullAndCrossbones Posts: 16,452 destroyer of motherfuckers
    fuckin' false advertising.
    "That's another thing I love about metal, it's so fuckin' huge yet certain people don't even know it exists." - Rob Zombie
  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    edited October 2011
    “I’m Fucking This Chick”, Says A Dude To Cops About A 71 Year-Old Broad In His Buick

    [TSG] A naked 71-year-old woman and her equally clothes-free male companion, 54, were arrested last month for indecent exposure after a Michigan cop found them trysting in the back seat of a Buick Regal that was rocking gently and had its windows steamed over, according to a police report. When the officer opened the vehicle’s rear door and asked the nude couple what they were doing, Tim Adams offered a concise answer. “I’m fucking this chick,” he said. Yes, Adams referred to his septuagenarian consort, Rita Daniels, as a “chick.” According to a City of Farmington Police report, Daniels’s 2002 Buick (license plate: DIVA 145) was in a shopping center parking lot, adjacent to a restaurant whose customers, including a 10-year-old-boy, apparently had a view of the illicit nighttime action on September 3. Officer Andrew Morche noted that the car’s windows “were covered with heavy condensation,” and that Daniels was atop Adams “and the two were engaged in sexual activities.” A police investigation determined that the couple’s courtship was a brief one. They had met for drinks at a nearby bar “before moving to the back seat of the Buick.” When questioned by cops, neither Daniels nor Adams–both of whom were unsteady and smelled of booze–knew the other’s name. A Breathalyzer test recorded Daniels’s blood alcohol content as .15, nearly twice the state limit. Daniels and Adams were busted for indecent exposure and disorderly intoxication and booked into the local jail, where they were held until sobriety returned. While in custody, cops noted, “Adams decided to strip to his underwear.”
    image


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • Bottle_TreeBottle_Tree Posts: 7,166 just the tip
    Catz what are you doing fucking 71 year olds?
  • cherry_or_gtfocherry_or_gtfo Posts: 1,348 salt miner
    http://www.yardies.com/listings/view.php?listing_id=11834

    Yard sale boasting free beer and free stuffed animals for kids and hot chicks. I also hear he has a tent set up in his back yard to watch porn and a petting zoo (which is his dog...so IDK if that counts).

    But it's for real. It's in my neighborhood.
  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    lolz someone scrapped a 20 feet wide 50 feet long metal bridge

    NEW CASTLE, Pa. —


    A 50-foot-long bridge in western Pennsylvania has been stolen, and its owners say they're baffled by the crime and have no idea who took it.

    New Castle Development spokesman Gary Bruce said Friday that he "couldn't believe it when they told me it was gone."

    A state police report says the 20-foot-wide span in North Beaver Township went missing between Sept. 27 and Wednesday.

    The bridge was made out of corrugated steel and valued at about $100,000. Thieves used a blowtorch to cut it apart, presumably to sell it for scrap metal.

    The bridge was used occasionally as a back entrance to the company property. It's in the woods along a railroad line about 60 miles north of Pittsburgh.

    Bruce says he doubts the company can replace the bridge.


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    Suspect in Florida murder claims to be a vampire :O

    FLORIDA —


    Bizarre twists keep coming in a Florida murder case with a local connection to the Miami Valley.

    A teen who called Hagerstown, Ind., home was brutally killed, and now his ex-girlfriend who has been charged says that she is a vampire.

    According to authorities, the mother of two allegedly let her children watch the killing happen.

    Jacob Hendershot did not live in Hagerstown very long, but the people who still live there said they are saddened by what happened to him.

    Michelle Brown said, "It would make me hurt whether he lived here or not, but no child deserves that. No human being deserves that."

    Hendershot was 16 when he attended Hagerstown High School for a semester in 2010, so people are watching closely to what happens in the case.

    Stephanie Pistey, of Parker, Fla., said, "In my opinion he deserved to get **** (expletive) beat out of him, but he didn't deserve to die."

    Pistey is Hendershot's ex-girlfriend and one of five people who have been charged in his death.

    Police said three men lured Hendershot to a home, where they attacked him, cutting his throat and choking him with a chain.

    "Jacob never deserved to die. I didn't think he was going to die, but I honestly knew they were going to beat him up," Pistey said.

    Police said another woman at the home, let her two young children, age 4 and 10, watch the killing and then clean it up.

    Pistey said she was baby-sitting the children, but that is not all she told a Florida television station.

    "I believe I'm a vampire. Part vampire and part werewolf," Pistey said.

    She said she drank the blood of her boyfriend who is one of the three men who are charged.

    People in Indiana said the bizarre twists are overshadowing the loss of a young life.


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    Police pepper spray Utah haka
    Last updated 08:27 24/10/2011

    Police in a small Utah town are being accused of overreacting after using pepper spray to break up a group of Polynesian men and boys performing a haka after a high school football game.

    The police action came after a pair of officers unsuccessfully attempted to disperse the dozen or so performers who were blocking an exit after the Union-Uintah game on Thursday night (local time), the Deseret News and Salt Lake Tribune reported.

    The group in Roosevelt, a town of 8000, had travelled more than 150 kilometres east from the Salt Lake City area to watch a relative play his final game for Union, which lost to rival Uintah and finished the season without a victory.

    The group reportedly was trying to boost Union's morale with the haka as the players left the field.

    Spectators, coaches and players told police that everything was fine and they should let the men perform, Jessica Rasmussen said, but officers asked them to make room and started using pepper spray.

    Rasmussen said she and other bystanders also got spray in their eyes, ears and mouths.

    Union fan Jason Kelly said the way police reacted was an embarrassment to the community of Roosevelt.

    "I've never seen anything like it," Kelly said. "It was totally unprovoked."

    Police said the incident is under investigation, and anyone wanting to lodge a complaint should contact the department.

    Police said many people in the crowd knew the group was going to dance, but the two officers and others didn't.

    Spectator Shawn Mitchell said while he didn't view the dancers as a threat, the impromptu performance might have played a role in how police responded.

    "If they're going to do something like (the Haka), maybe some planning could be done ahead of time," he said.

    - AP
  • 1D_for_life1D_for_life Posts: 13,785 destroyer of motherfuckers
    edited October 2011
    I saw that the other day.
    image
  • GnomezGnomez Posts: 17,550 master of ceremonies
    Steven Tyler in bathroom accident
    Last updated 12:31 26/10/2011


    Steven Tyler, the lead singer of rock band Aerosmith, suffered a ''small accident''that forced him to postpone a planned show in Paraguay by one day, a local concert organiser said.

    Tyler was taken briefly to a hospital in Paraguay's capital after falling in his hotel bathroom and injuring his face, the country's largest newspaper ABC said.

    The newspaper reported Tyler, 63, spent about three hours in the hospital for cuts near his eyebrow and mouth. The singer also lost two of his teeth, it said.

    ''We have had to delay the concert until tomorrow (Wednesday) due to the incident suffered by the band's singer,'' Marcelo Antunez, one of the local organisers of the Aerosmith concert, told reporters.

    ''Mr. Tyler had a small accident that prevents him from staging the concert tonight ... he is fine, he's in his hotel but he's not able to do the concert,'' he said.

    Tyler was planning to perform in the poor South American nation of Paraguay, as part of a tour through Latin America.

    A man who identified himself as Gustavo Perez, a bellboy at the Bourbon hotel near Asuncion, told local radio that Tyler slipped when he was taking a shower and ''had a nasty fall.''

    Two years ago, Tyler broke his shoulder after falling off the stage during a concert in South Dakota, forcing the group to scrap the rest of its North American tour that summer.  

    - AP

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  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    MIAMI TOWNSHIP, Ohio —


    Police in Miami Township said a man has been arrested, accused of voyeurism and public indecency.

    Investigators said on Saturday a man went into the Elder-Beerman store at the Dayton Mall without his pants on and exposed himself inside a ladies changing room.

    Charles Haynes went into the store, took his pants off and went running around the store, police said.

    Deputy Chief John DiPietro said, "The individual was running around the store, pretty much half-naked and engaging in conduct that is very inappropriate."

    According to police, Haynes was naked from the waist down and said the 20-year-old would hide in clothing ranks. They said he eventually went into the ladies changing room, where he allegedly watched a woman undress.

    "The fitting room has some slats and he was trying to look through those," DiPietro said.

    Officers were called to the store and arrested Haynes. They said Haynes claimed he was on Ecstasy. However, officers are hoping to have a psychological exam done.

    His bond was set at $4,500. Haynes was also charged with criminal damaging for allegedly destroying a coat on one of the racks.


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    fukkin give me teh monae or i blow this fukkin place to HELL

    SPRINGFIELD — A grenade was a robber’s weapon of choice when he held up the Western branch of Security National Bank on Monday.

    Just minutes after the bank opened at 9 a.m., a man wearing a dark coat, hat and sunglasses entered the bank with a white towel covering his face. He thrust what looked like a grenade at the bank clerk and told her “this is real. Give me the money,” according to police.

    “He did say if (we) put any dye packs or anything in it, that he would use whatever he had,” a bank employee told the dispatcher in a 911 call.

    The man stuffed the money in his coat before fleeing on foot. Officers canvassed the area and dusted for fingerprints at the scene. So far, no arrests have been made.

    Lt. Noel Lopez said it’s unknown if the man had a real grenade or something that looked like one.

    “I’m not really sure what it is,” he said.

    This is the second time in two weeks Security National Bank has been robbed. Customer Mike Cafeo was trying to make a deposit just after the robbery.

    “This is the second time I’ve been here when it’s been robbed, and it was at the same time,” Cafeo said. “But this bank has been robbed four times that I’ve known of.”

    Cafeo said he’s still going use bank because his long history with them.

    “I still like them. They take care of you,” he said.

    Milton Ogden said he was inside the bank during one of its past robberies. That incident and this newest one hasn’t changed his mind about being a customer.

    “Times are tough today and I suppose people are desperate to get money,” he said.

    Police described the suspect as between 45 and 50 years old, about 5 feet, 9 inches tall, weighing between 140 and 160 pounds. He has grayish black hair. Anyone with information should call police at (937) 324-7721.


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • WakeOfAshesWakeOfAshes Posts: 21,665 destroyer of motherfuckers
    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-catches-881-pound-tuna-seized-feds-194650751.html
    he should have been part of the 1% if he wanted to keep a fish of that size.
  • StratophonyStratophony Posts: 9,212 just the tip
    edited December 2011
    45,000 Told To Evacuate German Town Before Massive WWII Bomb Is Defused

    image

    his upcoming weekend, a team of German explosive experts and members of the army are scheduled to defuse an unexploded bomb found in the city of Koblenz in Germany. The bomb — with 3,000 pounds of explosives — is a remnant of World War II that emerged in the Rhine River because of low water levels.

    How serious is the situation? Authorities ordered half of the city's residents — 45,000 people — to leave, while they get the job done.

    Der Spiegel reports:

    Three meters (10 feet) long and weighing 1.8 tons, the aerial bomb was recently spotted after a particularly dry November lowered water levels along the busy river. Now preparations are underway for a massive evacuation set for Sunday.

    Authorities are building a temporary dam of some 350 sandbags around the bomb, currently covered by about 40 centimeters (16 inches) of water. A crane commissioned to build the dam was put in place on Tuesday, fire department spokesman Manfred Morschhäuser told the German news agency DAPD. The area will then be pumped free of water so the bomb can be defused.
  • SkullAndCrossbonesSkullAndCrossbones Posts: 16,452 destroyer of motherfuckers
    they should just send that bomb to the Mythbusters. they'll put it to good use :-bd
    "That's another thing I love about metal, it's so fuckin' huge yet certain people don't even know it exists." - Rob Zombie
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