WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
my relationship is rock solid as of now and we both dont see a huge reason for us to ever break up will one come up in the future? that remains to be seen we like to be optimistic of our future and talk about it a lot
and he can if he wants, but he better bring a damn wedding gift
I honestly don't believe there is not a single relationship that is rock solid. There are varying degrees of solidness, however I think every relationship is one wrong turn from breakup. I've been married to my wife for 7 years, and hope to stay married to her for the rest of my life.... But I feel I'd be pretty dumb to think it isnt possible to lose her.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
but don't make the mistake of thinking everything is fine and perfect because at some point, it probably won't be
No probably about it... at some point in time it will be fucked up no doubt. Every relationships has turbulence and obstacles to overcome. However being able to overcome those issues is probably what makes a relationship great.
^^^ this I'm one to work through problems to make a relationship stronger. That's why when people break up over something silly, I'm just like why not have tried working through it. I mean, I know for some people they just can't be with the person anymore but working through problems is good
That's true. And after every obstacle the relationship will become stronger if you can work through it. I do wish that Marc and myselfs breakup is just an obstacle, but it may not be and can truely be over. Because of that I've been very defended and also been created/creating a bubble so to speak.
I know that preople have been saying how they feel bad/sorry that Marc has to deal with me. I know that that if he'd ever get back with me, he'd get shit for it. That actually makes me not want him to ever consider being with me again. I don't ever want anyone to get shit for being with me because I know what that's like. It's not fun and causes a lot of problems. Which is a huge reason why I've been wanting him to find someone better.
While I'm on this, I'm sorry that I was a negative nancy for a while. I probably should have handled things differently but I didn't know how else to do it. I was going through some crazy shit emotionally that parently caused people to not like me, even now. I guess it's whatever and any of you can feel however you want about it.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
When one person in a relationship (Marc) tells the other person in the relationship (you) that it is over, then nothing but pain will come from (you) hanging onto hope that he will change his mind.
Lets pretend for a second that he did change his mind tomorrow because he realized that he couldnt find someone better so he might as well just settle with you. Are you cool with that? You better have said no, or I'd really like to slap some sense into you. I get that you might have low self-esteem, but NEVER should ANYONE want to get into a relationship where they are "second-rate better then nothing". Do you get what I am saying? If Marc changes his mind, it is YOU that I would be giving shit too because Marc isnt good enough for YOU. Did you hear me? He isnt good enough for you! Marc didnt want you, so fuck him if he ever wanted you back because you deserve someone better them him!
What Marc did to you is a relationship deal-breaker. I don't think Marc did anything wrong, he just realized that he did not want to be with you (Note - I know nothing about your past relationship). That was very decent of him to tell you this so you can move on. So move on... move out... put it behind you and look for a new future. Stop believing there is still hope because damnit, you deserve better then someone who will only ever think of you as a second thought. Someone on the sidelines of his life....
To be honest, I don't want to find someone else. If you're right and that's how things are I would much rather go through my life without a "partner". I've had enough heartbreaks and I don't want anymore or even the possibility of another one.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
edited June 2011
I know you don't want to find someone else because I know how it feels to have a broken heart. And I can only imagine what it must be like to see this person every day and be reminded of that hurt of not being with them. I bet you even try and tell yourself that it doesnt bother you that you still live with him, but we both know deep down that isnt true.
I am not telling you that you should move on and find someone new tomorrow. It is healthy to realize you need a nice long break from relationships, and spend time rediscovering yourself, life, and what makes you happy. That is healthy! It is healthy to learn to start being happy with who you are and where you are going in life.
As you should know, I don't know Marc at all. I am only an outsider trying to provide my perspective on your situation based on similar experiences of my life. Just how when people say "Long Distance relationships never work out", I also always say that "Once a relationship has a breakup, it will never work out". When someone breaks up with someone, there is always a reason for that breakup. And so my question always is... If a couple is going to get back together after a breakup, what changed such that this will never happen again? 99% of the time, the change required is not possible. There might be the appearance of change temporarily, but people will fall back into their routines and you will be right back to breakup-ville population you. So this is why I said what I did...
Leah, I'd like you to be happy. I hope my words inspire you to make changes in your life.
It took me 6 years to get out of a relstionship where I settled, because the person I wanted to be with didn't want to be with me and then events happened. Pretty much I had it in my mind that that was it and who I was going to be with. I then said fuck it, grew some balls and moved on. Tried some new things that were derpy imo and stumbled upon someone I would habe never thought I'd "end up' with. He was a player and it showed, which is why for a long time I didn't believe much of anything he said to me. I made a few mistakes and knew it was risky but I took a leap. I kinda got my heart broke along the way even though it was a troll job. Maybe I should have just took it as a sign. But I took an even bigger risk and now this is where I am.
I'm done taking leaps I guess you could say. To me they aren't worth it
Comments
LOL
Nothing of value ever comes easy.
I'm one to work through problems to make a relationship stronger. That's why when people break up over something silly, I'm just like why not have tried working through it. I mean, I know for some people they just can't be with the person anymore but working through problems is good
I know that preople have been saying how they feel bad/sorry that Marc has to deal with me. I know that that if he'd ever get back with me, he'd get shit for it. That actually makes me not want him to ever consider being with me again. I don't ever want anyone to get shit for being with me because I know what that's like. It's not fun and causes a lot of problems. Which is a huge reason why I've been wanting him to find someone better.
While I'm on this, I'm sorry that I was a negative nancy for a while. I probably should have handled things differently but I didn't know how else to do it. I was going through some crazy shit emotionally that parently caused people to not like me, even now. I guess it's whatever and any of you can feel however you want about it.
Lets pretend for a second that he did change his mind tomorrow because he realized that he couldnt find someone better so he might as well just settle with you. Are you cool with that? You better have said no, or I'd really like to slap some sense into you. I get that you might have low self-esteem, but NEVER should ANYONE want to get into a relationship where they are "second-rate better then nothing". Do you get what I am saying? If Marc changes his mind, it is YOU that I would be giving shit too because Marc isnt good enough for YOU. Did you hear me? He isnt good enough for you! Marc didnt want you, so fuck him if he ever wanted you back because you deserve someone better them him!
What Marc did to you is a relationship deal-breaker. I don't think Marc did anything wrong, he just realized that he did not want to be with you (Note - I know nothing about your past relationship). That was very decent of him to tell you this so you can move on. So move on... move out... put it behind you and look for a new future. Stop believing there is still hope because damnit, you deserve better then someone who will only ever think of you as a second thought. Someone on the sidelines of his life....
I am not telling you that you should move on and find someone new tomorrow. It is healthy to realize you need a nice long break from relationships, and spend time rediscovering yourself, life, and what makes you happy. That is healthy! It is healthy to learn to start being happy with who you are and where you are going in life.
As you should know, I don't know Marc at all. I am only an outsider trying to provide my perspective on your situation based on similar experiences of my life. Just how when people say "Long Distance relationships never work out", I also always say that "Once a relationship has a breakup, it will never work out". When someone breaks up with someone, there is always a reason for that breakup. And so my question always is... If a couple is going to get back together after a breakup, what changed such that this will never happen again? 99% of the time, the change required is not possible. There might be the appearance of change temporarily, but people will fall back into their routines and you will be right back to breakup-ville population you. So this is why I said what I did...
Leah, I'd like you to be happy. I hope my words inspire you to make changes in your life.
I'm done taking leaps I guess you could say. To me they aren't worth it