Post your favorite quotes that someone said something you said or something you overheard today

Razor_Shark

I only add people I don't know if there are 20+ Mutual friends.

OPP

My friends and I were talking about past relationships:

Mikey: ...so after a while it was like, Andrea, I don't care. You can go suck a dick.

Me: Hah! What happened next?

Mikey: She sucked my dick.

sbs_will

"I want you to be my sugar daddy."

-My friend to me.

Brian

Mom - COME ON BRIAN HURRY UP SO WE CAN GO

Me - Ok, sorry...So where do you want to go to eat?

Mom - I don't know.......

Heavy_Metal_Jesus

Thank you Omegle:

You: youu a gansta nigga?

Stranger: hell yeh, aussie gangsta, reppin the graffiti

You: aussie?

You: Australia?

Stranger: dam straight, aboriginal crew

You: ah, sweet dude

Stranger: you a gangstaa?

You: I'm irish, born american

You: nah

You: I'm a metal white devil

Stranger: XDD

You: I couuld make a fucking rap out of that

Stranger: so your a rapist

Stranger: who loves to fuk little kids?

Stranger: screw you nigger

You: not quite

Gazorpazorpfield

Friend on the radio talking about the new student rules at football games:

So now we have this new "student" section that isn't really a student section, they moved us away from the cheerleaders, away from the band, so basically we're sitting way out off to the side cheering for the children of the corn.

Stratophony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HGfAQuO42w

Gazorpazorpfield

"Well if you're going to put bleach on a venereal disease..."

Among the greatest things I've ever heard a mormon teacher say.

MEATSANDWICH

Mel Brooks - 'Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die'.

ComptonAssBerto

IM A BANANA
IM A BANANA
IM A BANANA
LOOK AT ME MOVE

Adam

i am like a body builder because i like to eat
not because i work out a lot haha i said this to my dad.

Mike

The way you ask a girl to homecoming is by going up to her and saying "heyyyy pretty lady, I know my relative clauses, so let's go to the dance".

My English teacher.

drinkwine732

The way you ask a girl to homecoming is by going up to her and saying "heyyyy pretty lady, I know my relative clauses, so let's go to the dance".

My English teacher.

I'd do that.

Razor_Shark

R-Truth: John, you are one of the most reckless, most getting crunk people I know
John Cena: Ya, I do get crunk.

MetalCoresades

The way you ask a girl to homecoming is by going up to her and saying "heyyyy pretty lady, I know my relative clauses, so let's go to the dance".

My English teacher.

better than how i asked

drinkwine732

The way you ask a girl to homecoming is by going up to her and saying "heyyyy pretty lady, I know my relative clauses, so let's go to the dance".

My English teacher.

better than how i asked

Crusades - Sup bitch? Wanna come to homecoming? Wait, you don't have a choice, now get in my Camaro.

MetalCoresades

The way you ask a girl to homecoming is by going up to her and saying "heyyyy pretty lady, I know my relative clauses, so let's go to the dance".

My English teacher.

better than how i asked

Crusades - Sup bitch? Wanna come to homecoming? Wait, you don't have a choice, now get in my Camaro.

kewl beanz

Rex_Capone420

Grande?

TheDevilsDreads

Rhiannon - Best day in history: March 28, 1986
Ceilidh - lady gaga was put on this earth. ♥
Julian Sweet - the day that a certain mom could not make it to the abortion clinic
Ceilidh - WOW.
Ceilidh - i think lady gaga's birth is more interesting personally.
Julian Sweet - if i want your opinion ill ask for it

OPP

LOL so I just got off the phone with Dave from Cattle Decapitation...

Dave: Hey man you just called me and I missed it.. my bad

Me: Oh it's cool. I'm just calling to schedule the time for the interview tonight. The Metal Blade director told me to give you a call.

Dave: Yeah definitely... um... sorry can I call you back in a minute?

Me: Yeah for sure.

*in the background*
Travis: Is that the guy?

Dave: Yeah, Alex.

Travis: Tell him I said whats up.

Dave: Travis says wha-

Travis: WHATS UP MAN?!?!