Post your favorite quotes that someone said something you said or something you overheard today

Gazorpazorpfield

Okay nevermind all they do is argue

Tiger

Get to my hotel room, and drunk guy is trying to get in my room..

Guy: This keys not working.
Me: Bc its my room.
Guy: dood you think they got us roomin together?
Me: I doubt it bc theres only one bed in the room...
Guy: You sure?
Me: Yep, I've been here since Sunday!
Guy: Whoa,whoa,whoa, maybe it was 207, I shoulda kept my paper...
Me: yup, maybe...
Guy: lol, aight thanks dood!
Me:

Drunk guy stomps away...

...

When I was talking to my friend Zack at Walmart earlier, he's the manager.

Zack: Darian, someone threw up all over the bathroom. Go clean it up. It's bad.
Darian: Zack, how bad is it?
Zack: It's bad....
Darian: (as he walks into the bathroom) So far, so good. You guys are exaggerating.
(Door closes, and after a few seconds) ....... HOLY SHIT NO.

Gazorpazorpfield

This whole conversation was fucking hilarious, but I'm just going to take the punchline towards the end

"Oh you think you're cool because you eat pussy?"

My friends girl straight up asked me in front of him if I could talk him into doing the deed.

OPP

he might love the d

or just like the d

or at least accept the d like a brother

FLAT

Smoking marijuana, eating cheetos, amd masturbating do not constitute as plans in my book

- walter white

) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )

...

Watching the roast of James Franco, and Natashia Leggero is speaking to Bill Hader.

"Bill is the next Phil Hartmen, hopefully"

holy fuck )

Rex_Capone420

SkyHighStacksYo said:

Smoking marijuana, eating cheetos, amd masturbating do not constitute as plans in my book

- walter white

) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )

) ) ) ) ) )

FLAT

Was so high when he said that i rolled )

FLAT

Fuck i realized how hilarious bb is )

Rex_Capone420

it's always had comedic value...always been on of my favorite parts of the show

FLAT

One**

...

"If your only aspiration in life is to party and be drunk or high on a regular basis, you lose"

- My friend Johnny/vocalist of Dark Sermon.

Rex_Capone420

SkyHighStacksYo said:

One**

8-| kymfs

FLAT

Kill yourself lmao

FLAT

That was directed to facefuck

...

Tis the truth

FLAT

So tell me.. Did bill gates lose?

...

#-o

FLAT

Thats my reaction everytime you post