Yes you need to move out and grow up but you also don’t have to sacrifice yourself in that process. It’s clear you care about this girl and don’t want to lose her. It’s okay if you have to sacrifice same things but don’t sell out your whole enjoyment just to make things work. Regardless of what happens with her I feel like moving out is a good move. Yes I know things are expensive but I’d much rather be reliant on myself than others
You tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
Its just hard. I already cant afford to do most things. I cant afford vacations. I cant afford music festivals. I've done the math, and based on my current earnings and spending, I need to make another $500 a month to make it work. So I need to cut $500 of my spending down.
So no concerts, cons, games, books, going out to eat/drink, etc. Its the only way I can make this work.
MC I think this is so tough for you because it's combining two separate issues: moving out for the first time, and moving in with your girlfriend. I know Chicago is probably expensive af to live in
Does your girlfriend have her own place? Does she have roommates?
Can I ask where your money is going currently? I’m not being rude just trying to understand what your current living expenses are
I currently spend about $400 alone on gas, tolls, and car insurance. Another $60 for my phone. $36 on my gym. I do pay my parents $210 a month in rent, which I know isnt a lot, but I currently do pay that. I put $460 in savings a month. And the rest on food, my band, concerts, cons, gaming, books and comics, etc.
Even pulling that $210 a month out from my parents, I still need to make an additional $500 a month to pay rent at my girlfriend's apartment. That means stopping my savings, which Im not going to do, or cutting my entertainment/hobbies. Which is why I need a second job so I can afford those things.
MC I think this is so tough for you because it's combining two separate issues: moving out for the first time, and moving in with your girlfriend. I know Chicago is probably expensive af to live in
Does your girlfriend have her own place? Does she have roommates?
Its just her at her appartment. We'd both be working two jobs to make it work.
Plus the $1000 it will be for rent + renters insurance.
I make about $2300 a month. As is now, I'll have ~$300 to spend on hobbies, and other things like doctor visits or car maintainence or whatever. Which is "doable" but not ideal or comfortable
1)It’s a bad idea with the budget that tight. The financial crunch we are isn’t going away any time soon. Living with somebody with no extra room for simple pleasures isn’t gonna make your relationship better. Being broke is stressful af. It’s a punchline, but "What, in this economy?" should be a personal motto for a lot of people right now.
2) Moving into her place is also a bad idea. The space is already hers. It will always be hers. Your shit is just gonna infringe on the space where her shit goes. It also causes extra tension and stress. Have a fight and your out. Break up and your homeless. Unless she’s getting the deal of a lifetime on the place push for a new place for both of you. Then it’s yours and hers together, not just you in her place. Should a breakup happen, you guys can get out of it together or find other arrangements on better terms.
3) Isn’t there also an issue with the cats and allergies?
4) it’s good to grow up and do big boi shit but it’s really important that she is happy with you for who you are, not who you will be if you sell all of your toys and quit all of your hobbies to conform to what she wants. You’ll just end up personally miserable. You can get another job, but then it’s too much time apart. You make more money and lifestyle creep kicks in and your right back in a marginally better boat with slightly better food.
Wait you save 500 a month and bitch about not having money to do stuff?
Bruh, that's awesome you are saving. But wtf are you doing with that money.
If you were putting that 500 into an actual savings, like a s&p 500 index and let the compound interest do its work, you could retire with over a million dollars in 30 years.
Wtf are you doing with that 500? Putting it in the bank? Putting it in a box? Start making real investments with it. It sitting in a regular saving account, you might as well stick it in a safe lol.
Second, why are you saving that much and complaining about not having money to do stuff? Most people are living paycheck to paycheck in 2023. You should be happier with where you are at.
Wait you save 500 a month and bitch about not having money to do stuff?
Bruh, that's awesome you are saving. But wtf are you doing with that money.
If you were putting that 500 into an actual savings, like a s&p 500 index and let the compound interest do its work, you could retire with over a million dollars in 30 years.
Wtf are you doing with that 500? Putting it in the bank? Putting it in a box? Start making real investments with it. It sitting in a regular saving account, you might as well stick it in a safe lol.
Second, why are you saving that much and complaining about not having money to do stuff? Most people are living paycheck to paycheck in 2023. You should be happier with where you are at.
I put it in my bank account. Ive been able to so since Ive been living at home. I will not be able to do so once I move out. Thus the need for a second job.
I understand it could always be worse, I never said it couldnt. But I also dont want to go down to no savings either. Emergencies happen. And I dont wanna get fucked if I suddenly have a medical emergency, or car break down, or suddenly lose my job.
Might have just scored an ideal side gig running backline with a production company a couple times a month. They rent from my primary job, and its all event based so I can work as much or as little as I want/can, and they often use the gear from my primary job so I already know how to use all of it. Litty
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So no concerts, cons, games, books, going out to eat/drink, etc. Its the only way I can make this work.
Does your girlfriend have her own place? Does she have roommates?
Even pulling that $210 a month out from my parents, I still need to make an additional $500 a month to pay rent at my girlfriend's apartment. That means stopping my savings, which Im not going to do, or cutting my entertainment/hobbies. Which is why I need a second job so I can afford those things.
Its just her at her appartment. We'd both be working two jobs to make it work.
I make about $2300 a month. As is now, I'll have ~$300 to spend on hobbies, and other things like doctor visits or car maintainence or whatever. Which is "doable" but not ideal or comfortable
2) Moving into her place is also a bad idea. The space is already hers. It will always be hers. Your shit is just gonna infringe on the space where her shit goes. It also causes extra tension and stress. Have a fight and your out. Break up and your homeless. Unless she’s getting the deal of a lifetime on the place push for a new place for both of you. Then it’s yours and hers together, not just you in her place. Should a breakup happen, you guys can get out of it together or find other arrangements on better terms.
2) Making money
They may not be mutually exclusive but one has to take priority. We can go from there.
I applied for a bunch of jobs yesterday. Going to have to work a lot, but I'll figure it out.
Bruh, that's awesome you are saving. But wtf are you doing with that money.
If you were putting that 500 into an actual savings, like a s&p 500 index and let the compound interest do its work, you could retire with over a million dollars in 30 years.
Wtf are you doing with that 500? Putting it in the bank? Putting it in a box? Start making real investments with it. It sitting in a regular saving account, you might as well stick it in a safe lol.
Second, why are you saving that much and complaining about not having money to do stuff? Most people are living paycheck to paycheck in 2023. You should be happier with where you are at.
I understand it could always be worse, I never said it couldnt. But I also dont want to go down to no savings either. Emergencies happen. And I dont wanna get fucked if I suddenly have a medical emergency, or car break down, or suddenly lose my job.