Well she had trust issues. Probably dating back before what she found. That usually falls back on being insecure.
Insecure people will find a way to damage the relationship. She was probably trying to make herself feel better, but in reality when you do that you are only going to find things you don’t want to see.
And when you are insecure, even if what you see doesn’t really mean anything, your mind is going to convince you otherwise.
Yeah doesn't sound like you were gonna win there. I can relate cause most of by best friends have been women. I have one friend in particular I've known for 11 years now, we say "love you" to one another, it's not uncommon for just the both of us to hang out. My girlfriend is super cool though and understands the difference between a friendly and romantic relationship, and not to mention she knew how me and my friend interacted from the beginning of our relationship. But what may have helped is if she had a better idea of exactly how close y'all are from the start? Still sounds like she needs to be more understanding anyway but still. Regardless that's a shitty situation so I'm sorry to hear about that, Wake.
Yeah you’re probably spot on with saying I should have told her how close I was from the start. I absolutely failed at that and to be perfectly honest I purposely did so because she really told me at the beginning that she has real trust and insecurity issues. I thought - “it’s not like this friend and I ever hang out so no reason to make her jealous about something so insignificant”. That backfired. If I was a smarter person I should have just broke up with her after the third date when I learned about these trust issues.
I agree if you love someone as much as I love her, and as much as she says she loves me... you don’t throw it away over a text exchange. You talk about it and come up with a plan to regain trust and make it work. You try and be understanding of each other and work at it. That’s not what she wants to do though so I’m not sure what I could do or say to bring her back to the table
Thank you for this. I haven’t even bothered arguing this wrong she did, and frankly I should be afforded that privacy in my life. This was super dishonest of her and her finding a convo that she reads one way, where the two people involved meant in a completely different way is bullshit. I should be much more angry about that betrayal but I love her too much to really make that a huge issue.
I guess it just doesn’t matter that she did it. She’s made her decision so I’m not sure what positivity comes from pointing out her wrongs.
It’s funny - one thing she says is that it was inappropriate that we were “sending pics to each other”. The pics she sent me? Picture of the baby she just had a month ago with her husband, and the only person the the pic is her baby! Like the way she accuses me of sending pics it’s like I sent dick pics.
Well she had trust issues. Probably dating back before what she found. That usually falls back on being insecure.
Insecure people will find a way to damage the relationship. She was probably trying to make herself feel better, but in reality when you do that you are only going to find things you don’t want to see.
And when you are insecure, even if what you see doesn’t really mean anything, your mind is going to convince you otherwise.
Sorry to hear that man. Breakups are rough.
Thanks dude and spot on with this. She’s a lovely person, I hope she can get these trust/insecurity issues figured out for her future happiness
I’m kind of an asshole when it comes to people getting into my personal shit. It works though. My wife got into my bank account recently and saw I had bought some shit I didn’t tell her about. It wasn’t even that bad, so she kinda rainy-day’d it until I made her mad last week by not coming home on time from gun shopping with my friend. The gun shopping thing wasn’t my fault because the lines at gun stores down here are ridiculous, so I felt empowered and didn’t budge at all or apologize. By the end of the argument, I had her apologizing to me, detailing things she had bought herself without telling me. It ended up working out for me. It was just awkward because of how social stuff is these days. You get really demonized for what the old timers call “being a man”. It would’ve been easy for her to go running to her friends like “Nick is such a monster” and have all that drama. I’m a big dude with a mean scowl, so it’s easy to paint me in that light. I get that and I’m aware, but I just couldn’t have her do that shit to me and think it was ok. We’ve been past all the cheating and fighting and drinking for a couple years now, but having all that baggage makes me a lot more frank when I feel like she’s overstepped her boundaries. Anyways, I didn’t mean to make this about me. I have my own issues. I just think that even though it’s a tightrope, you can be on the offensive when it comes to someone violating your boundaries and still have it work out for you.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
edited July 2020
thanks for the related experience Satan. Tbh I wish I had taking more of a stand on those personal boundaries but probably didn’t because of how into this girl I was. You’ve seen her pics so you know what I lost. Perhaps if she was a little uglier than I might have had more of a backbone. Of course perhaps I would have been spineless either way
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
The low key flex comment was funny but I was not at all dissing on Satan. Satan isn’t a social media whore (like I am) posting shit-tons of selfies. Not even sure I know what his wife looks like. Satan is my friend and I don’t shit on friends
Sometimes the fruit that was just out of reach back in the day hangs a bit lower now or you can just climb higher than before. Either way the picking gets easier.
I wasn’t here at all for that shit with wake a year ago but as I read that all I could think was a line some here would say “this MF simpin hard” that chick went through his phone and she’s the one claiming trust was broken? That girl got him trained if he’s feeling bad for something she did. To end this with another line for a post that’s nearly a year old but brought me entertainment this morning “don’t be a pussy”
You tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
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Kinda miss her, she was a good friend back in the day.
But also I think I just wish I fucked her once
There's like... 4 or 5 girls I wish I tried harder with. Wish I wasn't such a bitch back then.
Also shoulda just fucked that Con milf that second night, and that other chick at that other con. Stupid guilt.