I wouldn't try to work this out. In fact I don't see how it could after what she did. If you try to work it out I would imagine you'll never be able to trust her again no matter what you try to tell yourself. Something in your head will always be telling you to keep one eye open. The chances are she's still having the affair. When the school started their investigation I'm sure she told the kid they had to lay low for a while so that could mean no contact. It also seems to me she wiped everything out on purpose so you'd have no evidence or ammo against her but your word. Do you have any other copies somewhere? Perhaps in a place she won't find them or something? Either decision you make is going to affect your kids and they're gonna wonder what's up either way. I'm sure they can feel the walking on broken glass feeling in the house.
We are trying to work things out, but are still at square ZERO. I don't know what will happen and am basically living day to day with this shit....My constant anger and verbal attacks on her are taking their toll, and her demand for immediate trust is making me hurt even more over her betrayal...
I would say that in 99% of all relationships, there comes a time where the two people fall out of love. She stops feeling appreciated and loved, and the spark of something new (something that she use to have with you) is now there with someone else. The things you do are taken for granted (paying bills, emotional support, unconditional love, staying loyal), for the hope of someone that might bring the romance back in her life. For guys, similar things can happen, but more typically it's their significant other isnt putting out as much, and the excitement of new pussy is too great to pass up when they actually have some new pussy biting at their empty hook they've cast out.
Travis - It's entirely possible that this was a huge wake up call for her. That when faced with the reality of what she was doing, and what could ultimately happen to her family, that she will realize how stupid she was. That this spark she thought she had with someone else, was really just facade that almost cost her her life. It is entirely possible that she will now never stray again.
The problem with this though man is your trust issues. How exactly can you ever trust her again? Cause not trusting your wife is a quick road to misery and pain for you and her. But how can you trust her after what she did? I wish I had some better advice for you, but I have none. If you find a good solution to trusting here unconditionally, please let me know cause I really need that advice too. But I do think that trust can be rebuilt over time.... And I do feel you need to sit her down and explain exactly how you feel. Lay some ground rules...
1. Let me finish saying what I have to say before you respond 2. This conversation is NOT what you have done, but how I can accept what you have done 3. Do you want to be married to me? Yes or No... Do we need to work on rekindling our love? 4. Do you have ideas for how I can start trusting you again? What if I had cheated on you... How could you ever trust me again?
Anyways, anyone in this thread who is telling you that what she did is unforgivable, are silly. There isnt a single person alive who is above cheating. Sure they might claim they are, however I assert that is only because they havent been put in the right situation. I highly doubt your wife was trying to cheat.... Im sure it was more like she didnt feel appreciated, and loved, and then this other kid started giving her feelings that she hasnt had in over a decade. I am not justifying her actions, but just saying that I understand. It's hard not to cheat when you get put in a situation that feels right and makes you feel things you havent felt in a long time.
I have never cheated on my wife or any of my past girl friends.... However I have been in a few situations where I feel I was lucky to not cheat. For a guy it's easy to stop chasing pussy, but when new pussy is chasing us, we can't run fast enough. And I dont think women have it any easier then we do....
Tbh, it's not hard to find out how to kill a computer with a simple web search. Don't underestimate anyone with their back to the wall. If I were you Travis, I'd get her out of the house ASAP before she does anymore damage. Your number one duty right now should be to protect yourself and your kids. She's abandoned the family afaic
Im honestly a little surprised to hear you say this. You arent even faithful to the mother of your children so why is what she did all that bad in your opinion? Seems like you might think this is a good opportunity for travis to work this into an open marriage.
Yeah I get destroying the computer was a little extreme, however wouldnt you too if you suspected there was evidence on it that could send you to jail? Other then that, what did she do? Slept with some other dude. I'd think that you would think that isnt that big of a deal...
I say you go with your heart bro. Fuck me once..shame on you..Fuck me twice..shame on me. From your post I gather you still love her. Love is a hard thing to get rid of sometimes. I would try to work it out for your kids. It will take a long time to rebuild what you had though it will prob. never be the same. You know what's best for you and your kids. I hope you make the best choices that suit you.
Tbh, it's not hard to find out how to kill a computer with a simple web search. Don't underestimate anyone with their back to the wall. If I were you Travis, I'd get her out of the house ASAP before she does anymore damage. Your number one duty right now should be to protect yourself and your kids. She's abandoned the family afaic
Im honestly a little surprised to hear you say this. You arent even faithful to the mother of your children so why is what she did all that bad in your opinion? Seems like you might think this is a good opportunity for travis to work this into an open marriage.
Yeah I get destroying the computer was a little extreme, however wouldnt you too if you suspected there was evidence on it that could send you to jail? Other then that, what did she do? Slept with some other dude. I'd think that you would think that isnt that big of a deal...
we have an agreement. if she does something, i know about it. vice versa for me. and i'm a special case. i can deal with it. most dudes can't. what travis' wife has done is a violation. there's an ocean of difference between our situations.
we have an agreement. if she does something, i know about it. vice versa for me. and i'm a special case. i can deal with it. most dudes can't. what travis' wife has done is a violation. there's an ocean of difference between our situations.
I wasnt trying to imply that the two situations are the same.... I was only saying that I am surprised that from your standpoint you wouldnt have just been like "Dude... work this into an open relationship". But I guess what you are saying is you realize some dudes can't handle that.
Would you break up with your gf if you found out she slept with another dude, but didnt tell you about it? Or what would happen in this situation? Im asking because I find it interesting that having fore knowledge of a sexual act somehow diminishes the relevancy (or potential hurtfulness) of it.
Comments
>cum in mouth
>profit
Good luck Travis. Sorry for your bullshit.
Travis - It's entirely possible that this was a huge wake up call for her. That when faced with the reality of what she was doing, and what could ultimately happen to her family, that she will realize how stupid she was. That this spark she thought she had with someone else, was really just facade that almost cost her her life. It is entirely possible that she will now never stray again.
The problem with this though man is your trust issues. How exactly can you ever trust her again? Cause not trusting your wife is a quick road to misery and pain for you and her. But how can you trust her after what she did? I wish I had some better advice for you, but I have none. If you find a good solution to trusting here unconditionally, please let me know cause I really need that advice too. But I do think that trust can be rebuilt over time.... And I do feel you need to sit her down and explain exactly how you feel. Lay some ground rules...
1. Let me finish saying what I have to say before you respond
2. This conversation is NOT what you have done, but how I can accept what you have done
3. Do you want to be married to me? Yes or No... Do we need to work on rekindling our love?
4. Do you have ideas for how I can start trusting you again? What if I had cheated on you... How could you ever trust me again?
Anyways, anyone in this thread who is telling you that what she did is unforgivable, are silly. There isnt a single person alive who is above cheating. Sure they might claim they are, however I assert that is only because they havent been put in the right situation. I highly doubt your wife was trying to cheat.... Im sure it was more like she didnt feel appreciated, and loved, and then this other kid started giving her feelings that she hasnt had in over a decade. I am not justifying her actions, but just saying that I understand. It's hard not to cheat when you get put in a situation that feels right and makes you feel things you havent felt in a long time.
I have never cheated on my wife or any of my past girl friends.... However I have been in a few situations where I feel I was lucky to not cheat. For a guy it's easy to stop chasing pussy, but when new pussy is chasing us, we can't run fast enough. And I dont think women have it any easier then we do....
Yeah I get destroying the computer was a little extreme, however wouldnt you too if you suspected there was evidence on it that could send you to jail? Other then that, what did she do? Slept with some other dude. I'd think that you would think that isnt that big of a deal...
Would you break up with your gf if you found out she slept with another dude, but didnt tell you about it? Or what would happen in this situation? Im asking because I find it interesting that having fore knowledge of a sexual act somehow diminishes the relevancy (or potential hurtfulness) of it.