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What's going on with me for those who give a fuck....
I told some of youz privately, but I thought I'd share with the board since you guys were all so supportive when I quit drinking, I might do me some good to be able to share this information with youz.
When I quit drinking a year ago, I had horrific withdraws, it was called Delirium Tremons. I was hallucinating, all my vitals signs were sky high, shakes/tremors, flu like sympotms, headache, fucked up stomach, you name it i had it. they put me on Xanax to prevent me having a seizre and I been taking it ever since. The first 3 months were horrible, I think I was in the ER about 6 times. But I gradually fealt better and after 6 months they started weening me off the xanax till about 4 weeks ago I was down to half a miligram a day from taking like 4 a day. The worst part about all this was these panick attacks I was getting in the first few months of quitting, paralyzing crazy panick attacks. I have always had anxiety, but I attritibuted the panick attacks to alcohol withdraw.
so things got better, they went away... and I been feeling good for a while now. 4 weeks ago I dropped my xanax dose down to half a miligram and BOOM pannick attack and I've had about 5 since then and theyre always followed by 3-5 days of intense anxiety cause I'm scared to death of having another attack. My symptoms are weakness/numbness all over, heart racing/palputaions, shakes/tremor, sweating/chills, i cant eat, its ridiculous. Its just like intense fear of absolutley nothing, its horrible.
after I had a pannick attack at the Down show a few weeks ago I decided to call the DR. now before about a year ago they gave me a med for these attacks and the Dr said it would held and all it did was end me up in the hospital with almost every bad side effect you can think of... it was horrible my body had a very negative reaction to it. and it happened once before when I was like 17 I tried some other shit and it fucked my head up, I remeber I missed school for a few weeks.
So i went to the Dr last monday and she gave me another med to try and I been pondering it all week and finally had the balls to take it today, I basically just forced it down my throat. I been so scared cause of what happened before when I took meds I alost have a damn near phobia about it. But hopefully this works.
The dr said I have something called panick disorder and theres nothing I can do, its just a chemical imbalance. I been real stubborn about recieveing medical care for it over since I was in high school I remeber having anxiety, its just since being sober i get these blistering attacks. I dont want any of yalls to think I'm fucking crazy or anything and I know I been moody sometimes recently and may have acted out of character, so I apologize and hopefully this sheds some light on why.
So I am nervous, I took the pill at 6am, so its been almost 5 hrs and so far I havent really fealt much of anything, so thats a good sign cause last time i was sick as a dog in an hr after taking it. I am very optimistic it will help[ this time and I owe it to myself and people around me to give it a shot. So right now is day one and I'm just trying to remain calm< i'm listing to pulse and just thinking positive about this. I always thought this was a weakness that I was going to have to deal with forever and I have been dealing with it for a long ass time, but I have high hopes for the future. Supposedly it takes 2 weeks to fully kick on, so wish me luck.
Thanks for reading my long ass story and thanks for your guys support with my drinking bullshit and thanks for being people I can turn to when shit isnt going too good. You guys have helped me alot this passed year and this is just another hurdle and I know alot of yous will make me feel better about it, some of you already have!
When I quit drinking a year ago, I had horrific withdraws, it was called Delirium Tremons. I was hallucinating, all my vitals signs were sky high, shakes/tremors, flu like sympotms, headache, fucked up stomach, you name it i had it. they put me on Xanax to prevent me having a seizre and I been taking it ever since. The first 3 months were horrible, I think I was in the ER about 6 times. But I gradually fealt better and after 6 months they started weening me off the xanax till about 4 weeks ago I was down to half a miligram a day from taking like 4 a day. The worst part about all this was these panick attacks I was getting in the first few months of quitting, paralyzing crazy panick attacks. I have always had anxiety, but I attritibuted the panick attacks to alcohol withdraw.
so things got better, they went away... and I been feeling good for a while now. 4 weeks ago I dropped my xanax dose down to half a miligram and BOOM pannick attack and I've had about 5 since then and theyre always followed by 3-5 days of intense anxiety cause I'm scared to death of having another attack. My symptoms are weakness/numbness all over, heart racing/palputaions, shakes/tremor, sweating/chills, i cant eat, its ridiculous. Its just like intense fear of absolutley nothing, its horrible.
after I had a pannick attack at the Down show a few weeks ago I decided to call the DR. now before about a year ago they gave me a med for these attacks and the Dr said it would held and all it did was end me up in the hospital with almost every bad side effect you can think of... it was horrible my body had a very negative reaction to it. and it happened once before when I was like 17 I tried some other shit and it fucked my head up, I remeber I missed school for a few weeks.
So i went to the Dr last monday and she gave me another med to try and I been pondering it all week and finally had the balls to take it today, I basically just forced it down my throat. I been so scared cause of what happened before when I took meds I alost have a damn near phobia about it. But hopefully this works.
The dr said I have something called panick disorder and theres nothing I can do, its just a chemical imbalance. I been real stubborn about recieveing medical care for it over since I was in high school I remeber having anxiety, its just since being sober i get these blistering attacks. I dont want any of yalls to think I'm fucking crazy or anything and I know I been moody sometimes recently and may have acted out of character, so I apologize and hopefully this sheds some light on why.
So I am nervous, I took the pill at 6am, so its been almost 5 hrs and so far I havent really fealt much of anything, so thats a good sign cause last time i was sick as a dog in an hr after taking it. I am very optimistic it will help[ this time and I owe it to myself and people around me to give it a shot. So right now is day one and I'm just trying to remain calm< i'm listing to pulse and just thinking positive about this. I always thought this was a weakness that I was going to have to deal with forever and I have been dealing with it for a long ass time, but I have high hopes for the future. Supposedly it takes 2 weeks to fully kick on, so wish me luck.
Thanks for reading my long ass story and thanks for your guys support with my drinking bullshit and thanks for being people I can turn to when shit isnt going too good. You guys have helped me alot this passed year and this is just another hurdle and I know alot of yous will make me feel better about it, some of you already have!
Comments
Good luck George!
It's probably just about pink floyd anyway
Sorry George. Too soon?
J/k man. that sucks, hope everything goes good dude >:D<
having those sort of withdrawals does not sound fun. I feel lucky that alcohol has never had that big of a hold over me. I'd hate to give it up, but also hate to have it run my life.
I give you mad props for your attempt to regain control of your life. Stick with it George, I am sure you will be successful. I think you are a lot stronger then you might give yourself credit for... and I think in time you'll have this.
Good luck homie.
and thats for the props, I appreciate it, you too Jay >:D<
This fear and panic didnt go away when I left the house.... however I don't have these feelings anymore. So I think these things go away in time. But I am not a doctor, and am only drawing conclusions from my probably unrelated past.
and Wake, I have a philosophy on step dads and it's not a good one. Never trust a step dad. I know i'm generalizing here, and I may even be offending some people who are step dads or had good ones, but step dads are alot of time, bad news.