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so i had a falling out with a friend...and i went from sad to pissed as hell
Rex_Capone420
Posts: 69,593 spicy boy
so i decided i could no longer be friends with this chick i was always really close to and that led me on for years and what not so i sent her this message yesterday
This is something I never hoped to write, but it’s something I have put off for far too long. I have come to the conclusion that it is not longer healthy for me too try so hard to be a part of your life. For a long time now I have been willing to sacrifice myself and my feelings just to try and have any part in your life. Iv gone out of the way and made many efforts to play some kind of role in your life, wither its bugging you to come hang out, messaging you on facebook, text you ect. And to me it’s obvious that you could really care less. You have made no effort and never have. Iv always been the one who had to initiate it if we were going to hang out, I was always the one to ask how you were doing, or how have you been, and I honestly don’t remember a time where you ever called/texted me just to say hey, or see how I was doing. You can say you’re busy with work, school and your babies, but the fact is that would be a bunch of bullshit. Sure you’re busy but it doesn’t take a huge chuck of your day to say hi once a month. I just can’t take holding inside all these fucked up emotions for the betterment of a friendship that is clearly not there. We used to be so close, and I know with time things can change but you now have a daughter that is over a year old who I still have not met. I know I made my mistakes and that I probably brought this upon myself but why keep stringing me alone when you clearly do not give a shit. I did every thing I could to draw the line over the last two years and respect the boundaries we have rhetorically set for each other. I feel like IV tried everything I could to make this friendship work but now that I realize its all one sided it is not worth it for me any more. You said the other day that I don’t have the ability to do anything for myself which I agree is true, but I have finally decided to do something for me that I have to do. I feel like I have no other choice but to cut ties. The final tie we have is the money I owe you and I hope to have you paid off sometime in April so I can cut that final tie. It just hurts me to much to see you and your daughter (who IV seen what likes 4-5 times in 2.5 year) and realize that I can not be even a small part of your lives. When I see you its awesome, I have no other care in the world but when I have to leave and realize I probably won’t see you for at least another 4 months it just makes me sad. I want to thank you for giving me some of the best memories of my life that I will cherish for ever and I hope you and your children live a long and happy life. Good luck with school and the rest of your life.
and this was her response
it looks as though you put a great deal of thought into this before writing it so i know that no matter what i say can persuade you to believe anything other than what you appear to believe. i have never felt that you don't deserve my friendship until now, but with that said i don't wish bad things for you, you are already so able and willing to destroy your life without assistance.
i'm aware that i have faults but choosing my children over a social life is not one of them
like what the fuck bitch?? i never asked you to chose a social life over your kids..not even once...hers what i just sent her back
My intentions were never to make you mad by doing this Katie. All I wanted to do was let you know and hope you would understand how I feel, but you responded exactly the way I expected and that’s with anger. It’s obvious you are an angry person. You don’t wish bad upon me because I am already so able and willing to destroy my life without assistance? What is it exactly that I do to myself to destroy my life? Maybe if you had put any effort into knowing me you would know I have taken steps to better myself over the last 2 years. I got rid of all the negative influences in my life that I could and have surrounded myself with better more positive people. People that I wanted so badly for you to be a part of. I used to be a person filled with anger myself and unable to be positive. That is different now, I have learned so much about myself and my emotions. It may not sound like a big deal to you but in my eyes it is a huge step in getting over my past, and that is step one in moving forward in life. you always jumped to criticized my past and talked negatively about me in order to try and get me to better myself rather then talk positively and encourage me to look past my past and into the future and what it could hold. I also never once asked you to sacrifice your kid’s lives for a social life, not one time. All I wanted was to be a part of yours and there lives and you never gave me that chance. I told you multiple times last summer “bring the kids over to shirls (shirl is a good friend of mine that katie knows and i am always at her house with her kids) we can hang out and the kid’s can all play”, and you never once took advantage of that offer. I didn’t ask you to neglect your kids, all I asked for was a phone call once a month or a text here and there saying hey how yak been. Something that takes 5 seconds out of your day that has 86400 seconds. Would I love to know how you feel about all this underneath all that anger sure of course. Do I ever expect to? No, the only emotions you were ever will to share with me were sometimes happy and anger. You always hid your true issues behind your anger and I hope you realize that. Ill always hold a special spot in my heart for you, the things you taught me, and the memories we created and shared together. I don’t want this to be something were bitter about but it really frustrates me that the first thing you do after I send a message about the way I feel that was as nice as I could be you jump to try and drag me down right away.
probably get a lot of tl, dr out of this lol
this is probably the hardest thing i have ever done in my life but its been years coming...and i don't know why i feel the need to air personal shit out on here as some of you may use it against me in the future but hell this place is like family to me...and this is all a part of getting over this
This is something I never hoped to write, but it’s something I have put off for far too long. I have come to the conclusion that it is not longer healthy for me too try so hard to be a part of your life. For a long time now I have been willing to sacrifice myself and my feelings just to try and have any part in your life. Iv gone out of the way and made many efforts to play some kind of role in your life, wither its bugging you to come hang out, messaging you on facebook, text you ect. And to me it’s obvious that you could really care less. You have made no effort and never have. Iv always been the one who had to initiate it if we were going to hang out, I was always the one to ask how you were doing, or how have you been, and I honestly don’t remember a time where you ever called/texted me just to say hey, or see how I was doing. You can say you’re busy with work, school and your babies, but the fact is that would be a bunch of bullshit. Sure you’re busy but it doesn’t take a huge chuck of your day to say hi once a month. I just can’t take holding inside all these fucked up emotions for the betterment of a friendship that is clearly not there. We used to be so close, and I know with time things can change but you now have a daughter that is over a year old who I still have not met. I know I made my mistakes and that I probably brought this upon myself but why keep stringing me alone when you clearly do not give a shit. I did every thing I could to draw the line over the last two years and respect the boundaries we have rhetorically set for each other. I feel like IV tried everything I could to make this friendship work but now that I realize its all one sided it is not worth it for me any more. You said the other day that I don’t have the ability to do anything for myself which I agree is true, but I have finally decided to do something for me that I have to do. I feel like I have no other choice but to cut ties. The final tie we have is the money I owe you and I hope to have you paid off sometime in April so I can cut that final tie. It just hurts me to much to see you and your daughter (who IV seen what likes 4-5 times in 2.5 year) and realize that I can not be even a small part of your lives. When I see you its awesome, I have no other care in the world but when I have to leave and realize I probably won’t see you for at least another 4 months it just makes me sad. I want to thank you for giving me some of the best memories of my life that I will cherish for ever and I hope you and your children live a long and happy life. Good luck with school and the rest of your life.
and this was her response
it looks as though you put a great deal of thought into this before writing it so i know that no matter what i say can persuade you to believe anything other than what you appear to believe. i have never felt that you don't deserve my friendship until now, but with that said i don't wish bad things for you, you are already so able and willing to destroy your life without assistance.
i'm aware that i have faults but choosing my children over a social life is not one of them
like what the fuck bitch?? i never asked you to chose a social life over your kids..not even once...hers what i just sent her back
My intentions were never to make you mad by doing this Katie. All I wanted to do was let you know and hope you would understand how I feel, but you responded exactly the way I expected and that’s with anger. It’s obvious you are an angry person. You don’t wish bad upon me because I am already so able and willing to destroy my life without assistance? What is it exactly that I do to myself to destroy my life? Maybe if you had put any effort into knowing me you would know I have taken steps to better myself over the last 2 years. I got rid of all the negative influences in my life that I could and have surrounded myself with better more positive people. People that I wanted so badly for you to be a part of. I used to be a person filled with anger myself and unable to be positive. That is different now, I have learned so much about myself and my emotions. It may not sound like a big deal to you but in my eyes it is a huge step in getting over my past, and that is step one in moving forward in life. you always jumped to criticized my past and talked negatively about me in order to try and get me to better myself rather then talk positively and encourage me to look past my past and into the future and what it could hold. I also never once asked you to sacrifice your kid’s lives for a social life, not one time. All I wanted was to be a part of yours and there lives and you never gave me that chance. I told you multiple times last summer “bring the kids over to shirls (shirl is a good friend of mine that katie knows and i am always at her house with her kids) we can hang out and the kid’s can all play”, and you never once took advantage of that offer. I didn’t ask you to neglect your kids, all I asked for was a phone call once a month or a text here and there saying hey how yak been. Something that takes 5 seconds out of your day that has 86400 seconds. Would I love to know how you feel about all this underneath all that anger sure of course. Do I ever expect to? No, the only emotions you were ever will to share with me were sometimes happy and anger. You always hid your true issues behind your anger and I hope you realize that. Ill always hold a special spot in my heart for you, the things you taught me, and the memories we created and shared together. I don’t want this to be something were bitter about but it really frustrates me that the first thing you do after I send a message about the way I feel that was as nice as I could be you jump to try and drag me down right away.
probably get a lot of tl, dr out of this lol
this is probably the hardest thing i have ever done in my life but its been years coming...and i don't know why i feel the need to air personal shit out on here as some of you may use it against me in the future but hell this place is like family to me...and this is all a part of getting over this
Comments
It's wonderful you have let her know how you feel, and that you've gotten all of these feelings out. Trust me, I write huge rants to myself all the time. However, instead of cutting all ties with her, maybe you could of just let her know how you've been feeling and how much it's upset you.
And please don't take any of that as if I'm trying to bash you or anything, I'm only trying to make you feel better because I totally know how it feels when you think your friends couldn't care less about you. I wish you the best of luck with your situation, and I hope you feel better!
Sometimes when I go into depressive modes or feel like I'm stuck, I don't contact anybody at all and just hide. Maybe she has other internal issues she is trying to deal with and didn't want to bother you or anyone else about it. Again, I don't know.
I think you did the right thing. you got the balls to man up and lay your feelings out on the table, that takes some courage, alot of people would just ignore the person and keep getting walked all over. I think it's a good thing for people to vent and let out what is really bothering them inside.
I feel through her respone, she doesnt give a fuck what happens either way, so this might be the best thing for you. like distance said, people grow apart and shit happens. i wouldnt want to be used by other people either man. but also maybe this will have a different affect, maybe she'll realize after a few days or whatever that youre a good person and were just being genuine and she'll want you in her life and make an effort.
either way man you made the right descision by not hiding your feelings and telling it how it is. i hope everything works out for you broseph! just know you did the right thinkg and had to get your feeling out. you never know, this might change your relationship with her ina positive direction, or you'll find out the truth of who she really is. good luck homie! *brofist*