My friend wanted to go see A Perfect Circle because he's a big Tool fan, and he's familiar with some APC stuff, and he thought this was the closest he'd be in awhile.
Me: Tool. September 27. Detroit Dillon: Are you fucking kidding me? I love every song by Tool. I like 6 songs by A Perfect Circle. And now you're gonna lay this shit on me after I just bought tickets. Thanks Maynard.
Try reading that with a Lewis Black attitude...because he's basically a little Lewis Black.
Our school has this drug counselor, and even if they just find ciggs on you, they send you to her for at least three meetings. This kid had K2, beer, weed, and shot gun shells in his car...they sent him to her of course. Yesterday when she walked in and said his name he goes:
"Jesus fucking Christ it's just weed, and I happen to like to smoke it. I'm not a fucking drug addict."
Me: So if a tornado destroyed the school, we would get summer vacation early right? Teacher: <_> girl: Will's gonna talk to God tonight! Teacher: He needs to...
Me: So if a tornado destroyed the school, we would get summer vacation early right? Teacher: <_> girl: Will's gonna talk to God tonight! Teacher: He needs to...
I talked my way out of parking ticket at my college today
Me: I was just visting yesterday and didn't know you have to get a parking tag Cop: Your not a student here Me: i am coming here next semester Cop: you don't have to pay the fine then
In the dining hall, while getting pasta made for me...
Guy: What would you like with your pasta? Me: Some red peppers and a bit of garlic. Guy: Garlic? You sure that wouldn't kill you? Me: Huh? Guy: You're like ultra pale. Me: So. That has nothing to do with me wanting garlic. Guy: I thought vampires were allergic to garlic. Me: I really hate this school sometimes. Guy: Yeah, me too.
Comments
-One of my station managers on the news today when asked about the rodent that knocked out the power to the school.
"Jesus fucking Christ it's just weed, and I happen to like to smoke it. I'm not a fucking drug addict."
My boyfriend: Touch myself to Rob Halford's voice.
L-)
Teacher: <_>
girl: Will's gonna talk to God tonight!
Teacher: He needs to...
Me: I was just visting yesterday and didn't know you have to get a parking tag
Cop: Your not a student here
Me: i am coming here next semester
Cop: you don't have to pay the fine then
haha dumbass motherfucker. fuck paying a fine
Guy: What would you like with your pasta?
Me: Some red peppers and a bit of garlic.
Guy: Garlic? You sure that wouldn't kill you?
Me: Huh?
Guy: You're like ultra pale.
Me: So. That has nothing to do with me wanting garlic.
Guy: I thought vampires were allergic to garlic.
Me: I really hate this school sometimes.
Guy: Yeah, me too.