I went on a rant about how writing was driving me crazy and how I had so much to do.
My best friend: I have no idea what you just said. Me: What part of what I said was cryptic? My best friend: I don't know. Me: Why? My best friend: I don't know what cryptic means.
Lol you and your bestfriend seem like complete opposites.
-We're going to poison them, so if you want to live, I suggest you get a gas mask.
--Couldn't you just like..slip something in their drink? Not spread poisonous gases throughout your house? Nobody is going to want to buy a deadly house with dead people in it.
Lol you and your bestfriend seem like complete opposites.
We are.
Anyway...
"I was sitting at a dinner in D.C. and I look over to the guy next to me, who was somewhat young mind you, and this elderly black woman who was nearly seventy, was sticking her tongue in his ear. I was like, whoa! What the fuck! I swear ladies, never work in D.C."-My Women's Studies professor.
-Taffy's birthday is today. --Well, at least we know she will stay on the sidewalk. -What....? --that's the only thing I ever head her say when we were at Girl Scout Camp. "LADIES! STAY! ON! THE! SIDEWALK!!!"
On my friends facebook she was talking about how her son hit her in the back of the knee. Her friend posted "Well, maybe that's his version of a donkey punch" -"What's a donkey punch?" -"OMGLMFAO, Go ask Gary (her husband)" -"I just did. OMG you men make me sick"
"I'm really close to writing herpderp on my windshield and parking in a handicap spot." - me, texting my friend while trying to find an impossible spot to park at OU.
What does OU stand for? I've seen someone else type that and I'm trying to figure out the correlation....
"I'm really close to writing herpderp on my windshield and parking in a handicap spot." - me, texting my friend while trying to find an impossible spot to park at OU.
What does OU stand for? I've seen someone else type that and I'm trying to figure out the correlation....
At my friends camper last night, one of them decided to bring a new lady friend
Boy: So you guys do anything? Be honest...seriously guys Boy 2: No dude just chill we didn't do anything she's on her period Girl: We didn't do anything, don't worry. Me: Alright the blanket was moving for no reason haha it's okay guys
*10 minutes later, they think everyone is sleeping* Girl: Is it really possible to get pregnant if you swallow? Me: I'm no doctor, but I believe the answer is no. *silence* Me: Get some
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My best friend: I have no idea what you just said.
Me: What part of what I said was cryptic?
My best friend: I don't know.
Me: Why?
My best friend: I don't know what cryptic means.
~X(
-We're going to poison them, so if you want to live, I suggest you get a gas mask.
--Couldn't you just like..slip something in their drink? Not spread poisonous gases throughout your house? Nobody is going to want to buy a deadly house with dead people in it.
Anyway...
"I was sitting at a dinner in D.C. and I look over to the guy next to me, who was somewhat young mind you, and this elderly black woman who was nearly seventy, was sticking her tongue in his ear. I was like, whoa! What the fuck! I swear ladies, never work in D.C."-My Women's Studies professor.
-Me: "Thanks"
Doctor: "They always seem to bring up an interesting topic"
-"what...?"
-"you're both incredibly pretty."
Awww!
--Well, at least we know she will stay on the sidewalk.
-What....?
--that's the only thing I ever head her say when we were at Girl Scout Camp. "LADIES! STAY! ON! THE! SIDEWALK!!!"
-"What's a donkey punch?"
-"OMGLMFAO, Go ask Gary (her husband)"
-"I just did. OMG you men make me sick"
-I dont even know who said this, I just heard it yesterday
Thank you.
my son = "Daddy wants to die"
Boy: So you guys do anything? Be honest...seriously guys
Boy 2: No dude just chill we didn't do anything she's on her period
Girl: We didn't do anything, don't worry.
Me: Alright the blanket was moving for no reason haha it's okay guys
*10 minutes later, they think everyone is sleeping*
Girl: Is it really possible to get pregnant if you swallow?
Me: I'm no doctor, but I believe the answer is no.
*silence*
Me: Get some