Post your favorite quotes that someone said something you said or something you overheard today

Necrothulhu

LOL

JLRedWing13

My friend texted me and asked me how to get semen stains out of a black leather car.

I sent him back the jay face.

YES! *brofist*

OPP

I use it when I talk with my friends all the time.

The most memorable was:

roommate: Hey bro, we can't use the sofa anymore. It's kinda broken...
me: Aw that sucks. So was that girl over on Saturday?
roommate: yeah...
me: <_>

Rex_Capone420

how do you break a sofa so you cant use it any more?

JLRedWing13

LMAO!!!!!!!

drinkwine732

hhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

NOLA

"no chicken? Or are they just out of chicken?"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pyW6w5B7Aw

ComptonAssBerto

"Tonight, customers were 'clucking' their disapproval."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I GET IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

Gazorpazorpfield

As soon as I said that line, in my mind I would be telling myself how much I hate my job
1:00 Hard working black man

Andysback

The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this, the male uses his penis to DRILL A VAGINA into the female

OPP

Brvtal.

ZmbieFlavrdCupcakes

WHOAAAAAA NO WAY

drinkwine732

I drill with the ferocity of a bedbug.

Andysback

Women speak about 7000 words a day. The average man averages just over 2000.

JLRedWing13

lmao

ZmbieFlavrdCupcakes

i can believe that

JLRedWing13

Indeed. <_>

ZmbieFlavrdCupcakes

its why i have a high post count
I HAVE SHIT TO SAY!

Andysback

thats pretty much all you say too

ZmbieFlavrdCupcakes

inorite?
if i didnt say it here then it would clog my toilet!