I don't know what I think/feel at this point. It seems like I go from getting over her, to back interested, to getting over her again every other month.
I was over her. I seriously was. I didn't care if she didn't like me, or if she hooked up with or started dating other guys. And at this point I'm "ok" with it - its her life and I can't control that, and honestly I have to prepare myself for it anyway.
When I'm away at school and we aren't talking all the time, or when we are hanging out, but things are just friendly hangouts - Its easy for me to feel over her.
But when we're texting every day, or hanging out every weekend, or hangouts get flirty or whatever (like last weekend) - Then I get roped back in.
It sucks. And my emotional and mental health are being destroyed by the constant back-and-forth, on-again-off-again, maybe-she-is-maybe-she-isn't bullshit.
I don't know what to do. Despite all my efforts, I can't control my emotions. I can't control how I feel about her, or how I don't feel about her. Or how a feel/don't feel about other girls. I really do think this girl is special. And I can't see myself with any other girl that I know right now. But she's obviously not on the same page, otherwise she would have said something to me that she changed her mind about dating me.
And I don't want to lose her as a friend either, so I don't want to say something that would make her really uncomfortable around me or whatever.
It's a lose-lose for me. Nothing I can do will help me, it all depends on how she feels towards me at this point. And I don't think there is anything I can do at this point to win her over.
It sucks. And my emotional and mental health are being destroyed by the constant back-and-forth, on-again-off-again, maybe-she-is-maybe-she-isn't bullshit.
Exactly my point. You gotta put a stop to this bullshit at all costs. I've been here, and so has probably every guy on this forum. And that's why you must take my previous advice and find out the real answers so you can help end this exact bullshit. Im serious dude. Ive got empathy for you today, and so my advice is legit. Not trying to fuck your shit up, but this sort of bullshit needs to end for your own mental health. If you know the answers to this question of 'why', then that will help give you the perspective you need to kinda control those emotions.
It's like a bandaid that needs to come off. You can either slowly try and rock it off and live with this constant pain that's driving you crazy, OR you rip the fucker off, might hurt for a second, but then you instantly start to heal.
There's a lot of fear there. I don't want to lose her as a friend. And I don't want to completely lose that hope that she might change her mind (even if deep down I know she probably won't). I honestly don't think there will ever be another girl after this one. So the fear of that plays into it as well.
Yeah dude, just ask her why she isn't into you. Don't fall for that is she, isn't she bullshit. She flat out isn't. If she was you would know for sure. Shes straight up using you for the attention she needs that she isn't getting elsewhere. As soon as she finds it she will abandon ship with you. Its best just to get it out there. Fuck timing. Even if im wrong timing won't matter because if she likes you she will like you regardless of when you have this "talk"
There's a lot of fear there. I don't want to lose her as a friend. And I don't want to completely lose that hope that she might change her mind (even if deep down I know she probably won't). I honestly don't think there will ever be another girl after this one. So the fear of that plays into it as well.
I've felt exactly like this before... And who knows, perhaps asking her why will provide her the opportunity to finally have the courage to say she changed her mind. Girls really don't like being the one to make a 'move' and if she did change her mind then you wont ever know unless you ask why and get to the bottom of it. And if she hasn't changed her mind, at least you now will have the knowledge of why, which will help in healing. If the friendship is as good as you say it is, then this wouldnt ruin it. If this did ruin it, was it ever worth saving in the first place?
Also I'd put serious money on there being other girls out there that you would fall far just as hard as you fell for her. You can't see that now because you are so close to the situation, however when time has healed these wounds you would discover these others I talk about.
Lastly - To quote batman. "You fear what you don't understand"
There's a lot of fear there. I don't want to lose her as a friend. And I don't want to completely lose that hope that she might change her mind (even if deep down I know she probably won't). I honestly don't think there will ever be another girl after this one. So the fear of that plays into it as well.
Also I'd put serious money on there being other girls out there that you would fall far just as hard as you fell for her.
Yeah dude, just ask her why she isn't into you. Don't fall for that is she, isn't she bullshit. She flat out isn't. If she was you would know for sure. Shes straight up using you for the attention she needs that she isn't getting elsewhere. As soon as she finds it she will abandon ship with you. Its best just to get it out there. Fuck timing. Even if im wrong timing won't matter because if she likes you she will like you regardless of when you have this "talk"
There's a lot of fear there. I don't want to lose her as a friend. And I don't want to completely lose that hope that she might change her mind (even if deep down I know she probably won't). I honestly don't think there will ever be another girl after this one. So the fear of that plays into it as well.
Also I'd put serious money on there being other girls out there that you would fall far just as hard as you fell for her.
To repeat the cycle
Nah dude... cause eventually you will find one who is just as crazy about you as you are about her. When you do it wont be repeating that cycle of hurt... no... you see you will then get married, get a dog, start having kids, move to the burbs, get a shitty desk job where you have to constantly kiss your asshole bosses ass such that you can afford to keep your little shit kids decked out in dora the explorer bullshit, with a wife that has stopped sucking your dick, just to bide enough time until you finally work up the courage to stick a gun in your mouth and end it. :-bd
But nah, I've yet to find a girl into me like I've ever been into a girl. Both relationships I've had I put more into it.
Yeah that's how it is at your age man. Between HS-College it was 100% me chasing tail and girls not really being all that into me. After college that started changing. I was more mature, and women were also more mature, and people start looking for that long term relationship. Any relationship that happens before the age of say 25, probably wont work out. Not impossible, not saying it isnt, but statistically probably less likely of making it. People change a lot between 13-25, and starting a life long relationship during that change is probably not a good thing. You'll see... Just don't worry about it man. Tell this current girl to tell you 'why' and don't be too dramatic when eventually the friendship ends. Cause it probably will.... Or you two will be together and it wont. that's really the only two possible outcomes of this. because it can't stay the way it is forever. Im sure you know that.
Dude you act like you have life figured out at 21 )
you should just stfu, sit back and enjoy the ride. You will be a different person in 5 years than you are from now, and an even different person in 10 years. Quit acting like life is a straight line from birth to death. You seriously need to open your mind.
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I was over her. I seriously was. I didn't care if she didn't like me, or if she hooked up with or started dating other guys. And at this point I'm "ok" with it - its her life and I can't control that, and honestly I have to prepare myself for it anyway.
When I'm away at school and we aren't talking all the time, or when we are hanging out, but things are just friendly hangouts - Its easy for me to feel over her.
But when we're texting every day, or hanging out every weekend, or hangouts get flirty or whatever (like last weekend) - Then I get roped back in.
It sucks. And my emotional and mental health are being destroyed by the constant back-and-forth, on-again-off-again, maybe-she-is-maybe-she-isn't bullshit.
I don't know what to do. Despite all my efforts, I can't control my emotions. I can't control how I feel about her, or how I don't feel about her. Or how a feel/don't feel about other girls. I really do think this girl is special. And I can't see myself with any other girl that I know right now. But she's obviously not on the same page, otherwise she would have said something to me that she changed her mind about dating me.
And I don't want to lose her as a friend either, so I don't want to say something that would make her really uncomfortable around me or whatever.
It's a lose-lose for me. Nothing I can do will help me, it all depends on how she feels towards me at this point. And I don't think there is anything I can do at this point to win her over.
It's like a bandaid that needs to come off. You can either slowly try and rock it off and live with this constant pain that's driving you crazy, OR you rip the fucker off, might hurt for a second, but then you instantly start to heal.
There's a lot of fear there. I don't want to lose her as a friend. And I don't want to completely lose that hope that she might change her mind (even if deep down I know she probably won't). I honestly don't think there will ever be another girl after this one. So the fear of that plays into it as well.
Also I'd put serious money on there being other girls out there that you would fall far just as hard as you fell for her. You can't see that now because you are so close to the situation, however when time has healed these wounds you would discover these others I talk about.
Lastly - To quote batman. "You fear what you don't understand"
you should just stfu, sit back and enjoy the ride. You will be a different person in 5 years than you are from now, and an even different person in 10 years. Quit acting like life is a straight line from birth to death. You seriously need to open your mind.