Im thinking about breaking up with her. Im so conflicted. I really like her, and dont want to hurt her. But jesus christ she has a lot of baggage and a history I cannot get behind. Whenever I think I heard the worst of it, she has another story. And its to the point I think she'll never truly be open and vulnerable with me. Especially sexually, I feel like she just says what she says to try and calm me down because she really wants me to fuck her, but I dont think she actually puts any significance or meaning in sex beyond when she lost her virginity. And thats not ok with me.
Arrested, kicked out of house for stealing from parents, sexual baggage with exes, sexual assault, technically was statuatory raped, pill abuse, cutting and self harm, total lack of ambition, had a falling out with literally all of her friends... that sort of baggage.
Is she still doing these things? If not, then so what? If she's moving forward what does it matter what she did
These things didnt happen that long ago...
Idk. She talked about some things last night that really bothered me. Especially when she started talking about sex. She was basically told me "I know you want to be my best and make it mean something, but you just need to fuck me already". And went into how she thinks losing your virginity should be special but she just threw it away, but it sucked, but she remembers him, but it was statuatory, but she consented. And when I basically told her it bothers me she's been intimate and vulnerable with other dudes, but I wanted to be the first person she is truely emotionally open to, she pretty much said "thats not happening either".
So I feel like Im just "another" dude she's dating. I'll be just another knotch on the bed post. An unmemorable and meaningless experience. While she still remembers her past sexual experiences.
You're judging her for shit she did in the past. You recently got super fucked up and got your beard drenched in pussy juice by a random gilf at a con.
And what would happen if she was a virgin, you fucked, and it ended up not working out down the road. Would you have just wallowed in self pity and gone back to never talking to anyone? You should consider looking into some form of help/therapy, maybe someone else can talk some sense into you.
Well if this one won't be the special one you want it to be, at least fuck her and get some practice in for down the road if this doesn't work out. I'm being serious man.
And what would happen if she was a virgin, you fucked, and it ended up not working out down the road. Would you have just wallowed in self pity and gone back to never talking to anyone? You should consider looking into some form of help/therapy, maybe someone else can talk some sense into you.
Probably. But at least we're on even ground and I wouldnt have to worry about her reflecting on memories of other dudes.
Well if this one won't be the special one you want it to be, at least fuck her and get some practice in for down the road if this doesn't work out. I'm being serious man.
No thats hypocritical and I want it to have meaning.
Comments
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blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
I feel bad, but she's up there, and Im down here.
Idk. She talked about some things last night that really bothered me. Especially when she started talking about sex. She was basically told me "I know you want to be my best and make it mean something, but you just need to fuck me already". And went into how she thinks losing your virginity should be special but she just threw it away, but it sucked, but she remembers him, but it was statuatory, but she consented. And when I basically told her it bothers me she's been intimate and vulnerable with other dudes, but I wanted to be the first person she is truely emotionally open to, she pretty much said "thats not happening either".
So I feel like Im just "another" dude she's dating. I'll be just another knotch on the bed post. An unmemorable and meaningless experience. While she still remembers her past sexual experiences.
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Bottom line, I didnt have sex though. Let alone multiple times.
Sorry. I just cant get over it. Ive been trying. But I cant get over the thought of her being intimate with another.
No thats hypocritical and I want it to have meaning.