If that's the only thing you wanna pull out of that, then yea. But only because of individual/unique style. Bitches ain't give no shits before the tattoos and expensive clothes. Shit like that will definitely help and give you an initial step up, but it ain't shit if you a lame ass mf once they approach you or vice versa.
7 Glorious Attributes Fat Guys Can Use to Get Laid
Fat Dad Appeal
If a pretty girl has caught your eyes long enough to tear you away from your daydreams of deep-fried pizza coney dogs, there is an initial step you need to find out first. Does she have a fat dad? Does she have a fat brother? If the answer is yes, than this is an Achilles heel that you can expose to work your way in there. Fat men mean the world to her, be jolly and smooth and maybe, just maybe you will be given the green light to show her 10 bad minutes!!
Masters of Cunnilingus
During the short stretches of time between jerking off and eating, every chunky fella in the universe should be dedicating themselves to the art of Cunnilingus. We are givers. And because of all the chewing we do in the offseason… our jaw muscles are mighty. A fat man that excels in this department will ensure his way to a repeat customer. Eating is in our souls.
Culinary Skills
Getting a smoking hot little vixen to overlook your decades of holiday pounds is no easy task. You will need to do everything in your power to make her accept the fact that you both have boobs. Naturally, as a large man… an understanding of the culinary arts is weaved into the very fabric of your being. Use it, impress her with a delicious homemade meal. This will mean that she is already in your house and you will be one step closer to being one of her bad decisions!
Less Judgement
Hot chicks have had to deal with good looking dudes as far back as they remember. Good looking bros have little patience for girls that let themselves go in any of the looks department. A fat guy is the Jedi to the good looking guy's Sith. Judge, do not and get laid you will. Be careful though, being too nice and complimentary can lead to the friendzone. Tread lightly, heavy brethren.
All Our Shirts Can Double as Comfortable Girl's Sleepwear
A girl is programmed with an intense love for comfortable sleepwear. This is a natural evolution that is necessary, because if a girl didn't wear that old faded out shirt and aweful ass-eclipsing sweat pants and slept naked.. we would literally NEVER stop trying to bang them and they wouldn't get any sleep. A girl will love the fact that all of your shirts can double as a tent cape!
We Let You Take Control in Bed
Understand, that your physical nature makes it risky to bang like an angry rabbit. Spin this around. Get her motor running, and let her take charge. Letting her be on top is a fat guy's best position. You'll save precious energy for the snack run you'll embark on while she's sleeping.
We Are Naturally Funnier
While it seems like absolute lies, a girl really will appreciate a sense of humor. Most fat guys have learned over the years that they have a natural ability to bring the chuckles. Be funny, make her laugh, but don't self deprecate too much or your wide ass will be firmly planted in the hopeless void we know as the friendzone.
Heed this advice my rotund brothers and you could find yourself makin' the sex with a lady that doesn't look like John Madden in drag!"
In actually giving my friend the advice you guys are giving.
Same friend who just got zoned by that chick a few days ago. There's two other girls he's interested in already. But he "wants to make sure they like him first" before he asks one of them out.
So I just told him "beating around the dick is what makes you friendzoned", and told him to just ask one of them out.
He doesn't need to pork them on the fist date....it's just a date....jeez just go to a movie or have a drink together or something ....and he'll get a feel for whether they actually get on and have things in common
Comments
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7 Glorious Attributes Fat Guys Can Use to Get Laid
Fat Dad Appeal
If a pretty girl has caught your eyes long enough to tear you away from your daydreams of deep-fried pizza coney dogs, there is an initial step you need to find out first. Does she have a fat dad? Does she have a fat brother? If the answer is yes, than this is an Achilles heel that you can expose to work your way in there. Fat men mean the world to her, be jolly and smooth and maybe, just maybe you will be given the green light to show her 10 bad minutes!!
Masters of Cunnilingus
During the short stretches of time between jerking off and eating, every chunky fella in the universe should be dedicating themselves to the art of Cunnilingus. We are givers. And because of all the chewing we do in the offseason… our jaw muscles are mighty. A fat man that excels in this department will ensure his way to a repeat customer. Eating is in our souls.
Culinary Skills
Getting a smoking hot little vixen to overlook your decades of holiday pounds is no easy task. You will need to do everything in your power to make her accept the fact that you both have boobs. Naturally, as a large man… an understanding of the culinary arts is weaved into the very fabric of your being. Use it, impress her with a delicious homemade meal. This will mean that she is already in your house and you will be one step closer to being one of her bad decisions!
Less Judgement
Hot chicks have had to deal with good looking dudes as far back as they remember. Good looking bros have little patience for girls that let themselves go in any of the looks department. A fat guy is the Jedi to the good looking guy's Sith. Judge, do not and get laid you will. Be careful though, being too nice and complimentary can lead to the friendzone. Tread lightly, heavy brethren.
All Our Shirts Can Double as Comfortable Girl's Sleepwear
A girl is programmed with an intense love for comfortable sleepwear. This is a natural evolution that is necessary, because if a girl didn't wear that old faded out shirt and aweful ass-eclipsing sweat pants and slept naked.. we would literally NEVER stop trying to bang them and they wouldn't get any sleep. A girl will love the fact that all of your shirts can double as a tent cape!
We Let You Take Control in Bed
Understand, that your physical nature makes it risky to bang like an angry rabbit. Spin this around. Get her motor running, and let her take charge. Letting her be on top is a fat guy's best position. You'll save precious energy for the snack run you'll embark on while she's sleeping.
We Are Naturally Funnier
While it seems like absolute lies, a girl really will appreciate a sense of humor. Most fat guys have learned over the years that they have a natural ability to bring the chuckles. Be funny, make her laugh, but don't self deprecate too much or your wide ass will be firmly planted in the hopeless void we know as the friendzone.
Heed this advice my rotund brothers and you could find yourself makin' the sex with a lady that doesn't look like John Madden in drag!"
Same friend who just got zoned by that chick a few days ago. There's two other girls he's interested in already. But he "wants to make sure they like him first" before he asks one of them out.
So I just told him "beating around the dick is what makes you friendzoned", and told him to just ask one of them out.
Hope it works for him.
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Waitress: "oh you're feeling adventureous huh?"
Me: "no, im just weird"
"yeah i am feeling adventurous, do you have a back yard?"
when she says " yes"
then say " good, can my dog come over and play in it?"
probably will get her number