Well when courtney and I were split up I was bored so i looked up massages on Craig's list because I didn't want to leave the house. Ended up with a massage and a happy ending. I should have know better but im not ashamed.
You tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
Well when courtney and I were split up I was bored so i looked up massages on Craig's list because I didn't want to leave the house. Ended up with a massage and a happy ending. I should have know better but im not ashamed.
A few years back I was at a Deicide show in winter 2012. Necrobutcher was visiting his then gf who lived here and he was hanging with a few of my friends. I got to meet him and then i was invited to party after the show with him, deicide and friends. Feeling pretty good abd stepped outside Reggies bar for a smoke. Out comes this girl who was at the bar who is a midget and asks me for a light. Hook her up and she blantantly asks me to jump in a cab with her to go back to her place. We finish our smoke and i go back in. My friends were laughing at what i just told them and outta nowhere this midget comes in and says she got a cab am i in it out.. My friends are like uhhh ya hes staying to party with bands.. I dipset to see where things go with this midget. We go to a bar by her apartment and everyone knows her and she starts telling everyone im in a band and she convinced me to travel off the path for the night. Have few beers and bar closes. Go outside and she demands we go to my house.. I go lolno i live 30 min away you live 3 blocks away. She demands i get a cab to go the 3 blocks. I say lolno ill just leave. She says heres my addy walk if you want. Being curious i walked the 3 blocks. She pulls up in a cab almost simultaneously. She walks me into her apartment. ABSOLUTELYDISGUSTING.jpg dozen cats, smells like shit, stuff all on the ground. My phone is almost dead at this point so im fucked. I ask to use washroom she says no and i say i gotta pee. She agrees so i go to bathroom. Equally dirty and toilet clogged. She tells me she has no plunger and deal with it. I piss in her shower. Go to her room where she naked fingering herself. My clothes get taken off and bitch pounces on me. Gets on top and tries to put my dick in.. I go hol up let me get condom. Cunt fuckin slaps me like its an insult.. So she lays down as i put on condom. Get it on and go to eat her out.. She cold clocks the side of my head and says just fuck me. So i decided to pound her like ive never done to anyone before because shes being mean and i wanted to destroy a midget. Do the deed and go back to bathroom to dispose of condom. Get out and return to her room. SHES FUCKING PASSED OUT SNORING! I get excited cuz thats my out. I found my jeans, shirt n shoes and my leather jacket but no socks or undies. Battery too loo to use light. Rather save it for ride home call to friend. As i put my clothes on all theee cats surround me purring and im scared shes gonna wake up. Go to her fridge as i put clothes on and stole a few pbrs. Get clothes on and exit her apartment. Find myself in a hallway of doors across from each other. Dont remember which one i got in thru. Start jiggling handles. Dude comes out and asks if im lost and helped me out. I run to front. The place has gates around it with one entrance outside. Im in such a rush and drunk enough to where gate wont open. I struggled and said fuck it.. Climbed up the fencing. Fencing at top is spikey.. Counted to 3 and hoiseted myself over and landed on my shoulder. Checked to make sure had keys, phone, wallet and pbr.. Ran lile hell for a few blocks.. Called my friend who was still at reggies and he picked me up.
Thats my story about fucking a midget after leaving an afterparty with bands and then having to find my inner ninja to escape.
I ask to use washroom she says no and i say i gotta pee. She agrees so i go to bathroom. Equally dirty and toilet clogged. She tells me she has no plunger and deal with it. I piss in her shower.
A few years back I was at a Deicide show in winter 2012. Necrobutcher was visiting his then gf who lived here and he was hanging with a few of my friends. I got to meet him and then i was invited to party after the show with him, deicide and friends. Feeling pretty good abd stepped outside Reggies bar for a smoke. Out comes this girl who was at the bar who is a midget and asks me for a light. Hook her up and she blantantly asks me to jump in a cab with her to go back to her place. We finish our smoke and i go back in. My friends were laughing at what i just told them and outta nowhere this midget comes in and says she got a cab am i in it out.. My friends are like uhhh ya hes staying to party with bands.. I dipset to see where things go with this midget. We go to a bar by her apartment and everyone knows her and she starts telling everyone im in a band and she convinced me to travel off the path for the night. Have few beers and bar closes. Go outside and she demands we go to my house.. I go lolno i live 30 min away you live 3 blocks away. She demands i get a cab to go the 3 blocks. I say lolno ill just leave. She says heres my addy walk if you want. Being curious i walked the 3 blocks. She pulls up in a cab almost simultaneously. She walks me into her apartment. ABSOLUTELYDISGUSTING.jpg dozen cats, smells like shit, stuff all on the ground. My phone is almost dead at this point so im fucked. I ask to use washroom she says no and i say i gotta pee. She agrees so i go to bathroom. Equally dirty and toilet clogged. She tells me she has no plunger and deal with it. I piss in her shower. Go to her room where she naked fingering herself. My clothes get taken off and bitch pounces on me. Gets on top and tries to put my dick in.. I go hol up let me get condom. Cunt fuckin slaps me like its an insult.. So she lays down as i put on condom. Get it on and go to eat her out.. She cold clocks the side of my head and says just fuck me. So i decided to pound her like ive never done to anyone before because shes being mean and i wanted to destroy a midget. Do the deed and go back to bathroom to dispose of condom. Get out and return to her room. SHES FUCKING PASSED OUT SNORING! I get excited cuz thats my out. I found my jeans, shirt n shoes and my leather jacket but no socks or undies. Battery too loo to use light. Rather save it for ride home call to friend. As i put my clothes on all theee cats surround me purring and im scared shes gonna wake up. Go to her fridge as i put clothes on and stole a few pbrs. Get clothes on and exit her apartment. Find myself in a hallway of doors across from each other. Dont remember which one i got in thru. Start jiggling handles. Dude comes out and asks if im lost and helped me out. I run to front. The place has gates around it with one entrance outside. Im in such a rush and drunk enough to where gate wont open. I struggled and said fuck it.. Climbed up the fencing. Fencing at top is spikey.. Counted to 3 and hoiseted myself over and landed on my shoulder. Checked to make sure had keys, phone, wallet and pbr.. Ran lile hell for a few blocks.. Called my friend who was still at reggies and he picked me up.
Thats my story about fucking a midget after leaving an afterparty with bands and then having to find my inner ninja to escape.
Well when courtney and I were split up I was bored so i looked up massages on Craig's list because I didn't want to leave the house. Ended up with a massage and a happy ending. I should have know better but im not ashamed.
She was pretty good looking. Petite blonde chick with decent size tits. She was in her upper 20's. Only thing I didn't like was that she smoked a cig right before she came into the apartment. Smelled horrible. Oo well do what you gotta do.
You tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
This girl I used to bump uglies with was staying At my apartment longer than usual (like 5-6 days) and one day she wakes up early and uses the bathroom before me. I go in like 20 minutes later and notice my pube razor isn't in its usual spot :-?. So I ask her "Did you use this blue and silver razor?" and she's all like "No, Why?" I knew she was bullshittin' so I just said "No reason, it doesn't matter" but on the inside, I was like "CUZ I RUB THAT SHIT ALL OVER MY JUNK ON THE REG BITCH" )
Yeah but you were already fucking her and worse case she probably used it on her legs
The best was when three of my friends were sharing an apartment, and after a good 6 months one of them goes "Hey you guys haven't been using my electric shaver have you? I only use that to trim my pubes" they both unison go "WHAT THE FUCK CHASE" and then on about how they'd both been using it and why the fuck would he wait that long to say anything
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Crazy sex stories :!!
Thats my story about fucking a midget after leaving an afterparty with bands and then having to find my inner ninja to escape.
FUCK.
Dat mental image has me fucking losing it Goddamn.
I'd rather a lap dance
His mom works at a ghetto massage parlor
The best was when three of my friends were sharing an apartment, and after a good 6 months one of them goes "Hey you guys haven't been using my electric shaver have you? I only use that to trim my pubes" they both unison go "WHAT THE FUCK CHASE" and then on about how they'd both been using it and why the fuck would he wait that long to say anything