personal shit

WakeOfAshes

I'm bored and no one is talking today so I am just making this random thread...

So last fall my wife and and fell into this routine where I did the entire family weeks laundry (washed/dried/folded) on Sunday. We didn't really discuss it, however I figured if I was doing that she really couldn't get pissed at me if I spent the day watching football. Doing that much laundry really did take about 2 games worth of work. If I had just sat on my ass and watched those games, I believe i would have heard it from her. Maybe not. But I didnt mind doing it especially since I was able to watch the games while doing the work. If I am being honest, I actually liked the work and really looked forward to conscience free football watching. So football ended but I still kept doing it because I could watch a movie or some other shit.

Well in the last two weeks my wife has started taking it upon herself to do the laundry during the week.The problem is that I am sure she is doing it to be nice to me, and I am supposed to appreciate that she is doing it. It is a problem because it's something I'd rather do. And not only that she only washes and drys but doesnt have time to put away so all my clothes get wrinkles and really ends up causing me more work in steaming my clothes for work.

I know this is stupid shit. This isnt really a real problem. But I find it funny that I am not going to say anything to her about this. I've been married long enough to realize that me saying something about this will just result in a big fight about me not appreciating what she does for me. So I just smile and say thanks for all the hard work, while secretly wishing she was more lazy. And she will go on doing extra work thinking I actually appreciate it. It's like this never ending vicious cycle of bullshit. I wish there was a way I could reasonably bridge this conversation but there isnt. the secret to keep a marriage together is to pick you battles.

anyways. what would you do?

WakeOfAshes

hmmm... there is an idea. yeah that probably wouldnt turn into a fight. However I'll bet she'll just say "its no biggie... she doesnt mind doing it".

And I guess I really don't care if she wants to do it, but it's the not folding it that is really what the problem is.

I guess I am under the opinion that if someone is doing something for you, you shouldnt ever tell them they are doing it wrong. That is where the real fight would come from.

SkullAndCrossbones

wake, just put on your "NO MA'AM" shirt and tell that woman her business :-))

WakeOfAshes

yeah... sure would be nice. unfortunately I traded that shirt for this one.

SkullAndCrossbones

serious response, why not just tell her you like doing all the laundry on sundays cause you get to hear/watch the football games while you're doing it?

SkullAndCrossbones

wait, i got a better one. just say something like "honey, i know you're doing to the laundry during the week to help me out and i very much appreciate that but i actually like doing it all on sunday cause i like having the football games on while i do it."

WakeOfAshes

serious response, why not just tell her you like doing all the laundry on sundays cause you get to hear/watch the football games while you're doing it?

because that requires communication. lol. You see, I have come to a point in my marriage where I second guess anything I say to her. I limit my requests to shit that really matters so that it doesnt seem like I am selfish.

I think it works... Hell in two weeks I am flying to SD to see the Big 4 concert!

anyways, I've played it out in my head a few different ways and I don't really see saying something working out on my favor. just not worth it.

WakeOfAshes

wait, i got a better one. just say something like "honey, i know you're doing to the laundry during the week to help me out and i very much appreciate that but i actually like doing it all on sunday cause i like having the football games on while i do it."

yes. I will be saying this next fall when football starts back up because I watch that shit regardless. Right now it isnt really that big of a deal because there isnt much I want to watch on TV. My only real reason for wanting to do it now is that it is something I can do to help around the house and not fuck up. Plus I dont like how she does it

SkullAndCrossbones

oh ok. yeah, you dont wanna tell her shes doing it wrong especially since shes doing it out of pure kindness.

WakeOfAshes

i seriously hope the day never comes where i would have to ask permission to watch football.

Don't have kids then.

SkullAndCrossbones

thats doable lol.

WakeOfAshes

And other married dudes might call bullshit on me.... but frankly I believe it to be true of all marriages.

(warning - unrelated political rant)

The problem is the court system is so fucking loped sided in favor of the women. A girl has to be a real Britney Spears to lose custody of the children, and not receive a shit load in the form of child support and alimony. And that is really what it comes down to. I keep my mouth shut and pick my battles to prevent my marriage from falling apart for the sake of the kids.

If i didnt have kids, My wife would know exactly what I am thinking and doing, and if she didnt like it then she could leave. But I know what would happen in the court system so I byte my lips. Keep it inside.... The kids wont always be young, and it wont always be this way... but that is a fact of life as far as I am concerned.

SkullAndCrossbones

yeah whats with that shit? a couple gets divorced the woman gets half of everything along with alimony checks!? why don't she just get a damn job.

SkullAndCrossbones

granted, guys have been known to marry rich women then divorce them just to get half of what they have but whats with the alimony?

WakeOfAshes

granted, guys have been known to marry rich women then divorce them just to get half of what they have but whats with the alimony?

it's bullshit. My guess is some sort of backlash from when women had no rights. I really can't figure it out....

If a couple with kids no longer wishes to be married, then the court system should just split everything 50/50 (assets + Debts but not future assets). They should be forced to work out some sort of amicable compromise with regards to the care of the kids... And if one of the two isnt being reasonable, then they are the ones that should be penalized with child support or some bullshit like that.

I just don't get why someone like me, who is a great dad and cares about his kids greatly, would be so financially ruined by a divorce that I would struggle to keep a roof over my head. It's bullshit. So what do I do? Keep my mouth shut and bide my time for when I don't have to watch what I say.

And dont misunderstand me... My marriage is fine. Im not saying ill be getting a divorce when my kids turn 18. I am saying though that I watch what I say now, and wont when my kids are 18. Once they are 18 she really doesnt have anything of importance that she could hold over my head in court if things ever went that route.

SkullAndCrossbones

its funny, sometimes i think women dont have 100% equal rights is because they deep down or even subcontiously dont want equal rights.

WakeOfAshes

Why don't they have equal rights? If anything I think women have more rights then men.

But I think I get what you are saying... the whole feminist movement, but then they still think a man should always pay for dinner.

It is a lot of bullshit. If I didnt love women so much, I'd be happy to rid them from my life.

SkullAndCrossbones

well theres small things like women aren't allowed to be drafted into the military, women are not allowed to be on the front lines in battle, both of which i agree with. but i was also talking about the fact that they dont have to pay alimony and men do. and my point for the whole "deep down or even subcontiously women dont want equal rights" thing was that theres small things where women say they want to be treated equally but a lot of women are in favor of alimony and shit like that. doesn't seem very equal to me. theres also the whole abortion/adoption thing. it seems like the father of the child/children has very little say in what actually happens. its both their child, they should both have equal say. and then theres the whole toilet seat fiasco. some women still get upset that the toilet seat is up. i mean come on, how hard is it to put the toilet seat back down? im constantly lifting it up or down depending if i have to take a piss or a shit, it aint that hard, it takes like a half of a second lol.

Shanez_Wife

I know women who pay alimony as well as childsupport. As far as the laundry thing, just give the truth. I'd give anything to have Shane help more around the house. Even a simple thing such as keeping me company while I clean the kitchen would make me want to clean more.

Shanez_Wife

I don't know if it's just me but I really love the scent of Tide and get really really happy when I get to go shopping for it.

Bottle_Tree

women aren't allowed to be drafted into the military, women are not allowed to be on the front lines in battle, both of which i agree with.

and my point for the whole "deep down or even subcontiously women dont want equal rights" thing was that theres small things where women say they want to be treated equally but a lot of women are in favor of alimony and shit like that.

theres also the whole abortion/adoption thing. it seems like the father of the child/children has very little say in what actually happens. its both their child, they should both have equal say.

WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

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