now im not anywhere near husband of the year, but what you're describing Leah is a very unhealthy relationship especially since its ( i presume ) a long distance relationship which are a 100x's harder right off the bat.
now im not anywhere near husband of the year, but what you're describing Leah is a very unhealthy relationship especially since its ( i presume ) a long distance relationship which are a 100x's harder right off the bat.
They are harder. I love him more then anything so it makes it even harder. I have to go back soon because my mom needs help babysitting my nephews. I'm going to be there for a couple months and I keep having a dream where he breaks it off because he can't deal with me and found someone that's better and easier to deal with. I've had the urge to just walk out the door and disappear forever. Just go wherever my legs would take me. I've been in a pretty unhealthy relationship before but it didn't wear on me emotionally like this one has. He's wanted me to talk about some things but its hard, I'm not nub of a talker but more a writer. He doesn't get that either. Maybe I'm supposed to let him go...idk.
^ 2 days before my beat. Sounds like a win for both of us that week lol
EDIT: I guess more of a win for you than me though hahaha
Leah, just like all the others in here, I'm no expert on relationships, but it sounds like Marc needs to emotionally grow up quick or this could end bad =/
I know I'm hard to deal with...which is why I kept asking a year ago if this is what he wanted and if he could deal with it. He said yes and that he'd go through anything with me because he does not want anyone but me. But he's told me recently that my emotional changes, how easily I can be irritated, and things like that are hard for him to deal with. I tried to make sure he knew what he was getting into...guess it didn't work. I'm dealing with a bunch of shit that's not making this any easier too. Everything back home is going in the shutter because my dad won't get a job. Keeps making excuses...and what sucks about that is I'm noticing Marc does that a lot too. Which frustrates me...he could be working but kinda chooses not to. Not going to look good to some people. I love him more then anything, and I'm willing to go through all of this shit because things aren't always going to be awesome.
He never used to do all of these things often at all and its now an everyday occurrence. If there's something bothering him too I won't know because he doesn't talk to me about anything that bothers him. Only time I found out about the issues he has with my emotions was because a lot of things were bothering me and my women's intuition was going off a lot. I had this feeling he was talking to someone or something, idk. When I told him I thought he might leave for this or that he told me that they are hard to deal with and who knows..or something like that afterward. I don't ask for much...and I can take a lot of shit until I flip or some shit...but maybe what we need is a break at some point and me going back home for a while will help. But hell, he could just say hey...its better w/o you too. Who knows...and hate not knowing what's going to happen...drives me crazy a little more <_>
leah from what you've been writing you seriously strike me as a Bi-Polar. The bad thing about that is most normal people cannot handle us in a relationship.
Being w/ someone who is a bipolar is NOT fun. There's one thing that you just have to keep saying in your head everytime they throw stuff and flip out, "It's not them, it's a mood swing, it will end in half an hour to a few hours". Shane's bipolar fits have gotten so bad that he's had his whole car packed and tried destroying my car. Now, they compare having a bipolar significant other to having a retarded child. They can seem normal one minute, next minute you don't know if you can take it. Being a wife of a bipolar, I can tell you we've had some pretty nasty fights over what started w/ a mood swing. Now it sounds to me that you've hit the point of maybe getting some real help. Thing is he has to understand also what it's like for you. If things are easier for you to write how you feel, write something to him. It's easier for a lot of people to write how they feel because you don't have to face the reaction of the person until they're done reading it.
K, I'm done just sitting in the side line and reading all this.
Yes her emotions are hard for me to handle sometimes, but damn it I handle it and brush it off and move on and try to help her. I do my best every damn day to make her feel better or make her smile or something and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I am always here for her and she knows it yet she doesn't come to me. I try to have a real conversation about our relationship to better it and so on and she flips and says "Well then why don't I just go back home. I'm sure that will make things better." It's hard trying to have a real conversation to better us when that is being said almost all the time I wanna talk about it. Yes it sometimes hard to handle it but I do. If I couldn't she would be gone. I would tell her this isn't working and I can't take this anymore and so on. Would be no point to be in a relationship if one of us isn't happy. I'm happy, I love her with my heart, I try to help her and make her smile...yet I'm coming out like I'm a bad guy in this when I'm not.
It's hard sometimes and I understand it, but you have to understand that all of it comes on me as well.I have this and a hell of a lot more on my plate at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough cause she doesn't smile or have a good time any where, sometimes I feel like everything I do is wrong because any little thing can piss her off and more. So I have to try and do everything perfect to a T and if I mess up I know what it will lead to. I try and try and try when some would just give up and call it quits, but I'm not. I'm here to stay for some reason all I see is idk if he wants me and blah blah. If I didn't I wouldn't tell you I love you every day and kiss you and smile when I see you. Why do you need a FB wall post to say I love you for resurgence? is saying it in person not good enough? Yes I tend to play games a lot right now and that's to let my frustration out since you don't wanna talk about it. I ask what's wrong all the time because I fucking care a lot and wanna know what's wrong. Yes I joke around a lot so I can keep a good mood going instead it goes the other way and so on. I mean me and my mom are here to help her and everything. If she needs to find help then we will help her if she needs doctor we will help with that to. She seems to not want it for some reason. Everything she needs and more is here. Yes all this is new to me since I have never experienced someone with bi-polar and minute to minute mood changes. I am learning as I go and continue to better myself so I know what to do and what not to do. It's hard as hell but I am trying my hardest. I do wear my heart on my sleeve for her and everyone knows it. I love her to death and much more. I am taking a chance on typing all this cause idk what it will do. idk if she is going to get pissed or be happy or anything. so yeah it's scary not know what mood is going to come out when she does read this cause I know she will. All I can say is I do love you and no I don't want you to go back home cause I will miss you to much.
It sucks cause I literally have no one to go to when it comes to this, but it seems like I can with Judy and Shane now. It would be nice to come to you guys for advice since you know what we are going through. I have had several talks with people over time to try and help but neither know how to cause they haven't experienced it before. So it would be nice to come to yall.
And there's things he does I'm not used to and is hard to me too. I try to keep control of everything the best I can but lately its extra hard. With all kinds of bullshit happening back home, having to leave soon, spending Xmas without him along with new years. It sucks and maybe I'm not dealing with shit right. And I'm not too fond of having to take meds for various reasons. I don't even like taking advil most the time for my headaches/migraines. The reason I don't necessarily want helped right now is because I can't pay for it and I don't want your mom to really worry about it. She has enough to worry about. When I get back home I'll get help somewhere, it will make me feel a whole lot less guilty. Even staying here this long with next to no money makes me feel guilty.
And the reassurance thing is weird. It's like I need reassured a decent amount because of bs that's happened to me before. You'd be surprised what can lighten my day if I would get random whatevers from you from time to time. I guess its because I never have got that before or something. Why do you think I look at you so much? It's because I know I'm not going to see that face soon and I love looking at you. It makes me smile and appreciate what I have even more.
You mean the world to me Marc and more...which is why I've wanted to just leave sometimes because to me, I feel it'll make things easier for you. Another thing I get to deal with is being in a city, with social anxiety, and a bunch of Mexicans that speak nothing but Spanish. The fact I can't speak Spanish makes for when I go get a job harder because wtf am I gonna do when someone speaks Spanish to me? Guess this is going to be a step by step, day by day process. I love you more then anything..just never forget it.
Marc, feel free to contact me through yahoo or aim. Text if you have to. I know what it's like for you. I know what it's like to seem like the bad guy.
Leah, I know the whole social anxiety thing. I took meds for about a month (were prescribed as needed) and I learned how to adapt to it. I've recently stopped taking them for the reason of trying to have a baby. With Shane getting a second job I dunno how he's gonna handle it and it scares me because this will be the first job in 2 years that he won't have me to run to when someone pisses him off. I dunno if he'll flip out on someone there and get in trouble.
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EDIT: I guess more of a win for you than me though hahaha
Leah, just like all the others in here, I'm no expert on relationships, but it sounds like Marc needs to emotionally grow up quick or this could end bad =/
He never used to do all of these things often at all and its now an everyday occurrence. If there's something bothering him too I won't know because he doesn't talk to me about anything that bothers him. Only time I found out about the issues he has with my emotions was because a lot of things were bothering me and my women's intuition was going off a lot. I had this feeling he was talking to someone or something, idk. When I told him I thought he might leave for this or that he told me that they are hard to deal with and who knows..or something like that afterward. I don't ask for much...and I can take a lot of shit until I flip or some shit...but maybe what we need is a break at some point and me going back home for a while will help. But hell, he could just say hey...its better w/o you too. Who knows...and hate not knowing what's going to happen...drives me crazy a little more <_>
Now it sounds to me that you've hit the point of maybe getting some real help. Thing is he has to understand also what it's like for you. If things are easier for you to write how you feel, write something to him. It's easier for a lot of people to write how they feel because you don't have to face the reaction of the person until they're done reading it.
Yes her emotions are hard for me to handle sometimes, but damn it I handle it and brush it off and move on and try to help her. I do my best every damn day to make her feel better or make her smile or something and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I am always here for her and she knows it yet she doesn't come to me. I try to have a real conversation about our relationship to better it and so on and she flips and says "Well then why don't I just go back home. I'm sure that will make things better." It's hard trying to have a real conversation to better us when that is being said almost all the time I wanna talk about it. Yes it sometimes hard to handle it but I do. If I couldn't she would be gone. I would tell her this isn't working and I can't take this anymore and so on. Would be no point to be in a relationship if one of us isn't happy. I'm happy, I love her with my heart, I try to help her and make her smile...yet I'm coming out like I'm a bad guy in this when I'm not.
It's hard sometimes and I understand it, but you have to understand that all of it comes on me as well.I have this and a hell of a lot more on my plate at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough cause she doesn't smile or have a good time any where, sometimes I feel like everything I do is wrong because any little thing can piss her off and more. So I have to try and do everything perfect to a T and if I mess up I know what it will lead to. I try and try and try when some would just give up and call it quits, but I'm not. I'm here to stay for some reason all I see is idk if he wants me and blah blah. If I didn't I wouldn't tell you I love you every day and kiss you and smile when I see you. Why do you need a FB wall post to say I love you for resurgence? is saying it in person not good enough? Yes I tend to play games a lot right now and that's to let my frustration out since you don't wanna talk about it. I ask what's wrong all the time because I fucking care a lot and wanna know what's wrong. Yes I joke around a lot so I can keep a good mood going instead it goes the other way and so on. I mean me and my mom are here to help her and everything. If she needs to find help then we will help her if she needs doctor we will help with that to. She seems to not want it for some reason. Everything she needs and more is here. Yes all this is new to me since I have never experienced someone with bi-polar and minute to minute mood changes. I am learning as I go and continue to better myself so I know what to do and what not to do. It's hard as hell but I am trying my hardest. I do wear my heart on my sleeve for her and everyone knows it. I love her to death and much more. I am taking a chance on typing all this cause idk what it will do. idk if she is going to get pissed or be happy or anything. so yeah it's scary not know what mood is going to come out when she does read this cause I know she will. All I can say is I do love you and no I don't want you to go back home cause I will miss you to much.
It sucks cause I literally have no one to go to when it comes to this, but it seems like I can with Judy and Shane now. It would be nice to come to you guys for advice since you know what we are going through. I have had several talks with people over time to try and help but neither know how to cause they haven't experienced it before. So it would be nice to come to yall.
oh and congrats on getting married
And there's things he does I'm not used to and is hard to me too. I try to keep control of everything the best I can but lately its extra hard. With all kinds of bullshit happening back home, having to leave soon, spending Xmas without him along with new years. It sucks and maybe I'm not dealing with shit right. And I'm not too fond of having to take meds for various reasons. I don't even like taking advil most the time for my headaches/migraines. The reason I don't necessarily want helped right now is because I can't pay for it and I don't want your mom to really worry about it. She has enough to worry about. When I get back home I'll get help somewhere, it will make me feel a whole lot less guilty. Even staying here this long with next to no money makes me feel guilty.
And the reassurance thing is weird. It's like I need reassured a decent amount because of bs that's happened to me before. You'd be surprised what can lighten my day if I would get random whatevers from you from time to time. I guess its because I never have got that before or something. Why do you think I look at you so much? It's because I know I'm not going to see that face soon and I love looking at you. It makes me smile and appreciate what I have even more.
You mean the world to me Marc and more...which is why I've wanted to just leave sometimes because to me, I feel it'll make things easier for you. Another thing I get to deal with is being in a city, with social anxiety, and a bunch of Mexicans that speak nothing but Spanish. The fact I can't speak Spanish makes for when I go get a job harder because wtf am I gonna do when someone speaks Spanish to me? Guess this is going to be a step by step, day by day process. I love you more then anything..just never forget it.