So after dinner some my friend wanted to see my room. Therefore I had to check her into my room (she is my friend's girlfriend btw, so no hanky panky shit thanks). So she and my other friend were going to go to my room.
When checking her in to my room, the girls at the front counter were like "name, room, etc". Then they stopped and were looking at me.
I must have been looking really awkward cuz then they asked "have you never had a girl in your room before?"
TO which I replied, "nope." Which caused them to laugh at me...
then we get to my room and my roommate was sleeping so we went right back down and I checked her out of my room.... whole awkward thing coulda been avoided X_X
Roommate last night - "You guys are still up playing Halo? All I can hear in the other room is Adam shouting, "You motherfucker", Sugi just laughing, and Ed shouting the n word."
MetalSSlayerPosts: 6,164destroyer of motherfuckers
"There was this lion who had just eaten a bull,and he felt good. He felt so good he opened his mouth and roared and roared. He roared until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral of the story is: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."
advisor: listen, the only thing you need to know about organic chemistry is carbon is a whore me: omg i heard that on the internet haha advisor: yea, thats what happens when you spend too much time on tumblr
Wife: Did you hear that Hostess is shutting down. Me: Yeah, but Im sure if they cant figure anything out someone will buy them. Wife: This sucks, Ive never had a fried Twinkie. Me: You can fry all kinda shit nowadays, candy bars, cookies, Ive seen people fry Coke on tv. Wife: Fry Coke?? Me: Yeah, even fried weinies Wife: Fried weinies, I bet that's gross. Me: Yes, babe its called a Corn Dog...(lol) Wife: (lol) dont laugh at me asshole!!
The day you need a gun and don't have one, may be your last.
So, I was just cooking my dinner about an hour ago, my Mom comes in the kitchen, and starts asking "So what are you cooking toni-...", sees all the food, "HOW MUCH FUCKING FOOD IS THAT?!?".
Me: A pound of Chicken Breast, 16 egg whites, and 164 grams of straight up protein.
Mom: I can't believe you. That's ridiculous. I thought you're cutting your calories for the next month?
Me: I am, this is only 880 calories and the rest of my protein for the day, that's what happens when you eat clean ass food, doesn't add up so fast.
Mom: That's just... That's nuts. That's an insane amount of food.
Me: Did you not see me eating 3,200 calories in about 2 hours as soon as I started intermittent fasting on my bulk? This ain't shit.
Mom: *Walking out of the kitchen.* Whatever, that's fucking ludicrous.
Me: *Yelling after her.* WHAT'S LUDICROUS IS LOSING MY FUCKING GAINS!
Me: *Yelling after her.* WHAT'S LUDICROUS IS LOSING MY FUCKING GAINS!
What, gonna come at me wit "Disrespectful."? That's the kind of relationship me and my Mom have, I've always swore around her. It was in a joking tone anyways, not like I was cursing at her or calling her any names.
Comments
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
So after dinner some my friend wanted to see my room. Therefore I had to check her into my room (she is my friend's girlfriend btw, so no hanky panky shit thanks). So she and my other friend were going to go to my room.
When checking her in to my room, the girls at the front counter were like "name, room, etc". Then they stopped and were looking at me.
I must have been looking really awkward cuz then they asked "have you never had a girl in your room before?"
TO which I replied, "nope." Which caused them to laugh at me...
then we get to my room and my roommate was sleeping so we went right back down and I checked her out of my room.... whole awkward thing coulda been avoided X_X
Todd: WHAT? I wanna get suspended. I'll call you a faggot right now. Faggot.
......but turn signals are for safety purposes."
advisor: listen, the only thing you need to know about organic chemistry is carbon is a whore
me: omg i heard that on the internet haha
advisor: yea, thats what happens when you spend too much time on tumblr
i. love. her.
Brian- "You guys smell like loud."
Anna- *Proceeds to smell Adam* "You smell like garlic!"
Wife: Did you hear that Hostess is shutting down.
Me: Yeah, but Im sure if they cant figure anything out someone will buy them.
Wife: This sucks, Ive never had a fried Twinkie.
Me: You can fry all kinda shit nowadays, candy bars, cookies, Ive seen people fry Coke on tv.
Wife: Fry Coke??
Me: Yeah, even fried weinies
Wife: Fried weinies, I bet that's gross.
Me: Yes, babe its called a Corn Dog...(lol)
Wife: (lol) dont laugh at me asshole!!
i said: can i be 1001
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Me: A pound of Chicken Breast, 16 egg whites, and 164 grams of straight up protein.
Mom: I can't believe you. That's ridiculous. I thought you're cutting your calories for the next month?
Me: I am, this is only 880 calories and the rest of my protein for the day, that's what happens when you eat clean ass food, doesn't add up so fast.
Mom: That's just... That's nuts. That's an insane amount of food.
Me: Did you not see me eating 3,200 calories in about 2 hours as soon as I started intermittent fasting on my bulk? This ain't shit.
Mom: *Walking out of the kitchen.* Whatever, that's fucking ludicrous.
Me: *Yelling after her.* WHAT'S LUDICROUS IS LOSING MY FUCKING GAINS!
What, gonna come at me wit "Disrespectful."? That's the kind of relationship me and my Mom have, I've always swore around her. It was in a joking tone anyways, not like I was cursing at her or calling her any names.