drinkwine732Posts: 20,418destroyer of motherfuckers
"Here's a question." "Yeah?" "What would you rather have sex with. A flat screen TV, or the Mayflower?" "Wat. I- what?" "Choose the one you would have sex with!" "Um. The Mayflower?" "The Mayflower? The one that landed at pilgrim rock?" "Uh, yeah." "Good choice. Good choice."
My Linguistics prof: "Spread your lips. Time to practice the oral method." Every girl bursts out in laughter and every guy looks horrified but intrigued. Prof: "What?" More laughter. Prof: "Oh shit!" Girl next to me: "Well, I knew this class would be worth something."
This happened during our team meeting today. I really don't care much anymore lol.
Jim (my boss): So we're way behind on Red Cards (Target's credit card which we're supposed to ask people if they want upon a prompt at checkout), people.
*everyone is silent and uncaring*
Jim: *looks straight at me* Alex... Alex, Alex... how many Red Cards have you gotten?
Me: How many good albums has Nickelback put out?
rest of the team:
Jim: Well what would you do if I told you that your pay depended on how many Red Cards you sold?
Comments
Every girl bursts out in laughter and every guy looks horrified but intrigued.
Prof: "What?"
More laughter.
Prof: "Oh shit!"
Girl next to me: "Well, I knew this class would be worth something."
I was laughing so hard at this.
Jim (my boss): So we're way behind on Red Cards (Target's credit card which we're supposed to ask people if they want upon a prompt at checkout), people.
*everyone is silent and uncaring*
Jim: *looks straight at me* Alex... Alex, Alex... how many Red Cards have you gotten?
Me: How many good albums has Nickelback put out?
rest of the team:
Jim: Well what would you do if I told you that your pay depended on how many Red Cards you sold?
Me: I'd quit.
rest of the team:
Jim:
"He gave him a wedgie so hard that it tore a hole in his ass."
-Transformers 3 DVD commercial