This too. I KNOW this will happen. I'm too emotional of a person to have sex and not feel anything afterwards. Or before.
Believe it or not, but I am 100% the exact same way. If a girl tells me "I love you" it triggers shit in my head that makes me think that she is the most perfect girl ever. She could be questionable pussy that everyone would say "Dude you could do WAAAAYYY better" but I'd be blinded by the "I love you" and the sex (sex is basically just another form of I Love you to me)
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
being that way, it's difficult to have one night stands, and honestly I've had very few of them in my life because of that. Almost all my one night stands ended up being shitty relationships because I couldnt let go. There were a couple though that I was able to successfully just get my dick wet and move on.
I should just invest in one of these body pillows. Waifu would never hurt me (note this is not actually my waifu - Although Macross is my fav anime. Team Misa though).
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
And getting laid for the first time didn't change how I was... Im still that person and will always be that person. However what getting laid the first time did do is it allowed me to put some perspective on sex and relationships. It allowed me to stop putting the pussy so high on a pedestal, and it allowed me to (when not in love) subjectively realize I am easily influenced by sex and "I love you". Having this perspective has allowed me to control my emotions and has improved my ability to have normal friendship relationships with women which was typically difficult in the past.
It's like say sky diving.... Say you always think about it, and it scares the shit out of you. And you swear that you'll never do that shit because your terrorfied of heights. That you'd probably have a heart-attack if you tried it. But then when you finally actually do it, you realize it wasn't nearly as bad as you feared. You gain perspective and have a more intimate understanding of yourself and that experience. And if you were to ever do it again, you're no so psyched up like you were the first time. Perhaps you never go and do it again... that's fine. But You've done it. you experienced it. and in doing so you are now better equipped to handle that situation again in the future if you had too.
And getting laid for the first time didn't change how I was... Im still that person and will always be that person. However what getting laid the first time did do is it allowed me to put some perspective on sex and relationships. It allowed me to stop putting the pussy so high on a pedestal, and it allowed me to (when not in love) subjectively realize I am easily influenced by sex and "I love you". Having this perspective has allowed me to control my emotions and has improved my ability to have normal friendship relationships with women which was typically difficult in the past.
It's like say sky diving.... Say you always think about it, and it scares the shit out of you. And you swear that you'll never do that shit because your terrorfied of heights. That you'd probably have a heart-attack if you tried it. But then when you finally actually do it, you realize it wasn't nearly as bad as you feared. You gain perspective and have a more intimate understanding of yourself and that experience. And if you were to ever do it again, you're no so psyched up like you were the first time. Perhaps you never go and do it again... that's fine. But You've done it. you experienced it. and in doing so you are now better equipped to handle that situation again in the future if you had too.
I guess.
I mean, there are moral and philosophical reasons on top of my lack of sexual experience, drive, skill, and prowess, and fear of sex as well though. So its a little different than sky diving lol.
I should just invest in one of these body pillows. Waifu would never hurt me (note this is not actually my waifu - Although Macross is my fav anime. Team Misa though).
It's something I've kinda known the entire time but was either just too stupid, selfish or afraid to admit (maybe all 3), there is no legitimate reason to put yourself in a position where you're settling (and hurting yourself), just to make someone else happy. If you can't both be happy at the same time, then you have to worry about yourself first. It may sound/seem selfish, but yeah.
For me, I'm with you in the sense that I want to already be friends with someone before trying to date them, I tried dating someone once the weekend we met and it was a waste of time (though it could have been for other reasons, but yeah).
I have never been so caught up over anyone as I have been with this girl, and if everything was right then I would do anything to be there and help keep her happy. I know that it sucks when they won't let you, for whatever reason, and trying to figure out that reason(s) just makes it more frustrating.
One thing i had to figure out recently for myself is, don't act like her boyfriend if you really aren't. You're just setting yourself up for frustration, and so was I. It's not worth emotionally killing yourself over someone who won't do the same for you.
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inb4HeFallsInLoveWithFirstOneNightStand
the not giving a mcfuck was a joke lol. I consider you niggas friends. I wouldn't come here every day if i didn't.
Fuck feelings and emotions.
You should pitch this to McDonalds.
It's like say sky diving.... Say you always think about it, and it scares the shit out of you. And you swear that you'll never do that shit because your terrorfied of heights. That you'd probably have a heart-attack if you tried it. But then when you finally actually do it, you realize it wasn't nearly as bad as you feared. You gain perspective and have a more intimate understanding of yourself and that experience. And if you were to ever do it again, you're no so psyched up like you were the first time. Perhaps you never go and do it again... that's fine. But You've done it. you experienced it. and in doing so you are now better equipped to handle that situation again in the future if you had too.
I mean, there are moral and philosophical reasons on top of my lack of sexual experience, drive, skill, and prowess, and fear of sex as well though. So its a little different than sky diving lol.
For me, I'm with you in the sense that I want to already be friends with someone before trying to date them, I tried dating someone once the weekend we met and it was a waste of time (though it could have been for other reasons, but yeah).
I have never been so caught up over anyone as I have been with this girl, and if everything was right then I would do anything to be there and help keep her happy. I know that it sucks when they won't let you, for whatever reason, and trying to figure out that reason(s) just makes it more frustrating.
One thing i had to figure out recently for myself is, don't act like her boyfriend if you really aren't. You're just setting yourself up for frustration, and so was I. It's not worth emotionally killing yourself over someone who won't do the same for you.