I'll be speaking to her privately as well. theres more to it, but things just went screwy after a while.
at the beginning of the relationship, I was being a bit of a pushover, but hell, I didn't care. bianca didnt mind it, though. as it went on, I started putting my walls up more and not taking shit from anyone nearly as much or as heavily. what I made a mistake doing was putting up my walls extra high around Bianca even at the drop of a hat, could have been over a simple comment or voice inflection or something. she started picking up on it and worried I didnt like her, was trying to drive her away, but more importantly, ditching her for my friends. for a good while I kept her further than my friends because I felt the immediate support from them rather than the digital support and all. but what it really came down to was that she was committed to be there for me through thick and thin, and I didn't really return the favor.
this happened multiple times.
there was one time when she asked me to help her study for orgo (her final exam no less) and I went out with friends, planning to be back before she got on. it didnt work that way and we got into a big fight with me making bullshit excuses like "oh well I can help you through skype on my phone" but it isnt the same. there are distractions everywhere and all she asked for was one on one time with me to improve her grade. I felt like a piece of shit and absolutely deserved to.
point is, I wasnt always there for her as it went on, yet she was more than willing to for me. and even if she weren't I would owe it to her extremely generous family to simply give bianca the time of day (literally).
That's cool you apologized for those things. But eh, those things aren't all that bad imo
let me state - I don't really have any idea what ultimately lead to their breakup, but I could understand what Alex just apologized for being hurtful. I mean if I am seeing my gf every two months in person, and the one time I come to see her she has to go do something that she literally does every weekend.... That would kinda stink. Oh so that's where I stand on level of importance? I mean yeah, it's not bad in the sense that he is physically harming her such that she needs to be concerned for her life... But im sure it would make someone feel not all that valued. Know what I mean?
I honestly wouldn't care about it much. And this entire thing could have been handled better by both sides. I still think the whole weed thing was bs and uncalled for
Education > Rapping but seeing as you're a failure at both you're totally fucked
Lol. Aight, first off, a motherfucker working at McDonald's at like 30 years old is tryna tell me about education and being a failure. )
Second, I'm such a failure at education that I'm a senior earlier than I should be and have As across the board except for math.
Lastly, yes, so far I am a failure at music, no one gave a fuck about my first mixtape, no one gives a fuck about Episode 95 in general. However, no one can convince me I make bad music. I'm absolutely loving everything I write lately, and those who actually give my music the time of day realize how drastically I've improved. Wit all that said, I put almost $1,000 into The Pilot, a year of writing, and my entire summer to record it. For the end result of absolutely nothing. I have every reason to quit, and no reason to keep on going at it. However, unlike you, I keep chasing a dream and don't settle for a fate at McDonald's. Not only that, but The Pilot's failure humbled me. I made The Pilot for everyone else but me, hoping it'd get me off the ground, get me good exposure, get me shows. This time around, I have no expectations. In fact, it'll prolly suffer the same fate as The Pilot. For that reason, this time around, this record is completely for me. I'm tryna please no one but myself wit this record. It's being made simply for my love of music. I can't be let down anymore when I already have no expectations for it. I'm simply putting out a record that I know I MYSELF am proud of and like listening to. Wit no expectations, all that's left is a possible pleasant surprise, where Lone Star does what I hoped The Pilot would do.
Bianca, I apologize deeply to you for all of this happening. I dont like what you did behind my back, but my stuck up(ness) kept me from seeing the rest. I was stuck in my own world and was afraid of losing my self-respect, so I took it to extreme levels and basically threw you out of my life, especially for these past few months. Im an asshole. I hope you can forgive me.
Alex apologizes and people just still argue with erik.
Good for you for realizing your faults. Hopefully you both do and move on from it. And if you for some reason get back together please do not tell a single person on here or include them if it goes wrong.
You tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
Comments
Inb4 "Funny, that's how I felt about your music.". 8-|
at the beginning of the relationship, I was being a bit of a pushover, but hell, I didn't care. bianca didnt mind it, though. as it went on, I started putting my walls up more and not taking shit from anyone nearly as much or as heavily. what I made a mistake doing was putting up my walls extra high around Bianca even at the drop of a hat, could have been over a simple comment or voice inflection or something. she started picking up on it and worried I didnt like her, was trying to drive her away, but more importantly, ditching her for my friends. for a good while I kept her further than my friends because I felt the immediate support from them rather than the digital support and all. but what it really came down to was that she was committed to be there for me through thick and thin, and I didn't really return the favor.
this happened multiple times.
there was one time when she asked me to help her study for orgo (her final exam no less) and I went out with friends, planning to be back before she got on. it didnt work that way and we got into a big fight with me making bullshit excuses like "oh well I can help you through skype on my phone" but it isnt the same. there are distractions everywhere and all she asked for was one on one time with me to improve her grade. I felt like a piece of shit and absolutely deserved to.
point is, I wasnt always there for her as it went on, yet she was more than willing to for me. and even if she weren't I would owe it to her extremely generous family to simply give bianca the time of day (literally).
Im not above admitting when Im wrong, just takes some setting in
Second, I'm such a failure at education that I'm a senior earlier than I should be and have As across the board except for math.
Lastly, yes, so far I am a failure at music, no one gave a fuck about my first mixtape, no one gives a fuck about Episode 95 in general. However, no one can convince me I make bad music. I'm absolutely loving everything I write lately, and those who actually give my music the time of day realize how drastically I've improved. Wit all that said, I put almost $1,000 into The Pilot, a year of writing, and my entire summer to record it. For the end result of absolutely nothing. I have every reason to quit, and no reason to keep on going at it. However, unlike you, I keep chasing a dream and don't settle for a fate at McDonald's. Not only that, but The Pilot's failure humbled me. I made The Pilot for everyone else but me, hoping it'd get me off the ground, get me good exposure, get me shows. This time around, I have no expectations. In fact, it'll prolly suffer the same fate as The Pilot. For that reason, this time around, this record is completely for me. I'm tryna please no one but myself wit this record. It's being made simply for my love of music. I can't be let down anymore when I already have no expectations for it. I'm simply putting out a record that I know I MYSELF am proud of and like listening to. Wit no expectations, all that's left is a possible pleasant surprise, where Lone Star does what I hoped The Pilot would do.
Bianca, I apologize deeply to you for all of this happening. I dont like what you did behind my back, but my stuck up(ness) kept me from seeing the rest. I was stuck in my own world and was afraid of losing my self-respect, so I took it to extreme levels and basically threw you out of my life, especially for these past few months. Im an asshole. I hope you can forgive me.
I truly meant all I said here. what she chooses to make of it is up to her.
Good for you for realizing your faults. Hopefully you both do and move on from it. And if you for some reason get back together please do not tell a single person on here or include them if it goes wrong.