drinkwine732Posts: 20,418destroyer of motherfuckers
Fuck you. I type with near perfect spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. My speaking is no different really. Although I have a bad habit of actually saying el oh el or "lahl" or "lahlz". Lmao.
A few errors that I have noticed...
OK, so to start off, I had no intention of going to this show 'til right after Megadeth played last night, because Bring Me The Horizon was playing in the basement, and the entire time time I was tempted to just say "Fuck this." and go downstairs and see BMTH.
So I've known about it for a while, and figured I was fucked since I've never done a back-to-back, and I figured there'd just be no way with my Mom, but it came to mind that I had an extra $20 and I could just take the train down to House Of Blues, so I texted my Mom and asked, and she surprisingly had no problem with it, so at that point I was just fucking stoked. 2 very long run-on sentences here. I also have an issue with the way you quoted "Fuck this," because the period there creates a new sentence regardless of the fact that it is in quotation marks. In honesty, that's a tough subject, but it's still incorrect.
So as I'm waiting outside, things get better. I see Oli fucking Sykes walking my way, and I'm just like ".....No fucking way."
Two conjunctions there, unnecessary. You also need a comma after like.
So I was the first one who noticed him, and I ran up to him, and shook his hand right away (Also asked him if he could help get me in, but yet again, no dice.)
When a series of events happens, you don't need to have and after every event. It's a mistake a lot of 8 year olds make when they are telling stories. "and I went down to the store, and I saw some candy, and I took some money out of my pocket..."
In fact, you make this error a few times, but I won't point each of 'em out.
BMTH was doing a signing, but I said fuck it. And thus starts the show.
Depending on who you ask, it is "BMTH were doing a signing"
Also, you don't have tense continuation there with the "And thus starts the show." I know you wanted to use "thus," but that's not how you use it at all.
I shouldn't have to tell you that that paragraph was way too long.
Fuck you. I type with near perfect spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. My speaking is no different really. Although I have a bad habit of actually saying el oh el or "lahl" or "lahlz". Lmao.
A few errors that I have noticed...
OK, so to start off, I had no intention of going to this show 'til right after Megadeth played last night, because Bring Me The Horizon was playing in the basement, and the entire time time I was tempted to just say "Fuck this." and go downstairs and see BMTH.
So I've known about it for a while, and figured I was fucked since I've never done a back-to-back, and I figured there'd just be no way with my Mom, but it came to mind that I had an extra $20 and I could just take the train down to House Of Blues, so I texted my Mom and asked, and she surprisingly had no problem with it, so at that point I was just fucking stoked.
2 very long run-on sentences here. I also have an issue with the way you quoted "Fuck this," because the period there creates a new sentence regardless of the fact that it is in quotation marks. In honesty, that's a tough subject, but it's still incorrect.
So as I'm waiting outside, things get better. I see Oli fucking Sykes walking my way, and I'm just like ".....No fucking way."
Two conjunctions there, unnecessary. You also need a comma after like.
So I was the first one who noticed him, and I ran up to him, and shook his hand right away (Also asked him if he could help get me in, but yet again, no dice.)
When a series of events happens, you don't need to have and after every event. It's a mistake a lot of 8 year olds make when they are telling stories. "and I went down to the store, and I saw some candy, and I took some money out of my pocket..."
In fact, you make this error a few times, but I won't point each of 'em out.
BMTH was doing a signing, but I said fuck it. And thus starts the show.
Depending on who you ask, it is "BMTH were doing a signing"
Also, you don't have tense continuation there with the "And thus starts the show." I know you wanted to use "thus," but that's not how you use it at all.
I shouldn't have to tell you that that paragraph was way too long.
i was pretty drunk going into the game....the first thing we did when we got there was shotgun a beer at 8 am....then the game started at 330....i shotgun'd like 6 beers and drank like 15 lol.....then on the way in we saw this kid rolling up this blunt so i gave out like 4 smokes to smoke it with them....lol it was awesome
1. ^yeah he does O_O 2. Hookah is great. 3. Mushroomhead is also great. 4. I seriously hate it when I was gonna post something and then I forgot what it was. 5: Metal_Crusades, did you say you saw me on vampirefreaks?
Comments
you have to get the air bubble right where you're going to poke it. = you dont spill a drop
2 very long run-on sentences here. I also have an issue with the way you quoted "Fuck this," because the period there creates a new sentence regardless of the fact that it is in quotation marks. In honesty, that's a tough subject, but it's still incorrect. Two conjunctions there, unnecessary. You also need a comma after like. When a series of events happens, you don't need to have and after every event. It's a mistake a lot of 8 year olds make when they are telling stories. "and I went down to the store, and I saw some candy, and I took some money out of my pocket..."
In fact, you make this error a few times, but I won't point each of 'em out. Depending on who you ask, it is "BMTH were doing a signing"
Also, you don't have tense continuation there with the "And thus starts the show." I know you wanted to use "thus," but that's not how you use it at all.
I shouldn't have to tell you that that paragraph was way too long.
In fact, you make this error a few times, but I won't point each of 'em out. Depending on who you ask, it is "BMTH were doing a signing"
Also, you don't have tense continuation there with the "And thus starts the show." I know you wanted to use "thus," but that's not how you use it at all.
I shouldn't have to tell you that that paragraph was way too long.
Boom!
(because it is)
2. Hookah is great.
3. Mushroomhead is also great.
4. I seriously hate it when I was gonna post something and then I forgot what it was.
5: Metal_Crusades, did you say you saw me on vampirefreaks?
/opinion.