The weird part is I never lose control anywhere in my life other than with my kids. I have never once lost my cool in my professional life ever but with kids there is more emotions involved which makes it very difficult. There is nothing wrong with yelling at your kids if you get the lesson across. Reasoning with a 3, 4, or 5 year old will not work usually. They just don't understand it. You can't "reason" a kid to not run into the middle of the street to chase a ball, however you can scare them into not doing it again, because they know what might be coming if they do.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
The weird part is I never lose control anywhere in my life other than with my kids. I have never once lost my cool in my professional life ever but with kids there is more emotions involved which makes it very difficult. There is nothing wrong with yelling at your kids if you get the lesson across. Reasoning with a 3, 4, or 5 year old will not work usually. They just don't understand it. You can't "reason" a kid to not run into the middle of the street to chase a ball, however you can scare them into not doing it again, because they know what might be coming if they do.
You just reason differently. I'm sure I've told this story before but It's like when my kids (at that age) would start to throw a fit in a store because they wanted a candy bar. "You know what they have here? Apples and Bananas. Would you like an apple or a banana?" They were so happy with the choice that didnt realize they didnt get what they wanted. And their choice is good for me, because both are healthy for them....
Who know... Maybe in 10 years people will tell me doing that is wrong because I am manipulating them. I dont see it that way though, Im just reasoning with a 3 year old.
Everybody has their own way of doing things. I'm not saying that my way or your way is right or wrong. I would love to never have to yell at my kids ever. But that would mean that they are perfect kids, and even though I love them more than anything, they are far from that.
The weird part is I never lose control anywhere in my life other than with my kids. I have never once lost my cool in my professional life ever but with kids there is more emotions involved which makes it very difficult. There is nothing wrong with yelling at your kids if you get the lesson across. Reasoning with a 3, 4, or 5 year old will not work usually. They just don't understand it. You can't "reason" a kid to not run into the middle of the street to chase a ball, however you can scare them into not doing it again, because they know what might be coming if they do.
You just reason differently. I'm sure I've told this story before but It's like when my kids (at that age) would start to throw a fit in a store because they wanted a candy bar. "You know what they have here? Apples and Bananas. Would you like an apple or a banana?" They were so happy with the choice that didnt realize they didnt get what they wanted. And their choice is good for me, because both are healthy for them....
Who know... Maybe in 10 years people will tell me doing that is wrong because I am manipulating them. I dont see it that way though, Im just reasoning with a 3 year old.
Lol I would just tell them "no". They wouldn't even get an option.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
I dont yell at my kids in public. I try not to yell at them in general. I feel that have a discussion and reasoning with them is more successful then yelling. Sometimes they think I yell at them though, which I dont get. They've never seen me yell or get pissed.
You remind me more and more of my brother in law every day I swear.
Is that a bad thing?
Nah he's a great guy. It's my wifes older brother, but he just has some similarities to you.
-Always playing the devil's advocate on practically everything, whether you believe in your own argument or not
- Extremely smart guy who over analyzes pretty much everything, but can also be an airhead about very simplistic things in life - Models his parenting style around what his father did with him, but has decided to to the opposite of everything his dad did.
\m/
Yeah I do like playing the devil's advocate, because I feel that typically there are valid points to either side of an issue.
Yep. I do over analyze. I blame that on the engineering mind.
My parents were pretty much the opposite of how I raise my kids. My parents believed in allowing me to fend for myself. I had no bed time, I had no hw time. If I wanted dinner then I had to make it. They were also very violent with me when I did something they didnt like. Well my step dad was very violent I should say... My mom was more of a belt lady and a master of saying really really cruel things that you'd be surprised anyone would say such a thing to a little kid.
I dont yell at my kids in public. I try not to yell at them in general. I feel that have a discussion and reasoning with them is more successful then yelling. Sometimes they think I yell at them though, which I dont get. They've never seen me yell or get pissed.
You remind me more and more of my brother in law every day I swear.
Is that a bad thing?
Nah he's a great guy. It's my wifes older brother, but he just has some similarities to you.
-Always playing the devil's advocate on practically everything, whether you believe in your own argument or not
- Extremely smart guy who over analyzes pretty much everything, but can also be an airhead about very simplistic things in life - Models his parenting style around what his father did with him, but has decided to to the opposite of everything his dad did.
I'm guessing he knows jack about sports as well and you don't like talking to him about football :-j
Comments
Who know... Maybe in 10 years people will tell me doing that is wrong because I am manipulating them. I dont see it that way though, Im just reasoning with a 3 year old.
Yeah I do like playing the devil's advocate, because I feel that typically there are valid points to either side of an issue.
Yep. I do over analyze. I blame that on the engineering mind.
My parents were pretty much the opposite of how I raise my kids. My parents believed in allowing me to fend for myself. I had no bed time, I had no hw time. If I wanted dinner then I had to make it. They were also very violent with me when I did something they didnt like. Well my step dad was very violent I should say... My mom was more of a belt lady and a master of saying really really cruel things that you'd be surprised anyone would say such a thing to a little kid.