I need some advice on something

Rex_Capone420

So, over the last 2 years (while we have not been very close the last 6 months) i have been close friends with a group of 5 people....2 of them are Mike, and shirl who dated for 3 years...the other two were dave (my best friend, and shilrs nephew) and steph....who also dated for three months in the spring of 2010....well Shril and mike broke up in January...and while dave and steph broke up last year he still cares about her and misses her and is stuck on her....I have still been able to manage my friendship with all four of them.....well steph has been telling me she has something to tell me for a couple weeks....today we got together for a drink and she told me she has been seeing mike....while dave and her do not talk he still really trusts mike and is good friends with him....steph also works with shirl and shirl and mike dated for 3 years...shirl and steph were best friends but have had a falling out over the last 6 months....Me and dave have know each other for 20 years and have been good friends with mike for 2 years....i just don't know what to do...i know dave will freak out if i tell him...he still misses steph deeply and now someone he trusts is seeing her...and steph works with shirl and im sure shirl will be hurt so there will be repercussions on that side as well....i just don't know if i should keep my mouth shut and keep the drama at bay for now...or tell dave....i know he will be hurt and i don't wanna see that with my best friend....but i just don't know how i can't tell him....idk i just needs peoples opinions on this cause i am very torn...i care about all the people involved in this

BlindGuardian93

I honestly dont know what to tell ya bro these kind of situations suck ass everyone finds out sooner or later. But your a good guy youll make the right decision :-bd

On a side note. Holy Clusterfuck batman.

streets

Holy Clusterfuck batman.

Rex_Capone420

it is my business tho...i am still really good friends with all 4 of them...even tho we can't all hang out any more...and im already involved..i know about it now...and i know dave would want to know and would probably be pissed if he found out i knew and didn't tell him

Necrothulhu

here's the best advice anyone can give you: don't get involved, it isn't your business.

This. They'll all find out about it anyway. It would be a lose, lose if you tell. Because as your one friend will thank you the others may not like it too well

drinkwine732

What I do in these scenarios is try and imagine my ideal ending point. How do you want this situation to end up? To me, it appears like you're just drawing the finish line at you all being friends, with or without the relationships between the four. If that's the case, then I'd just be a supportive friend to all four. My best words would be to avoid making strong statements one way or the other, because, even if you aren't doing it, people tend to imagine people in the middle as either on their side or someone else's. Hang out with them all and get their opinions on it.

As for telling Dave, I'd hold up and think about it. Is he the type of person who would "shoot the messenger?" Is he the kind of person who would think better of you for doing it? What would Steph think if you told him?

Basically, ask yourself every single possible question, think of every single possible outcome of every single possible statement, and do your best. Mentally taxing, but it works for me.

Rex_Capone420

there not gonna hold it against me if i tell anyone i know that much

Necrothulhu

it is my business tho...i am still really good friends with all 4 of them...even tho we can't all hang out any more...and im already involved..i know about it now...and i know dave would want to know and would probably be pissed if he found out i knew and didn't tell him

Then why did you ask when you basically just answered your own question

Rex_Capone420

What I do in these scenarios is try and imagine my ideal ending point. How do you want this situation to end up? To me, it appears like you're just drawing the finish line at you all being friends, with or without the relationships between the four. If that's the case, then I'd just be a supportive friend to all four. My best words would be to avoid making strong statements one way or the other, because, even if you aren't doing it, people tend to imagine people in the middle as either on their side or someone else's. Hang out with them all and get their opinions on it.

As for telling Dave, I'd hold up and think about it. Is he the type of person who would "shoot the messenger?" Is he the kind of person who would think better of you for doing it? What would Steph think if you told him?

Basically, ask yourself every single possible question, think of every single possible outcome of every single possible statement, and do your best. Mentally taxing, but it works for me.

this is what im doing, i told steph i don't judge her for what makes her happy, and that it really doesn't conflict me emotionally and will always be friends with her and mike

as for dave, he would not shoot me lol...hes my best friend we know everything about each other...he would be upset, angry, hurt...but i feel like he deserves to know

Rex_Capone420

it is my business tho...i am still really good friends with all 4 of them...even tho we can't all hang out any more...and im already involved..i know about it now...and i know dave would want to know and would probably be pissed if he found out i knew and didn't tell him

Then why did you ask when you basically just answered your own question

um because im trying to weigh both sides and come to a logical conclusion on what i should do

drinkwine732

this is what im doing, i told steph i don't judge her for what makes her happy, and that it really doesn't conflict me emotionally and will always be friends with her and mike

as for dave, he would not shoot me lol...hes my best friend we know everything about each other...he would be upset, angry, hurt...but i feel like he deserves to know

The problem with knowing people for a long time is that history eventually makes the relationships complicated, and it appears right now is a time where that history is making this group of friends complicated. Sometimes the group gets through it, sometimes they don't.

What I would do is tell him, but make sure she knows you're telling him. Your morals mean nothing if you abandon them during crisis.

Take whatever comes at you from that point on.

Rex_Capone420

yeah i think im going to tell him either that...or tell mike he has to tell him or i will do it

SkullAndCrossbones

tell him. he's still hung up on her and if you told him what was going on maybe he'll move on quicker. and its not like anyone is cheating here so there may be hard feelings but they wont be based on betrayal. while honesty can hurt sometimes its ALWAYS the more respectible route.

Rex_Capone420

well good news...mike up and told dave...so i don't have to do that...now im just on damage control

Episode

TL;DR

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

Fuck the bitches, disregard the dudes.

Brian

TL;DR

Too long; didn't rap?

jag

JAJAJAJA

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

Lol. When did it become cool to be to lazy to read?

Good it worked itself out, my advice would have been to tell him, cuz if the situation was reversed, you would want to know.

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

Lol. When did it become cool to be to lazy to read?

Good it worked itself out, my advice would have been to tell him, cuz if the situation was reversed, you would want to know.

Cuz this is goddamn 'Merica, faggot.

Brian

Plus you learn to read in school. Doing so would negate 1 of the 3 golden rules.

Fuck school.