I'm thinking about trying micro dosing shrooms to see if it works or have any effect on my anxiety. Lately it's been getting so bad that it's causing me to have physical issues. I legit thought I was having a heart attack Tuesday. Probably because ignore it rather than dealing with it? Idk but I have a buddy who has been doing it for a while and he swears by it.
I just dont don't know what to do really. It's been keeping me from doing my job as good as I can. I haven't been able to enjoy anything because i just have this overwhelming of doom clouding over me at any time. One bad thought and I'm off the deep end for the rest of the day counting all the thigs iv done wrong.
Iv always had issues with constantly doubting myself but This past year it just seems to Be compounding. Sometimes at work iv even feel dissociated from myself. Like when people say " oh John Ian working on that" or "hey John can you work On this". I don't feel like it's me they aren't really talking to sometimes. It's weird. Like I Just don't feel like myself.
Like Ike I don't even have any reason to feel this way. My life is as easy as its ever been. I think that's why it's been so hard for me to even admit that I have some kind of issue going on. I think it really hit me that I had an issue this week when i was thinking about my colorado trip. The last day after all the shit with the uber driver happened and todd went home and i didnt have anyone to chill with i was so freaked out by it that i didnt even leave the house i was staying at the last day inwas there. I freaked out and all i wanted to do was go home. thats not normal. Old me wouldnt have given even one fuck.
Idk im gonna have a primary care doctor soon but part of me doesnt even want to bring it up. They are just gonna try and stuff me full of xanax.
its def a TLDR but 0. Mostly just venting and i feel a little better.
Like i used to be this person full of creativity. Always trying to think of new ways to make something funny. Now i feel like i struggle to get out of bed for work.. and i enjoy where I work too. Idk i dont get it.
Nah i smoke prettty much every day and that used to help. Its still does distract me and i still really enjoy smoking. But it doesnt really take away the anxiety.
Idk my friend suggested i try xanax and just see How it makes me feel lol. I also dont have an addictive personality at all so that doesnt worry me. So i was thinking about asking my boss if he has a connection just to try it lol. Thats not really the route i want to take but at this point im will to try just about anything other than penis.
I don't think drugs is the answer. Obviously don't get addicted to benzos but shrooms everyday can't be good for your brain either. I switched from Xanax to clonopin cuz if I didn't take benzos before work, I'd wanna strangle like 90% of the dogs I work with but I'm tryna stop cuz I don't want alzheimers when I turn 50. The only thing that's helped so far is pot.
Yeah pot keeps me from being frustrated with things.
My buddy doesnt take shrooms every day. The way he described it to me was he takes a small amount. Like 300mg on a monday and then again on like wednesday or thursday and thats it for the week.
I dont necessarily think its the answer either. It was just something I was interested in doing more research about.
Matt from Trivium is such a fag. He said Load and ReLoad were to of the best recorded metal albums ever and everyone needs to re listen to them
Idk why you're surprised at it lol. It sucks cause the band Matt was in pre-Trivium is fucking tight.
I got In Abito or whatever in the other day, the Ember to Inferno remaster with the demo, and I miss old Trivium
He used to be in a band called Mindscar in orlando. If you've ever seen Trivium live, he's either wearing a Mindscar or Emperor shirt/vest. Unfortunately i think their demo/ep stuff he was on has been lost, or removed or whatever. but he did guest on a couple of their newer songs, He shows off some growls here.
Matt from Trivium is such a fag. He said Load and ReLoad were to of the best recorded metal albums ever and everyone needs to re listen to them
Idk why you're surprised at it lol. It sucks cause the band Matt was in pre-Trivium is fucking tight.
I got In Abito or whatever in the other day, the Ember to Inferno remaster with the demo, and I miss old Trivium
He used to be in a band called Mindscar in orlando. If you've ever seen Trivium live, he's either wearing a Mindscar or Emperor shirt/vest. Unfortunately i think their demo/ep stuff he was on has been lost, or removed or whatever. but he did guest on a couple of their newer songs, He shows off some growls here.
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I just dont don't know what to do really. It's been keeping me from doing my job as good as I can. I haven't been able to enjoy anything because i just have this overwhelming of doom clouding over me at any time. One bad thought and I'm off the deep end for the rest of the day counting all the thigs iv done wrong.
Iv always had issues with constantly doubting myself but This past year it just seems to Be compounding. Sometimes at work iv even feel dissociated from myself. Like when people say " oh John Ian working on that" or "hey John can you work On this". I don't feel like it's me they aren't really talking to sometimes. It's weird. Like I Just don't feel like myself.
Like Ike I don't even have any reason to feel this way. My life is as easy as its ever been. I think that's why it's been so hard for me to even admit that I have some kind of issue going on. I think it really hit me that I had an issue this week when i was thinking about my colorado trip. The last day after all the shit with the uber driver happened and todd went home and i didnt have anyone to chill with i was so freaked out by it that i didnt even leave the house i was staying at the last day inwas there. I freaked out and all i wanted to do was go home. thats not normal. Old me wouldnt have given even one fuck.
Idk im gonna have a primary care doctor soon but part of me doesnt even want to bring it up. They are just gonna try and stuff me full of xanax.
its def a TLDR but 0. Mostly just venting and i feel a little better.
My buddy doesnt take shrooms every day. The way he described it to me was he takes a small amount. Like 300mg on a monday and then again on like wednesday or thursday and thats it for the week.
I dont necessarily think its the answer either. It was just something I was interested in doing more research about.