My dad bitching about my music. Come on! I've listened to metal since I was 14 so he needs to get the fuck over it. I'm blasting Scar Symmetry in my room, not the living room. He comes in "Oh, what is this shit?" Get over it.
The parking permits for free parking that they are giving out for students at my college campus are not valid at the parking garage literally right next door to the building, but at the parking lot 4 blocks away.
Leah, for reals, why do you have such a low self esteem? You've got a smokin' hot bod and face, and you seem like you're not as sassy as you are online.
And don't get me wrong, I love the sassiness. It makes you you!
I have it because of the way I've been treated by some people over the years (friends, boyfirends, ect) even though it doesn't effect it all that much. The big kicker is my skin, it can literally kill my self esteem. When my skin is clear it isn't a problem and I'm at least 20x's happier. And I'm only sassy when I need to be haha
When people get to know me I get told ALOT that they donno how anyone could hurt me, boyfriends or anyone since it happens to me often. People like to lie, stand me up, ect
Psh, I'm sure your skin issues will go away completely as you get older. I know you also make sure the pictures you post here don't highlight them, and I know I've told you this before, but I haven't seen anything wrong with your skin from the photos.
And emotional pain fucking sucks. I know you've mentioned on here before you've been cheated on from different people. That's messed up. Even if you were a total bitch, cheating isn't right. But you're so far from it, and you're absolutely gorgeous to boot.
And I don't say these things to make you feel better, haha!
I know. I get told those things alot but they just keep on happening. If it ain't cheating it's because I'm a fall back just incase they don't find the person they want..but when I say fuck you I'm outtie they try and get meh to stay. Like just be truthful and if I'm not what you want then lets not waste each others time...I wanna be someone's number one that they'd go across nations for haha. I just don't think that will happen to me...although I'm sure I had it once but life said fuck you. I've also been neglected used enough as well. Ugh it's aggravating
And yeah, I make sure I approve of the pic before I post it anywhere which explains why people don't see it alot cuz I don't let them lol. Hopefully one day I'll have a shit load of self esteem and the only thing I'll have to worry about is my hair
Awww shucks thanks Leah...you spoil me....now if I can just remove that duck tape..... But seriously Ellie is right...you have a smoking hot body and face....don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
edited August 2011
I don't believe "the way people treat you" is a valid excuse for poor self esteem. I use to have very poor self-esteem, and I remember the day that changed.
I was playing football with the neighborhood kids. And I was in this huddle with this kid who was just about the coolest kid on the block. Everyone liked him. And since he was QB he was giving everyone route info and he says to me
"Joel I want you to run a slant like this"
and he is all drawing something on his hand, and I am not looking at him at all because i was so shy and had no self confidence. He sees me not looking and grabs my face and forcefully makes me look at him and says
"What the fuck are you doing! Why aren't you looking at the play I am drawing" "I dont know... it's just..." "What! It's just what? Why werent you looking at me!" "honestly because I think I am ugly. And I'm afraid you wont want to be my friend because of how I look" "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Look- I like you for who you are. And if anyone ever doesnt want to be your friend because they dont like the way you look- Do you really want to be that persons friend?" "no. probably not" "Right. So from now on, when ever anyone talks to you, I want you to look them in the eyes and have confidence in who you are. You're a cool dude so just stop with that bullshit"
idk... the conversation was just life changing for me. My thinking poorly of myself stopped on that day.
I think one of the reasons you seem to think you won't ever find someone to treat you right is because you seem like a total shut-in. You need to get out and meet new people. Please correct me if I'm wrong, though.
I was only called ugly in middle school....and I'm sure it continued in HS but I never heard about it lol. The thing that pisses me off the most is people using me, taking me for granted, standing me up, lying ect. Doesn't matter who you are that shit gets old
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
probably a dumb story, but whatever. I think it tells better in person... but the point I was trying to make is self confidence needs to come from within yourself.
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
So did you win the game or not Wakey?
pretty sure we did, but I dont remember the game outcome. Football was a daily thing in the summer. The dude who told me that (Lee) usually won most things he competed in.
As awesome as that story is, Wake, girls are soooo much different than boys when it comes to self esteem, imo. Men who have low self esteem usually go by if they don't have a job or a career. Women tend to focus more on appearance. I know you talked about your appearance, but when your broski is like "Uh dude, what the fuck, that's stupid. Personality is all that matters" it means more because guys tend to be truthful about that. You can be so depressed that someone will tell you all these wonderful things about you, but you refuse they actually believe them because you think they're just trying to shut you up and make you happy so you stop being such a whiny annoying cunt. Even though it's not true.
In my experiences with depression, I thought I was so ugly that I stayed with the guy who cheated on me for literally 3 years because I thought that was the best I'm going to get. The way people treat you can have a huge impact, and it makes you feel like you deserve to get treated that way. I had people telling me for years how terrible this guy was to me and why I'm so much better than him, but I never believed them because of the logic I just described.
I was only called ugly in middle school....and I'm sure it continued in HS but I never heard about it lol. The thing that pisses me off the most is people using me, taking me for granted, standing me up, lying ect. Doesn't matter who you are that shit gets old
As long as you are confident in your appearance. And sorry if the last post I just made doesn't apply to you, I was just giving an example of what low self esteem of any form can do to someone.
I don't understand how these guys can use you like this. Do you just not see the signs until much later or is it something else?
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
great response BT. I bow to your understanding of the sexes. yes, I admit I know very little of how the woman psyche works. I recognize that I may never get to a level of true understanding, but have accepted the fact that I love them anyways.
Comments
Catz needs to get over it....
Can I have my birthday noodz now please?
Really?
Leah, for reals, why do you have such a low self esteem? You've got a smokin' hot bod and face, and you seem like you're not as sassy as you are online.
And don't get me wrong, I love the sassiness. It makes you you!
When people get to know me I get told ALOT that they donno how anyone could hurt me, boyfriends or anyone since it happens to me often. People like to lie, stand me up, ect
And emotional pain fucking sucks. I know you've mentioned on here before you've been cheated on from different people. That's messed up. Even if you were a total bitch, cheating isn't right. But you're so far from it, and you're absolutely gorgeous to boot.
And I don't say these things to make you feel better, haha!
And yeah, I make sure I approve of the pic before I post it anywhere which explains why people don't see it alot cuz I don't let them lol. Hopefully one day I'll have a shit load of self esteem and the only thing I'll have to worry about is my hair
But seriously Ellie is right...you have a smoking hot body and face....don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise
I was playing football with the neighborhood kids. And I was in this huddle with this kid who was just about the coolest kid on the block. Everyone liked him. And since he was QB he was giving everyone route info and he says to me
"Joel I want you to run a slant like this"
and he is all drawing something on his hand, and I am not looking at him at all because i was so shy and had no self confidence. He sees me not looking and grabs my face and forcefully makes me look at him and says
"What the fuck are you doing! Why aren't you looking at the play I am drawing"
"I dont know... it's just..."
"What! It's just what? Why werent you looking at me!"
"honestly because I think I am ugly. And I'm afraid you wont want to be my friend because of how I look"
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Look- I like you for who you are. And if anyone ever doesnt want to be your friend because they dont like the way you look- Do you really want to be that persons friend?"
"no. probably not"
"Right. So from now on, when ever anyone talks to you, I want you to look them in the eyes and have confidence in who you are. You're a cool dude so just stop with that bullshit"
idk... the conversation was just life changing for me. My thinking poorly of myself stopped on that day.
In my experiences with depression, I thought I was so ugly that I stayed with the guy who cheated on me for literally 3 years because I thought that was the best I'm going to get. The way people treat you can have a huge impact, and it makes you feel like you deserve to get treated that way. I had people telling me for years how terrible this guy was to me and why I'm so much better than him, but I never believed them because of the logic I just described.
I don't understand how these guys can use you like this. Do you just not see the signs until much later or is it something else?