I feel like life keeps tugging me away from music. Like I cant be successful in life and ALSO do music. Little things. Not having time to work on it. Not having any money to do things. Seeing other bands blow up far quicker. Struggling to coordinate with my band. Not having a real career. Its all starting to add up, and the only way I see myself being remotely successful in life is if I step away from it. Its so frustrating and hard. The one thing I've dreamed about, and fought for my whole life is holding me back.
Never let it go jack. Just re-adjust and try to throw time in it while you can. Believe me, I feel the exact same way with my comedy stuff especially after being lucky enough to be in a spot now where I have an actual "career" going at a good pay rate and great benefits and shit. It's extremely difficult and frustrating. But I can never give up on it because I would still ditch all this shit in a heartbeat if I got a chance at my dream. Don't let it take all focus away from moving up in life but don't give up on it either.
I just keep thinking about my dad. He wanted nothing more than to be a professional baseball player. He thought he was good enough in high school, but got in a fight and broke his collar bone, and he was unable to try out in college, and it killed his baseball career. He was bitter about it for years. Always saying he was good enough to play pro. He played in local leagues when I was growing up. For most of my life growing up. Then one day he just stopped being bitter about it, and moved on. He stopped playing it. Stopped really even watching it. He stopped caring. He got over it.
I feel that way about me and music. Doing it professionally isn't happening. Nobody cares about my band, really. It's not taking off or going anywhere. My recording career is nonexistent. I can't even afford to move out from my parent's house, let alone afford a studio of my own. And I'm starting to feel depressed and bitter about it. It might be time to rip off the bandaid and admit this isn't happening. Time to get over it, and grow up.
I'll still play around at home, and write some songs here or there. But it wont be a serious thing where I try to play out all the time, or even play out of state or record or anything like that. Just a hobby I dick around with at home. And I need to learn to be ok with that. Because I'm struggling to accept that.
You definitely shouldn't quit music. You can still have a happy life and do it. You might just have to find something with others that fits around sustaining yourself.
It is hard struggling to find to fit in hobbies like that around your life.
What i do is i write everything down. I schedule out my entire day in the morning. Or the week before, or if i can sometimes the month before.
Ive always wanted to build a small streaming community/youtube content to discuss things i/other people enjoy. (gameing, NFL/fantasy sports) I have to do things around my kids schedule. So now that i have all the equipment im going to dedicate 3-4 days a week to stream for 3 hours at night after everything with the family is over, and on weekends.
It works if i write it down, because i can compartmentalize it. I can focus on what im doing for that period of time and not get distracted with something else.
I have so many things i want to do from all that, to podcasting, to trying to work up the balls to do open mic nights with standup. Im 35, and i feel like i am just now starting to get the correct balance down because i had trash ass parents who taught me nothing of use lol.
The point is, dont get to down on yourself. Just keep doing it because you enjoy it. Also remember that this is a tough time of year. A part of what you are feeling could be from lack of sun light and vitamin d.
I feel like life keeps tugging me away from music. Like I cant be successful in life and ALSO do music. Little things. Not having time to work on it. Not having any money to do things. Seeing other bands blow up far quicker. Struggling to coordinate with my band. Not having a real career. Its all starting to add up, and the only way I see myself being remotely successful in life is if I step away from it. Its so frustrating and hard. The one thing I've dreamed about, and fought for my whole life is holding me back.
Super late but it's all something we gotta deal with man.
My advice would be to re-frame your perspective. Making a successful band is difficult. And even when it's "successful" and you're signed to a label and touring and getting praised by the media there's a pretty big chance you're still making close to minimum wage. You've read the articles of these bands coming home from major tours with like 400 bucks in their pocket. Hell, Counterparts new album was the darling of the internet, AOTY contender for a lot of publications and one of the songs on that record is about how touring and making music makes him no money and he wants to kill himself but the musician life is all he knows.
Instead I would look at it like this: do you love making music? Do you enjoy the process? Focus on the journey rather than the destination. Focus on the little victories. You have people jamming your music in South America, Europe, multiple different states, etc. If this was the 80s or 90s your music (at your current popularity level) would have never left Chicago. That's fucking sick dude. People halfway across the planet/country have listened to your art, are wearing your shirts, have your music on cd and tape. You've reached people.
I know nothing any of us can say will make the bitter pill of giving up on your dream as a career any easier to swallow, but it doesn't mean you have to lose your passion entirely.
Yeah starting over is no fun. I had to in November and they pay well enough and with the time off options we have and insurance I’m hoping this is it unless comedy or voice acting takes off lol
My girlfriend has cats, and I like the cats, but I am incredibly allergic. I stayed over last night, and even though I've been away from her house for hours, showered, changed my clothes, etc, I'm still feeling the effects of the cat allergy. Stuffy nose, scratchy throat, ichy eyes, ect. I have practice tonight, and I can already tell my singing is going to be greatly affected. She asks me often why I don't stay over at her place more, and this is part of why. She also really wants us to move in together, and in the back of my head I can't help but think how miserable I am going to be with cats in my house. At least now, I have somewhere I can go to get away from it. There's no relief if they live with me. I take two types of allergy medicine and it isn't enough. I just would hate to be suffering for the next 15 years of my life because I can't breathe or sing correctly because of these cats.
My brother is even worse, when he came with for New Years, he had to open a window because he couldn't breathe, and he left with pink eye. And I also worry that if we move in together my brother wouldn't want to visit me because of the cats.
I’m in the same boat, I’m extremely allergic to cats, can not be around them. I can take a stupid amount of allergy meds but it’s only a bandaid, doesn’t fully stop reactions, especially not enough to live wit them. Your only long term solution other than getting rid of them would be POSSIBLY to shoot for hypoallergenic cats, but that would still involve her having to get rid of the current ones and swapping em out.
I mean, luckily she likes reptiles and dogs too. So long term, we can just stick to other pets. But for a while it's going to be rough. I'm not going to ask her to get rid of them though, that's just mean, plus I like them outside of being allergic. And she was forward thinking enough to ask me about it before she bought them, knowing I was allergic. And I just thought I'd be able to put up with it fine. So that's on me.
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Then one day he just stopped being bitter about it, and moved on. He stopped playing it. Stopped really even watching it. He stopped caring. He got over it.
I feel that way about me and music. Doing it professionally isn't happening. Nobody cares about my band, really. It's not taking off or going anywhere. My recording career is nonexistent. I can't even afford to move out from my parent's house, let alone afford a studio of my own. And I'm starting to feel depressed and bitter about it. It might be time to rip off the bandaid and admit this isn't happening. Time to get over it, and grow up.
I'll still play around at home, and write some songs here or there. But it wont be a serious thing where I try to play out all the time, or even play out of state or record or anything like that. Just a hobby I dick around with at home. And I need to learn to be ok with that. Because I'm struggling to accept that.
What i do is i write everything down. I schedule out my entire day in the morning. Or the week before, or if i can sometimes the month before.
Ive always wanted to build a small streaming community/youtube content to discuss things i/other people enjoy. (gameing, NFL/fantasy sports) I have to do things around my kids schedule. So now that i have all the equipment im going to dedicate 3-4 days a week to stream for 3 hours at night after everything with the family is over, and on weekends.
It works if i write it down, because i can compartmentalize it. I can focus on what im doing for that period of time and not get distracted with something else.
I have so many things i want to do from all that, to podcasting, to trying to work up the balls to do open mic nights with standup. Im 35, and i feel like i am just now starting to get the correct balance down because i had trash ass parents who taught me nothing of use lol.
The point is, dont get to down on yourself. Just keep doing it because you enjoy it. Also remember that this is a tough time of year. A part of what you are feeling could be from lack of sun light and vitamin d.
My advice would be to re-frame your perspective. Making a successful band is difficult. And even when it's "successful" and you're signed to a label and touring and getting praised by the media there's a pretty big chance you're still making close to minimum wage. You've read the articles of these bands coming home from major tours with like 400 bucks in their pocket. Hell, Counterparts new album was the darling of the internet, AOTY contender for a lot of publications and one of the songs on that record is about how touring and making music makes him no money and he wants to kill himself but the musician life is all he knows.
Instead I would look at it like this: do you love making music? Do you enjoy the process? Focus on the journey rather than the destination. Focus on the little victories. You have people jamming your music in South America, Europe, multiple different states, etc. If this was the 80s or 90s your music (at your current popularity level) would have never left Chicago. That's fucking sick dude. People halfway across the planet/country have listened to your art, are wearing your shirts, have your music on cd and tape. You've reached people.
I know nothing any of us can say will make the bitter pill of giving up on your dream as a career any easier to swallow, but it doesn't mean you have to lose your passion entirely.
Yesterday it was announced they are closing my office lol. They spent a lot of money training me. I don't really get it.
I know there are a lot of decisions at a big company that go into something like that. But man I just got comfortable with everyone.
I just wanted stability with my job. I am not looking forward to starting all over again.
I'll be okay. I'm just mild depressed over it.
This time of year sucks in MI where I live. No sun. Cold. Hard to do shit outside.
All will work out. They may even offer me a different job. It's just frustrating.
She asks me often why I don't stay over at her place more, and this is part of why.
She also really wants us to move in together, and in the back of my head I can't help but think how miserable I am going to be with cats in my house. At least now, I have somewhere I can go to get away from it. There's no relief if they live with me. I take two types of allergy medicine and it isn't enough. I just would hate to be suffering for the next 15 years of my life because I can't breathe or sing correctly because of these cats.
My brother is even worse, when he came with for New Years, he had to open a window because he couldn't breathe, and he left with pink eye. And I also worry that if we move in together my brother wouldn't want to visit me because of the cats.
Anyone have any allergy solutions?
And she was forward thinking enough to ask me about it before she bought them, knowing I was allergic. And I just thought I'd be able to put up with it fine. So that's on me.