I was sitting at my table at my house like 10 hours before the show. I called the venue and asked if they thought id be a able to buy tickets at the door. They said probably. Called Devin and of course he rexed. Should have went by myself.
Yeah I think that's partially why I see small local bands as frequently as possible just to make sure I can be that asshole who's like "yeah I see em back when they played this material"
I wish with everything in me that I was the one that were killed or had something tragic happen...If I died and my mom would still have my sister and my nephew..Instead it's just me. I'm broken and fragmented mental shit. I have a disorder that every doctor I see shrugs and goes "shit...well maybe you can see..." I'm afraid of my own reflection. I can't imagine a situation where I grow any real emotional relationship with a woman, let alone build any kind of normal life. She could still have them and try to move on day by day. Instead its just me. I'm a shadow of the person I used to be. I told myself I wouldn't give up. I would keep working at becoming the person that I used to be. But it's one step forward and three steps back. Anytime something promising happens, I'm thrown back. And then I think about how naive I was in high school. Thinking that everybody that killed themself was selfish. I found out that wasn't the case. I get it. I see why people kill their selves. I couldn't dream of it though. I couldn't possibly put my family through that. Instead I'm suck in some kind of dereality prison, trying to get out. Occasionally wishing that some other terrible cosmic event unraveled where on October 16th, 2012 I died in a car accident and my sister and nephew went to sleep and woke up on the 17th.
Dammit Chuck, how am I supposed to make dick jokes about that?
Cheer up Buttercup. You've been through some shit. It's gonna take some time for anything normal to not seem fake or phony. What you're experiencing is survivors guilt. Even if shit went different and it was you, shit would not be ok for your family. There is nothing that can be done to balance things back out, and it fucking sucks, but that's how it is. There is no going back to normal, just adapting to your new normal. When you're going through hell you've no choice but to keep going.
Hang in there buddy. These feelings are like Katia's herpes... Your gonna think it's all mostly behind you and then it flares up again when you least expect it to.
I was sitting at my table at my house like 10 hours before the show. I called the venue and asked if they thought id be a able to buy tickets at the door. They said probably. Called Devin and of course he rexed. Should have went by myself.
And on this day a new MU word was born
REXED Rex-ed To bail, to pull out, to be a no-show
Comments
Never been. The Lincoln Hall is a cool place. It's also a bar/restaurant with good shit on tap and easy to meet band member after shows.
Baroness >
I wish with everything in me that I was the one that were killed or had something tragic happen...If I died and my mom would still have my sister and my nephew..Instead it's just me. I'm broken and fragmented mental shit. I have a disorder that every doctor I see shrugs and goes "shit...well maybe you can see..." I'm afraid of my own reflection. I can't imagine a situation where I grow any real emotional relationship with a woman, let alone build any kind of normal life. She could still have them and try to move on day by day. Instead its just me. I'm a shadow of the person I used to be. I told myself I wouldn't give up. I would keep working at becoming the person that I used to be. But it's one step forward and three steps back. Anytime something promising happens, I'm thrown back. And then I think about how naive I was in high school. Thinking that everybody that killed themself was selfish. I found out that wasn't the case. I get it. I see why people kill their selves. I couldn't dream of it though. I couldn't possibly put my family through that. Instead I'm suck in some kind of dereality prison, trying to get out. Occasionally wishing that some other terrible cosmic event unraveled where on October 16th, 2012 I died in a car accident and my sister and nephew went to sleep and woke up on the 17th.
Cheer up Buttercup. You've been through some shit. It's gonna take some time for anything normal to not seem fake or phony. What you're experiencing is survivors guilt. Even if shit went different and it was you, shit would not be ok for your family. There is nothing that can be done to balance things back out, and it fucking sucks, but that's how it is. There is no going back to normal, just adapting to your new normal. When you're going through hell you've no choice but to keep going.
Hang in there buddy. These feelings are like Katia's herpes... Your gonna think it's all mostly behind you and then it flares up again when you least expect it to.
And on this day a new MU word was born
REXED
Rex-ed
To bail, to pull out, to be a no-show