Yup. Especially if you move to another state and file. Then the spouse has to hire an attorney in the state the divorce was filed in. Most people don't have the resources to mount such a battle and the judges prefer the parent that lives in their state. My dad has had a couple of friends end up on the wrong end of this
It's not necessarily the end of the fight when you leave the state, it just makes the task of retrieving the kids that much more daunting. What's real crazy is when parents take the kids out of country. I've known of a couple instances where that happened and the parent left behind is pretty much fucked
The law everywhere is fucked, tbh. Child custody laws actually make sense, it's just having the money to lawyer up. Poor people are automatically at a disadvantage, just like everything else in life. It kinda benefits me that my family has money and hers doesn't
Well things le child custody differ state to state, it's usually state law I believe not federal law. I've seen some shit where decent people can't see their kids and that's fucked up
When I kicked her out a couple of weeks ago, she took the kids to her moms house in Alabama. I told her she could keep em. Not cuz I didn't want them, but because I know she can't handle them without me. All she thinks about anymore is getting fucked up, so the kids just get in her way. It worked like a charm. She pretty much begged to come back all night til I caved the next morning and let her back in. That would've been here best opportunity to take them if she really wanted them. I don't even know why she pretends to want them so bad. I tell her that when we fight and she acts offended, but it's true
I really do hope things get better, but I don't believe they will. She would have to realize her bs and want to fix it but it doesn't seem like that will happen anytime soon. She can still be going down the same road 2 years from now.
I've had a talk I didn't want to do with my other half and I know it scared him. Ever since he hasn't bought a bottle and has been sticking to beer. Maybe he'll get a couple of those shooters from the drug store. But I couldn't deal with him trashed anymore. It was taking more out of me than I realized and I let him know about it when he got off work one day. I'm still not sure if he gets how embarrassing it was for me to be at a bar, a friends, or at the house with him trashed. I always tried my best to contain it so I would be the only one dealing with the bs but it never worked well. It also didn't help he'd irritate, annoy, or piss me off somehow and the problem with that is my emotions effect him. So if I get like that, he ends up that way..which in turn makes those emotions worse for me and causes a shitstorm domino effect until he falls asleep. It's going to take a while before he's completely sober, but he knows what he has to do and he wants to do it. If he was on anything else and I was in Satan's situation (minus kids), I wouldn't be able to stick around and watch him pretty much kill himself and not give a fuck about it.
Is there anyway you can fix that bs ticket that has come back to bite you? I have a feeling if you can't that little thing can make shit waayy harder for you (regardless of the license)
Damn the situation is 100x shittier because you guys have kids. You could just dip the fuck out otherwise.
I'm glad you're willing to fight for them though. Sounds like a no brainer but there's a lot of bad dads out there. They're lucky to have a dad like you man.
Sorry to hear this Satan. You gotta do what's best for yourself and your kids at some point. I wish you luck in getting through it, you seem to be going about it the right way.
Things kinda have to get better. It's just a tough pill to swallow. I've sacrificed so much for our family. The entire time I worked in bankruptcy, I hated every second of it, knowing it was taking time and effort away from my dreams. But I sucked it up and dealt with it for her and them. Now I'm 36 and years behind my filmmaker peers. I was trying to get bullshit jobs on tv shows in January and got nowhere. And I could've continued to do it in my spare time, but I felt bad cuz she just ended up being home alone with the kids constantly, so I've only done a handful of projects over the last 6 years. I even had a reading for one of my scripts with the screenwriters guild that supposedly went well, but she guilted me into skipping it. The project completely lost steam afterward. So now I have all this regret because of that and all the friends I've let her distance me from. She lies to all our common friends to make me out like a jealous, controlling schizo. That was one of the revelations when I was reading her texts and fb messages. From what it looks like, she commonly disses me to our friends to shed blame for things she causes, like us not showing up for events and such. As if that wasn't bad enough, then I saw how some of them reacted negatively towards me. People I've lent money to, bought things for, taken care of their kids, etc. It's all got me pretty low right now. I don't really have anyone to turn to just to vent. I guess that's why I'm here. I know I've confided things here before and it blew up on me and embarrassed me, but I don't really have anywhere else to turn. My family are all just kinda like "I told you so" cuz none of them have really ever liked her. So they're no help. This all just sucks
Nick, my opinion on this to be honest.. if you left and took the kids.. do you even think she'd try to fight for them? She's gotta know theyre better off with you. You should've left her last time we talked and she was putting you through hell.. She's not a good mom, and your kids dont need to be around that shit. Roman is at the age where he'll remember his mom being like this, and he doesn't need to grow up trying to recoup from his childhood.
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I've had a talk I didn't want to do with my other half and I know it scared him. Ever since he hasn't bought a bottle and has been sticking to beer. Maybe he'll get a couple of those shooters from the drug store. But I couldn't deal with him trashed anymore. It was taking more out of me than I realized and I let him know about it when he got off work one day. I'm still not sure if he gets how embarrassing it was for me to be at a bar, a friends, or at the house with him trashed. I always tried my best to contain it so I would be the only one dealing with the bs but it never worked well. It also didn't help he'd irritate, annoy, or piss me off somehow and the problem with that is my emotions effect him. So if I get like that, he ends up that way..which in turn makes those emotions worse for me and causes a shitstorm domino effect until he falls asleep. It's going to take a while before he's completely sober, but he knows what he has to do and he wants to do it. If he was on anything else and I was in Satan's situation (minus kids), I wouldn't be able to stick around and watch him pretty much kill himself and not give a fuck about it.
Is there anyway you can fix that bs ticket that has come back to bite you? I have a feeling if you can't that little thing can make shit waayy harder for you (regardless of the license)
I'm glad you're willing to fight for them though. Sounds like a no brainer but there's a lot of bad dads out there. They're lucky to have a dad like you man.