Comin' through like Sonic. My speed is so astronomic. I'm poppin' at 'em, I'm bombin', Im'ma drop it like an atomic. Try to keep up, and I'll leave you stupid and catatonic. Dangerous, catastrophic, superhuman, I'm bionic. I'm on it, economic, but I'll break you, so ironic. Gimme any track, and you already know that Im'ma rock it. Wizard spittin' magic, you all comin' shorter than The Hobbit. Gimme any beat, I'll add my potion, and go make a tonic. Fillin' up this track, too many syllables and phonics. Do it automatic, programmed to kill it, robotic. Fairly out of my mind, I am a little bit psychotic. Seize the fuckin' moment, yea, you know that Im'ma cop it. Fuck being sick, I am so ill, that I'm lymphonic. Fuck a goon, fuck a goblin, fuck 'em all, I am demonic. Thinkin' Im'ma stop, well I don't understand your logic. Flyin' so fast, I am commandin' the cockpit.
the time between seconds 15-28 need to be completely cut out. When you say "Fuck it, you aint ready for this one" that is when you need to drop hard into the song. Not just sit around letting the beat roll for a bit so you can throw out another drop point. I've said many times that I dont know rap, but I know I am 100% right on this point. other then that its great- but write the other two verses
Wake, did you read what I said about the collab? The other 2 verses will be done by other Rappers. And actually, in the pause, that huge pause in the beginning has a full verse rapped over it in Turkish lol. But thank you otherwise.\m/
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
Wake, did you read what I said about the collab? The other 2 verses will be done by other Rappers. And actually, in the pause, that huge pause in the beginning has a full verse rapped over it in Turkish lol. But thank you otherwise.\m/
I missed that it was a collaboration. It is almost a bummer that one of your best work is going to be potentially ruined by two others.
Comin' through like Sonic. My speed is so astronomic. I'm poppin' at 'em, I'm bombin', Im'ma drop it like an atomic. Try to keep up, and I'll leave you stupid and catatonic. Dangerous, catastrophic, superhuman, I'm bionic. I'm on it, economic, but I'll break you, so ironic. Gimme any track, and you already know that Im'ma rock it. Wizard spittin' magic, you all comin' shorter than The Hobbit. Gimme any beat, I'll add my potion, and go make a tonic. Fillin' up this track, too many syllables and phonics. Do it automatic, programmed to kill it, robotic. Fairly out of my mind, I am a little bit psychotic. Seize the fuckin' moment, yea, you know that Im'ma cop it. Fuck being sick, I am so ill, that I'm lymphonic. Fuck a goon, fuck a goblin, fuck 'em all, I am demonic. Thinkin' Im'ma stop, well I don't understand your logic. Flyin' so fast, I am commandin' the cockpit.
All those words, yet you didnt really say shit. Do you have something to say or are you babbling in rhyme form?
No. Paraphrase that rap for me, and tell me what the point of it was. If you want to get better you need to realize that criticism can help you grow as a writer. Your rhymes were ok, may e a bit too forced, but I like how you have been expanding the similies and metaphors more than when you first started writing raps (remember who gave you that advice asshole?)
You wrote some stuff, it rhymed. Congrats. Now try to write with meaning instead of bullshit about how awesome you are.
its always funny when jobe owns the shit outta erik
Thanks buddy! Here is a rap I did from the show goes on thread, but it kinda got buried so I don't know if you saw it.
Even though Grand Master Erik has left the building Its still not safe to bring out the women and children Instead you better run and hide, duck and cover, Cuz when Erik comes back.....oooh fuck your mother Faggity, fattot tree, suck my dick, its so sad to see When will we ever see a lick of originality Fat fuck, trailer trash, kiss my ass, thanks but I will pass Fuck off, do better, I don't give a fuck, man whatever Suck my dick you fag, you're gay This is my life so I wont hear what you say, I've been living this since last Tuesday. You know how he is, with that chip on his shoulder its bigger than the dicks in Catz's fap folder
Comin' through like Sonic. - Coming in like Sonic The Hedgehog; very fast. My speed is so astronomic. - Self explanatory. I'm poppin' at 'em, I'm bombin', Im'ma drop it like an atomic. - Dropping a bomb. Try to keep up, and I'll leave you stupid and catatonic. - Probably can't keep up with what I'm saying. Dangerous, catastrophic, superhuman, I'm bionic. - Self explanatory. I'm on it, economic, but I'll break you, so ironic. - Wordplay. Economic, but I'll "break" you, wordplay on being broke. Making it ironic, since I just said I'm economic. Gimme any track, and you already know that Im'ma rock it. - Yep. Wizard spittin' magic, you all comin' shorter than The Hobbit. - Pretty self explanatory, wizard and Hobbit are relatable, keeps the same theme. Gimme any beat, I'll add my potion, and go make a tonic. - Keeping with the magic/wizard theme. Fillin' up this track, too many syllables and phonics. - Self explanatory. Do it automatic, programmed to kill it, robotic. - Always. B-) Fairly out of my mind, I am a little bit psychotic. - Went nuts on this track. Seize the fuckin' moment, yea, you know that Im'ma cop it. - Always gonna grab at success. Fuck being sick, I am so ill, that I'm lymphonic. - Every Rapper says they're sick, I'm beyond that. Fuck a goon, fuck a goblin, fuck 'em all, I am demonic. - Rappers always say "I'm a goon". And it's a play on Weezy's line "What's a goon to a goblin?" fuck that pussy shit, I'm a demon. Thinkin' Im'ma stop, well I don't understand your logic. - You out your mind nigguh? Never gonna bring me down. Flyin' so fast, I am commandin' the cockpit. - Just destroyed the song in an extremely fast fashion.
All those words, yet you didnt really say shit. Do you have something to say or are you babbling in rhyme form?
Comin' through like Sonic. - Coming in like Sonic The Hedgehog; very fast. My speed is so astronomic. - Self explanatory. I'm poppin' at 'em, I'm bombin', Im'ma drop it like an atomic. - Dropping a bomb. Try to keep up, and I'll leave you stupid and catatonic. - Probably can't keep up with what I'm saying. Dangerous, catastrophic, superhuman, I'm bionic. - Self explanatory. I'm on it, economic, but I'll break you, so ironic. - Wordplay. Economic, but I'll "break" you, wordplay on being broke. Gimme any track, and you already know that Im'ma rock it. - Yep. Wizard spittin' magic, you all comin' shorter than The Hobbit. - Pretty self explanatory, wizard and Hobbit are relatable, keeps the same theme. Gimme any beat, I'll add my potion, and go make a tonic. - Keeping with the magic/wizard theme. Fillin' up this track, too many syllables and phonics. - Self explanatory. Do it automatic, programmed to kill it, robotic. - Always. B-) Fairly out of my mind, I am a little bit psychotic. - Went nuts on this track. Seize the fuckin' moment, yea, you know that Im'ma cop it. - Always gonna grab at success. Fuck being sick, I am so ill, that I'm lymphonic. - Every Rapper says they're sick, I'm beyond that. Fuck a goon, fuck a goblin, fuck 'em all, I am demonic. - Rappers always say "I'm a goon". And it's a play on Weezy's line "What's a goon to a goblin?" fuck that pussy shit, I'm a demon. Thinkin' Im'ma stop, well I don't understand your logic. - You out your mind nigguh? Never gonna bring me down. Flyin' so fast, I am commandin' the cockpit. - Just destroyed the song in an extremely fast fashion.
All those words, yet you didnt really say shit. Do you have something to say or are you babbling in rhyme form?
Happy now, asshole?
So you told how fast you are, your a magician, rapped about money even though your broke, and then bragged about how awesome you are at rapping again.
Comments
Just curious.
All those words, yet you didnt really say shit. Do you have something to say or are you babbling in rhyme form?
You wrote some stuff, it rhymed. Congrats. Now try to write with meaning instead of bullshit about how awesome you are.
Happy now, asshole?
:-))