I still remember when everyone thought Mr. William Kriss was a female. Who the fuck calls themselves "Scary but Sexy"? So me and you got to talking on a more personal one on one level, and I found out you like a band called Waking the Cadaver. I had never heard of them before, so I checked them out. I listened to one song by them and realized they were shittier than your attempted smiles in all of your pictures. It also turns out you're not scary or sexy, you're just a fucking Juggalo. Speaking of "scary but sexy", I have to bring up your mother. Back at Mayhem Fest 2009, when all of us met up to do the group picture, you were too busy smacking your mom in the face telling her to give you a Cola Rockstar. When your mom approached us, I had never seen something so scary but sexy. I knew I had to have her. After we took our cute little picture to post on the Mayhem Fest forums, I told your mom that she should probably clean her son's face off since there was Rockstar all over it, and we got to talking even more. She offered me some hookah. I told her that no one brings hookah to a heavy metal show. She then told me that her son was a little cunt and begged her to take it. I told her that her son sounded like a square, and she should get with a real teenage boy. We made sweet, sweet love behind the Jager Stage. After that day I never called your mom back. Sorry Will, she seems like a great person, I just don't have time to become a step dad. If I did became your step father, I would teach you that just because someone wears a flannel shirt, doesn't mean they're a lumberjack. I would also try sending you to a better school than Central Michigan University, where all you're gonna do is stalk me while smoking all day and two stepping all night.
But Will, this is a roast. You know I don't really mean any of this stuff. You take a lot of shit from us, and I give you credit for that.
What can be said about Will? He has been on the forum supporting underground bands like Slipknot and Dimmu Borgir since 2008. Unfortunately, I was not around when he first joined, but I think it's safe to say that I missed out on the text equivalent of a steaming pile of dog shit that in the right light looks like a preteen popstar. Seriously Will? Scary But Sexy? That sounds like how middle school fat girls would describe Robert Pattinson, and it's probably the only girls attracted to you. Nothing says "look at me, I'm so evil and misunderstood" like a good frowning at the mirror picture taken by a hot pink camera. Will, we get it, even you don't know your own sexuality. I mean let's face it, anyone who calls themselves Scary But Sexy and wears ICP shirts surely has a few screws loose...and by a few screws loose, I mean you suck dick. You aren't metal, you've never been metal, and you are about as heterosexual as...well, you just aren't. Fuck you, fuck your haircut, and fuck your mom. Thank you.
TUPAC IS DEAD/THE LEGEND IS GONE/THEY SAYIN TUPAC'S BACK?/DEM NIGGAS WRONG
Ive never met another justin bieber look-alike who thought himself as a juggalo before and i hope i never do... ive also never met anyone who sucked slipknots and icps dick at the same time... but then i met sir william here.. and let me tell you once you get past the faggot hair cut and the rediculously gay pictures he doesnt seem like that bad of a guy... but then(*edit) as brian said before, you changed your name to Scary But Sexy... and that will is a double lie... people like double dick suckers, but not a double lier
william kriss, where the fuck do i start? first off, scary but sexy AND a juggalo? you should of killed yourself back when icp was popular. Now to your current look/name. we all know who you look like, but what the fuck came over your head when you got that hair cut. "oh boy when i get my hair cut to look like justin beiber, all the girls will like me and wanna fuck me" well too bad the girls that like will don't know what fucking is.
in closing, though i havent met ya in person, you seem like a decent human being and all, and listens to real music,.. well fuck it, william kriss prboably blares brokencyle and blood on the dance floor on high levels and goes "OOOOH, YEAH" while his non existant dick shoots a load.
... I didn't laugh at any of these. I thought they would be funnier.
No one really tried, bro. It would be actually possible to do if we actually knew Will instead of some dude that takes angry pictures of himself, likes metal, and pours rockstar on himself when some of the forumers meet him. Not much we can really do here.
TUPAC IS DEAD/THE LEGEND IS GONE/THEY SAYIN TUPAC'S BACK?/DEM NIGGAS WRONG
Comments
Son, I am disappoint.
But Will, this is a roast. You know I don't really mean any of this stuff. You take a lot of shit from us, and I give you credit for that.
*hugs and sits with the rest of the roastmasters*
Now THATS better.
Inaccurate speech is inaccurate.
in closing, though i havent met ya in person, you seem like a decent human being and all, and listens to real music,.. well fuck it, william kriss prboably blares brokencyle and blood on the dance floor on high levels and goes "OOOOH, YEAH" while his non existant dick shoots a load.
good night