Okay so I got home last night from work Poured a huge JD and coke Mrs said we were going out So I sculled it Went to friends house Drunk four glasses of champagne Went for dinner at a local upmarket restaurant Had pork (which I love but plays havoc on my stomach) Had two glasses of red wine Got home at midnight Awake by 6am Felt a bit rough this morning and had a mean shit Just got to work now at 9am and felt a bit squiffy so I went to the downstairs bog at work to lay a cable No sooner did I sit down than my ass exploded and I did this huge messy crap that sprayed the entire bowl and underside of the toilet seat... I'm now sitting here in the shitter and looking around the toilet wondering where all the toilet paper is
Don't worry guys i found a little bit Now the trick is to see how many times you can use then fold then use then fold then use a small piece of toilet paper
I just had to empty an entire can of air freshener in the toilet area (it's a huge handicap toilet with a shower) to disguise my sins......otherwise that horrid stench of my ass would be wafting around the office and up the stairs again (like the last time when I got busted by all the shielas in the office after doing a huge gnarly hangover shit).
Speaking of shitting. .... My mate owns a few kiwifruit orchards. He was fucking furious last night when I caught up with him He recently bought a portaloo toilet I geuss he uses them on his orchards and moves them from orchard to orchard when the pickers and pruners and workers come thru He had only just had the portaloo delivered to his main work site and it was just sitting on a concrete pad....it hadn't been hooked up to anything and there was no hole in the ground underneath it and no Chemicals etc in it And someone has come along and used it and dropped a huge turd in it I found it hilarious He didnt
Okay so I got home last night from work Poured a huge JD and coke Mrs said we were going out So I sculled it Went to friends house Drunk four glasses of champagne Went for dinner at a local upmarket restaurant Had pork (which I love but plays havoc on my stomach) Had two glasses of red wine Got home at midnight Awake by 6am Felt a bit rough this morning and had a mean shit Just got to work now at 9am and felt a bit squiffy so I went to the downstairs bog at work to lay a cable No sooner did I sit down than my ass exploded and I did this huge messy crap that sprayed the entire bowl and underside of the toilet seat... I'm now sitting here in the shitter and looking around the toilet wondering where all the toilet paper is
i call those the nasty erikz
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Comments
Poured a huge JD and coke
Mrs said we were going out
So I sculled it
Went to friends house
Drunk four glasses of champagne
Went for dinner at a local upmarket restaurant
Had pork (which I love but plays havoc on my stomach)
Had two glasses of red wine
Got home at midnight
Awake by 6am
Felt a bit rough this morning and had a mean shit
Just got to work now at 9am and felt a bit squiffy so I went to the downstairs bog at work to lay a cable
No sooner did I sit down than my ass exploded and I did this huge messy crap that sprayed the entire bowl and underside of the toilet seat...
I'm now sitting here in the shitter and looking around the toilet wondering where all the toilet paper is
Now the trick is to see how many times you can use then fold then use then fold then use a small piece of toilet paper
I ate some grass
I used my hand
to wipe my tears"
My mate owns a few kiwifruit orchards.
He was fucking furious last night when I caught up with him
He recently bought a portaloo toilet
I geuss he uses them on his orchards and moves them from orchard to orchard when the pickers and pruners and workers come thru
He had only just had the portaloo delivered to his main work site and it was just sitting on a concrete pad....it hadn't been hooked up to anything and there was no hole in the ground underneath it and no Chemicals etc in it
And someone has come along and used it and dropped a huge turd in it
I found it hilarious
He didnt
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
http://fiftiesweb.com/dead/dead-people-2017/