Nigga said he road tripped straight through to LA to see tool. Will be quitting my job and following them on their next tour. I need to be able to experience the full effect of being a Toolhead.
This story my friend just told me...too good for the quotes thread. Quick back story, he had a kid with his hs girlfriend, the girl he lost his virginity to. They broke up once briefly so he's only had sex with one other girl his entire life. He also likes to use the alias Brian West when he does shady stuff lol
"So as you know, I was really fucking drunk and baby mama hasn't fucked me in god knows how long. So I'm on whisper looking for a way to get Brian West's dick wet. It's about 2 and I find this girl who is down to fuck. I knew she was ugly, I knew this. I drive to her house, she opens the door...On any scale, doesn't matter what it is...this girl is a 1. She's ugly. She opens the door and I say "Hi I'm Dave, nice to meet you." I couldn't even disgrace Brian West's name. So she's sucking my dick and I can't get over how fucking ugly she is, it's like 15 minutes and I'm still not hard. Say I gotta go to the bathroom and I just start looking at porn and jerking it. I get until right when I'm about to cum, run out the bathroom - keep in mind I was really fucking drunk and probably shouldn't even have drove her. So I run out the bathroom, put the condom on, bend her over, stick it in and no more than four absolute barbaric pumps later I pull out, rip the condom and cum all over her sheets. Stand up, put my pants on and say "Nice to meet you" and fucking run out her house. I didn't get to hear her say anything. I'm running out her door and halfway across her neighbors yard when I realize the condom is still in my hand and just drop it."
im out with my dad and his friend. They got a few pitchers. They drink Old Style
Slightly better I guess. Old Style is fucking trash tho. I think I'd drink piss again before I drink Old Style again...as if there is that much of a difference.
Dunno what to tell you. We ordered two pitchers. Had three mugs full from each pitcher while we ate. Then an addition beer and shot at the bar, and a beer when I got home.
Comments
"So as you know, I was really fucking drunk and baby mama hasn't fucked me in god knows how long. So I'm on whisper looking for a way to get Brian West's dick wet. It's about 2 and I find this girl who is down to fuck. I knew she was ugly, I knew this. I drive to her house, she opens the door...On any scale, doesn't matter what it is...this girl is a 1. She's ugly. She opens the door and I say "Hi I'm Dave, nice to meet you." I couldn't even disgrace Brian West's name. So she's sucking my dick and I can't get over how fucking ugly she is, it's like 15 minutes and I'm still not hard. Say I gotta go to the bathroom and I just start looking at porn and jerking it. I get until right when I'm about to cum, run out the bathroom - keep in mind I was really fucking drunk and probably shouldn't even have drove her. So I run out the bathroom, put the condom on, bend her over, stick it in and no more than four absolute barbaric pumps later I pull out, rip the condom and cum all over her sheets. Stand up, put my pants on and say "Nice to meet you" and fucking run out her house. I didn't get to hear her say anything. I'm running out her door and halfway across her neighbors yard when I realize the condom is still in my hand and just drop it."
im out with my dad and his friend. They got a few pitchers. They drink Old Style